Critical Hit
by SarahTonin
Summary: Human AU Kiki never wanted to be the face of her father's video game company. She'd much rather enjoy her games in peace without the pressures of the real world. So, what happens when her perfect virtual world gets disrupted by a loud, happy go lucky hero? Used different human names. Ameripan Fem!Japan x America.
1. Press Start

I listened to the hum and chime as the gaming system came to life. I could see my reflection on the dark blank screen. The gaming logo appeared in bright blue letters. I closed my eyes and internally groaned at the upcoming sequence. It was my face, yet it wasn't my reflection. My virtual face came to a gentle smile as "Nihonda" letters danced around me. This was embarrassing. I never wanted this, but I guess that's what I'd get for having an overly doting father.

My father was the president and founder of Nihonda Gaming Company. He insisted on capturing practically every moment of my life. I guess he felt guilty for being so busy and not very present when I was younger. He had taken that particular moment shortly after I had graduated. He had promised me a job in a high position within the company.

Of course I was happy. It had been my dream since I was a little girl to be part of the gaming company. And I would be doing the thing I love most as a job. I had worked hard to graduate early and be the very best in my field. Everything had seemed to be going my way, and I had never been happier. It hadn't occurred to me that he was filming.

I thought it was strange that my dad had insisted I wear that green sweater that day. Using CGI effects, he had turned regular old me into some sort of gamer goddess. I was practically an overnight Internet sensation. Memes and gifs were everywhere. Everyone wondered who was the beautiful woman in the opening sequence. Being the proud parent that he was, Dad just had to tell them it was me.

I could hardly go anywhere without people trying to take my picture. "Kiki starts new trend by wearing jeans and a t-shirt!" "Is Kiki anorexic? Sources show her buying ramen from a local store!" Couldn't they just leave me alone?

"Kiki! I brought food!" I heard the voice over the music of the home screen of the game.

I took off my headphones and exited my dark little gaming room. I blinked at the bright light of the hallway. I rubbed my eyes and took off the glasses I used exclusively for gaming. I made my way over to the kitchen.

My best friend, Charlie, placed two bags on my table. "I got us some carry out." Charlie worked in her family's Chinese restaurant. She would do me a favor every once in a while and bring me food. We have been best friends since practically infancy. We were pretty much family. She frowned when she saw me. "What do you do holed up in there all day? That can't be healthy."

"I'm working." I used my classic excuse. It had taken me a while to gain the other higher ups trust me to work exclusively at home. They doubted my skills. They thought I had only gotten the position simply due to my family connections. They were wrong of course. I simply had a way with gaming software. All of the major gaming hits within the past 15 years from the company had stemmed from my ideas. But now, I knew how to make them. After a while they stopped complaining and let me do as I pleased. I think they were also just tired of the paparazzi taking up their parking spaces.

I worked mostly through my high tech personal computer. Big company meeting? Skype conference. Questions about a certain code? E-mail. I was always efficient in replying back straight away. And of course, where all the magic happened. I could create and package entire games from my computer and send it to all of the appropriate divisions anywhere in the world. All within the security and comfort of my home.

"If you keep yourself locked away all day, you're never going to get a boyfriend," Charlie said. She used her chopsticks to dive into the Kung Pao Chicken.

I rolled my eyes. Charlie thought a boyfriend could solve everything. And she insisted that I had to listen to her just because she was a bit older than me.

"Oh, that reminds me! My cousin! He knows a guy who knows a guy who'd be perfect for you!" she said enthusiastically. She waited for my sure to be equally enthusiastic response.

Not again. I calmly opened my own package of food. "Is he a gamer?" I asked with indifference.

"Yeah..."

"Then no." If he was a gamer, then he only wanted the name. He didn't want to date me. He'd just brag to all his friends how he's dating the hot girl from Nihonda games. The president's daughter, Kiki. He'd revel in his ten seconds of fame. I'd never hear the end of it.

"Oh, I just remembered. He's actually not really that into gaming" Charlie continued, trying to appease me.

I crinkled my nose. "No." That sounded even more revolting.

"Kiki..." Charlie lectured. We had been through this before. I had turned down every boy she ever thought had the potential to be boyfriend quality.

"How am I supposed to connect with someone who doesn't like gaming? We'd have nothing in common."

"You've got to give me something to work with. If you don't try, you're going to end up a lonely old cat lady."

I frowned. "I like cats. Plus, I'm not old. I've practically got my whole life ahead of me."

"That's the problem, Kiki. You don't know how to live! You flew through high school and college. I don't think you ever gave anyone a chance to get close to you. You're only 19 for goodness sakes! Can't you let yourself have a little fun while you're still young?"

I hadn't enjoyed school. I loved learning, but I hated school. School was just filled with needless drama. School was filled with people who were constantly manipulative and two-sided. Why wouldn't I want to get through it as fast as I could? "I do have fun. I have fun everyday."

"We don't live in a virtual world, Kiki. Life is not a game of Sims."

"I do NOT play Sims." Very often.

"Oh, right! And like those RGP third person shoot out games are any better!"

"RPG first person shooter," I corrected her. "And World of Warfare III is amazing."

"Oh right!" The conversation suddenly took a sudden turn. Her tone became a lot less biting. "Your new game is officially released tomorrow, isn't it!"

I nodded. "Gamers are allowed to register starting at 11:11 tomorrow morning." It was my first game I made officially with the company. It was my pride and joy. And quite possibly the greatest game in existence. I could feel girlish squeals threatening to rush out of my chest. "It's eleven eleven because that's when the First World War officially ended. You see, it's a bit of a play on words. The title of the game refers to the world wars, implying a third one, even though there has been no World of Warfare I or II. The places where you start are all connected to important battles in World War..."

"Wow, and no one has it yet. Are you sure it hasn't been leaked out?"

I was a little annoyed that she had interrupted me. She just didn't share the same passion for games I did. "No. I have kept this under tight wraps. Only a few select people have the full version."

"And you're one of them?" Charlie asked.

"Yeah. It would be kind of hard for me to work on it if I I didn't have it working at its full capabilities." I rolled my eyes. Of course I could trust myself.

Charlie's hand went to her head. "Ow! I think I'm getting a migraine. Do you have any Advil?"

"I'll go check," I made my way to the bathroom medicine cabinet. I opened the bottle and the little blue pills were all gone. Funny, I thought I had like half of a bottle a week ago. I threw the empty bottle away and grabbed another bottle.

"Sorry. Out of ibuprofen. I've got acetaminophen," I said as I came back out. Charlie had reclined herself on my couch. She had her eyes closed and was rubbing her temples. She groaned. "Ugh, I can't stand that stuff. It'll take forever. Advil works way faster. Do you think you could get some more for me?"

You have got to be kidding me. "Are you serious? I can't go out there!"

"Please, Kiki! I can barely move as it is. And I've got the next shift. I could be done with work by now, but I had to bring my best friend some food so she wouldn't die!"

She was playing the guilt card big time. And I was falling for it like I always did. I slipped up the hood of my hoodie, trying to hide my face.

"Kiki, you're a life saver!" Charlie called out to me as I left my apartment.

I took the stairs rather than the elevator to avoid the front entrance. It was especially crowded with reporters since the release of the game was tomorrow. Quite a few have overflown out into the street.

"She's got to come out sometime," I overheard a reporter saying. "She hasn't left for days."

"I don't know. That chick's one tough cookie," said the other reporter. "There's a rumor going around that Kiki is actually a real hardcore gamer. So hardcore that she basically forced the president to give her a job as the Lead Gaming Designer."

"That's a load of crap if I ever heard it!" That's right! I had never forced anyone to do anything. "You need to check your sources before you spew that nonsense. There's no way a girl that pretty could that into gaming. Plus, you know the Lead Gaming Designer is Kiku Honda. That guy's a genius! Probably the best mind of our generation."

"Then why aren't we trying to get an interview with him instead of trying to get a picture of some rich, daddy's girl bimbo?"

Oh, just because my face was plastered to the fake virtual body, I was a bimbo?

"No one knows who Kiku is. No one knows a thing about him. He insisted on top notch privacy when he entered the company. No one can even get a single lead on him."

It would have been one thing if they were actually here to interview me about the game. But they were just here to make a few bucks off of an exclusive picture of Kiki. I used an alias in my job so that my connection to my father wouldn't effect the mass's outlook of the game. I wanted to be separate from my father's influence without actually leaving the company I loved.

"Excuse me," I said softly. The two reporters were blocking the entrance to the convenience store.

They simply stepped aside without acknowledging me. It was funny in a way how wrong they were. I knew a lot of girls in the games I played. Though, I really didn't have any way of knowing if they were pretty or not. Material stuff like appearances didn't matter in the gaming world. You could be whatever you wanted. Free of the expectations of the outside world.

I found the Advil easy enough. I just wanted to get back to my room as soon as possible. I proceeded to the checkout line. One of the reporters was behind me. He had two cups of coffee in his hands. I froze. If he got close enough, would he recognize me? I needed to keep my cool.

"Next," the bored looking cashier lady said. She scanned my one item.

"That'll be $15.00," she said in a monotone voice.

Geez, this stuff was expensive. I reached for my pockets. Nothing. I had no pockets. I was still wearing my gaming shorts. I reached for my hoodie pocket praying for something. Still nothing.

The reported behind me started to tap his foot. I looked down in embarrassment. "I...um...must have..." I started.

"Look, just get hers with mine," the reporter insisted.

I was stunned by his generosity. He didn't even know who I was, and he was paying for my medicine, which was easily over the price of two cheap coffees. I hadn't met any reporters like that. Usually they were just greedy, thoughtless scumbags. Not that I would ever call them that to their face.

"Thank you," I said earnestly. "I can pay you back. I live in that apartment complex over there." I pointed at the building across the street.

"Honey, there's no need to lie. I'm not an idiot. There's no way they'd let someone like you, who can't even pay for a bottle of pills, in there. Be careful with those. Wouldn't want you to OD."

Someone like me? What was wrong with the way I looked? It was just a pair of cotton shorts and a hoodie. Sure, I wasn't exactly looking like a supermodel right now, but did they really expect me to look perfect all the time?

I shrugged my shoulders. Maybe, this would be easier than I thought. I didn't think peoples minds could actually be that shallow. I guess it could be nice to get some fresh air every once in a while. The reporters didn't even try to stop me as went back to the front entrance of my apartment building. They were looking for a girl going out, not one coming in.

The bellman smiled at me as he opened the door. "Good evening, Miss Nihonda!"

Snap, I couldn't stop him in time. The reporters all whipped around simultaneously. Light bulbs flashed as they hunted for their next headline. I bobbed and weaved through them, slightly blinded and running headlong for the open elevator. I repeatedly pressed the button for my floor and forced the doors to close behind me, separating me from the growing, frantic, shouting mob.

There was sort of an awkward peace on the ride up. My staggered breathing with the soft tune of the elevator music. I was alone and sprawled out on the elevator floor, too exhausted by the world to attempt to sit up.

The elevator dinged for my floor and the doors slowly opened. I pushed myself up and headed to my apartment.

"Took you long enough," Charlie said from the couch when she heard the door open.

"It's decided. I am never going outside again," I said as I closed it.

"It's not that bad. Stop being so dramatic."

"You're one to talk. You sound awfully happy for a person with a migraine." I tossed the medicine at the couch.

It landed on Charlie's chest. Her hands were otherwise occupied. She was smiling slyly up at her phone.

"You didn't..." I said crossly.

"What?" Charlie said innocently. Too innocent. I left her in the living room and rushed to my computer. There was no evidence at first. It was exactly the way I left it. The title screen for my version of World of Warfare III was still on pause. I pressed a few buttons and brought up a hidden screen. One unauthorized download.

I stomped back to the living room. "Charlie..." I started to scold.

"It was nothing, I swear! My headache went away, and my cousin told me some good news. Aren't I allowed to be happy sometimes?"

"Charlie, how many times do we have to go through this? There are copyright laws for a reason. It means you have no right to copy!"

"Kiki, I don't have any idea what you're talking..."

"Oh, really? Then explain how there could have been one unauthorized download of WWIII in the timespan that it took me to get your Advil for your fake migraine."

"I...I...oh, relax, Kiki. I could only get one. It took up too much memory. And for the record, I did get good news from my cousin. He said..."

"Charlie, I don't think you understand the responsibilities I have. I can't let my game be distributed this way. Just think of the ways a hacker could..."

"Seriously, Kiki, chill out. I seriously doubt anyone besides you could crack all those codes in your game. It was a bitch just trying to guess your password, and I know practically everything about you."

That was true. I hadn't even told anyone else in the company all of the codes. It was a little pleasure I took in knowing that only I knew all of the little hidden secrets and surprises of the game. Still, hindsight was slapping me silly for showing Charlie the best way to create a safe password.

"It's not like you'll miss the money anyway. You'll still sell like a bazillion copies of that game. So what if one or two of them happen to be slightly illegal? I'll only be getting a small margin of profit."

"It's wrong, Charlie. That's what. I seriously don't understand why I keep you as a friend."

Charlie knew she had won at this point. A coy smile filled her face. "Because you love me and I bring you food." She got off the couch and ruffled my hair a bit. "I'll bring you sushi tomorrow in apology!" She called as she left.

"Better make it salted salmon, and you're not off the hook!" I yelled after her, but she was gone.

I let out an exasperated breath. Charlie could get me into some serious trouble if this got out. I needed to think this through. I think I put some sort of limitation on how many copies could be made before the quality went out the window. No one would buy it as the real game if it was mass produced. I should be fine.

I smoothed down my frazzled hair and went back to my gaming room. I slipped my headphones and glasses back on. I tried to contain my excitement as I clicked start to play my final run through before my creation went global.


	2. Loading

It didn't seem like it could load fast enough, but I knew that this game had the fastest loading time of any of its kind. A skipped through a few of the introductory pages. Usually, I would read them to get the whole experience, but I had edited and reedited those pages so many times. I didn't want to find some nonexistent flaw and make myself all depressed. I doubt anything could bring me off of this buzz, though.

Basically, the pages explained the concepts of the game. It really was the ultimate game. It tied several different gaming options into one giant adventure. Different goals. Different competitions. Different fighting styles. Different cultures. Different times. The possibilities were endless.

The next screen let the user determine how they start off. This was one of the most time consuming parts of getting started. Being the game creator, I had infinitely more options. It was a big commitment. I had to choose the look, abilities, and starting stats for my character that would last me pretty much throughout the game.

The name wasn't really that hard to choose. I had used this name since I was a little girl: SakurAssassin. The gender was easy as well: undefined. I hated to be classified as one or the other. I wasn't a guy and didn't believe I should pretend to be one. Girls never had the stats I wanted. So, I had formulated the system in a way that I could just focus on stats and override the gender identification.

To go with my name, I chose to be a ninja. It was best for sneaking around the game trying to find areas to improve. I chose my favorite ability: invisibility. It wasn't perfect invisibility because that wouldn't be fair, but it was pretty darn close. I would be invisible to all people whenever I chose under a certain setting except for the one who killed me last.

There was also a starting item that would let me walk through solid objects. That may have been a bit of a hack. The staring weapons are usually supposed to be chosen randomly. It could be anything from a weapon, or specialty item, or just a potion. I was sure to get the ghost walker so I could maneuver through my game. I made the excuse that I needed it for my job, but in reality, I just thought it would be awesome. I could get through all those crowds so easily. If only that could happen in real life.

Once I was satisfied, I submitted my final decision for my player. It showed my character before loading the actual gameplay. My person was covered head to toe in black. The only thing you could see was a pair of eyes. A black mask covered most of my face. Even when I chose not to be invisible, I could remain a mystery.

The starting point for my character was in Japan. There were eight different starting points based off of the eight main powers in World War II. The scenery, although it was virtual, was breathtaking. The trees were all in bloom with soft pink flowers. Birds chirped softly through my headphones. You could see the wind rustling the trees. If only I could feel that on my skin. This whole experience was sensational.

Of all the places, Japan was my favorite, at least when there was no one else around. It was so peaceful. China was pretty peaceful, too. There were a lot of shops there. It was a good place to get the best deals, but the quality was not always the best to trust. There wasn't much in Russia, but it was a good place for fighting some pretty intimidating snow monsters. They were rare, but gave a lot of experience.

France was pretty. It had some high quality shops, so that would attract a lot of people. It was a good place to meet others and compete against them in duels. England was a rather dreary place. There were a lot of magical qualities to find there. Potions were hidden all over the place, and there were a lot of mischievous creatures.

Germany would be a good place to find really strong fighters, like Russia. In Germany, there was an institute for game strategy. It was a pretty slow way to gain experience, but there wasn't any risk. You could always try for the Black Forest, but you could never really tell what you'd find there.

Italy didn't really have anything for fighters. I had a feeling it would be popular with some of the girl gamers. This place, as well as France, was where you could find some of the romance aspects of the game. There were pretty gorgeous NPCs that were hopelessly devoted to whoever could unlock their hearts. The hotter they were, the harder it would be to obtain. It was fun to look at pretty boys and all, but I preferred to go out on adventures.

And last but not least, the farthest west was America. It was probably one of the most exciting places in the game. All major information about the game and player standings could be found here. It was a good place to get updated on all the different aspects of the game. It was probably my second favorite place in the game. At night, the lights would dance around the night sky. It was beautiful in a different way than the natural Japan.

I looked at my clock. It read midnight. This had taken me longer than I intended. The game would be released today. There was only about eleven hours until the players would log in. That gave me just enough time to do a final run through of the game while checking for flaws.

* * *

Even being able to walk through objects, it took a very long time to check every nook and cranny of the game. The world was just so huge. Everything came out satisfactory. Hidden items were where they were supposed to be. Creatures and bosses were at reasonable levels and were able to be defeated. NPCs were interacting properly.

I made it all the way to the final boss chamber. This was the last place I needed to check. I slipped through the heavy puzzle door. I checked the time. It read 7:40 am. I rubbed my eyes. I had made great time, but I was starting to get sleepy. I promised that I would go to sleep just after this. I turned my invisibility on. This final boss was pretty intimidating. The invisibility wouldn't really do much. The boss could hear pretty much anything. His reactions were lightening quick. I peered around the corner. Yep, he was where he was supposed to be. Great. Everything checked out alright. I tiptoed back to the door. I would need to find a good place to save and come back to, so I could go to sleep.

I heard a small beep in my headphones. Hmm, that was odd. I had gotten a PM through the game. Maybe one of the other workers was online and checking through things. I didn't think I had missed anything, but it would be important read in case there was a flaw in the game.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Dude, heads up!

I squinted at the screen. I didn't recognize the username. That was impossible. I rubbed at my eyes. Was I so tired that I was seeing things?

I heard something else. Something banged. I whipped around. Had the Boss woken up? I wouldn't be able to sleep for a while if it did. I could tell this was going to be a pain. I was so tired.

From a small hole in the ceiling of the chamber, something marred with the light that shone in from the outside. What was that? It looked like a rocket. Holy shit, that was a rocket! Before I could do anything or figure out where it could have possibly come from, it hit me. I watched helplessly as my HP depleted. The screen went black.

I blinked and did a double take. My face reappeared on the screen as the system started up again. No way. This wasn't possible. Did I...did I die? But there weren't supposed to be other players until 11:11!

As soon as the home screen came up, I checked the stats. 0 players currently playing. That was normal. Had something with the system failed?

I checked my history. It had collected the data from my hours of playing. Something caught my eyes and breath. UltimateHeroEric killed SakurAssassin. The shot had been from over 100 miles and somehow managed to be critical. That was my one weakness. I had purposefully used my points to cover other areas. I hadn't known any player would could aim accurately from that far anyway. Yet, this UltimateHeroEric had managed to take me down in one shot.

I turned off the game and took my headphones off. I sat back in my chair and weaved my fingers in my hair. I couldn't handle this. It just wasn't registering. Maybe all the excitement was getting to me? Hopefully when I woke up in the afternoon, this would all be a bad dream.


	3. Friend Request

I woke up when the sun shone from the blinds on my window from the west side. The light hit my eyes. I blinked away the burning sensation. I sat up to get some relief. I could feel the blood rush from my head. I turned to the clock. 3 o'clock. I wish I could have slept more, but I was a bit hungry.

I slipped on my flower print silk kimono. I didn't bother to tie it up. I just let it flow behind me as I made my way to my kitchen. I opened my cupboards to look at the possibilities. Beef or chicken flavored ramen? I had the beef yesterday, so I better have chicken. A bit of variety was good every once in a while.

I brought a pot of water to a boil and dumped the packaged noodles into its bubbling contents. I let that cook while I went to my computer. I still couldn't quite believe what had happened earlier today. I opened up the game again. 102,768,594 players currently playing. My jaw nearly dropped. That many already? I heard the sizzle of water, so I rushed out to the kitchen. My ramen was done. I added the seasoning and a fork and brought the bowl with me to the computer.

I twirled the noodles around my fork as the game loaded up. It brought me to the starting point in America. I suppose that was the closest place to where I had died. The place was bustling now. Players covered basically every inch of the street. They were all trying to see whose stats were on top for the first day of game play. I heard a ding through my head phones.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Dude! There you are! I've been looking everywhere for you! Stay right there. I'm not too far from where you are.

I had to get out of here. I squeezed my way through the people. Several turned their head to see what had slightly altered them. At least my invisibility had been working properly. Then again, they shouldn't have felt me passing by. The fastest way out of the city would be cutting through the buildings. I ran and face planted into the wall. -2 HP.

**UltimateHeroEric**: LOL Dude, what was that? I totally saw that. Just what did you expect? It's not like the building was going to pick itself up and move itself out of your way.

I looked everywhere. I couldn't find my ghost walker. I just had it. Or at least, I had it the last time I played. The only place I could have dropped it was...oh no. The only place it could be was in the boss' chamber.

**UltimateHeroEric**:...I know you probably don't like me very much at the moment, but you could at least look at me when I'm trying to talk to you. :(

I turned around. There was a player with the indicator UltimateHeroEric floating over him. He had obviously chosen the cowboy character. His hat hung loosely from his neck. he was wearing jeans, boots, and a button up shirt and vest. He stood a little bit taller than me. His eyes were blue, and his hair was a dirty blond. I had almost forgotten how realistic people looked in the game. A giant gun was strapped to his back. I squinted at the weapon that brought me down and made me lose my precious item.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Look, I just wanted to say I'm sorry about earlier today. I didn't mean to kill you. It's just that I shot off my weapon, just for fun, you know? And it had somehow locked onto you. I'd totally understand if you wanted to kill me right here and now.

His character pixeled out of view as my ninja katana sliced through him. Another problem I had to figure out. A weapon that could lock on to someone's critical point from anywhere? There shouldn't be any player with a weapon that powerful... Plus, what kind of player apologizes for killing someone in a video game?

**UltimateHeroEric**: Touché, or whatever those French people say. You didn't have to kill me :(

**SakurAssassin**: You said I could. That aside, I have a few questions to ask you.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Oh, so you finally decided to talk to me. How do I know you're not just going to kill me again? O.o You seem to have a bit of a temper. You know, between killing me mercilessly just now and rage quitting earlier today.

That last comment confused me. No one ever in my life had ever said I had a temper. A couple even encouraged me to get angrier more often.

**SakurAssassin**: I'm sorry if I seemed angry at you. You did give me permission. I suppose it did make me feel a bit better. That was unacceptable. Please accept my apologies.

**UltimateHeroEric**: -.- I was just messing with you. I'll be over there in a sec. I've got a few questions, too.

After a moment, his character reappeared eagerly running towards me.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Ok, fire away! Just not literarily ;)

**SakurAssassin**: How did you get this game? Did something seem odd about it?

**UltimateHeroEric**:...well, that wasn't what I was expecting. My brother gave the game to me. I guess it was odd. It didn't come in the packaging like they have in the stores. Plus, my brother doesn't usually encourage my gaming. I thought he was just being apologetic for ditching me all the time.

I rubbed my fingers against my forehead. This had already come back to haunt me. I prayed it wasn't what I thought it was.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Alright, my turn for a question. How come we were the only ones playing this morning and then there are now all these players.

This question was easy enough

**SakurAssassin**: Because the game didn't officially start until 11:11.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Yeah, I know, but you'd think there'd be more people on trying to set up their character and all that. I mean I was only on about an hour earlier...

**SakurAssassin**: There were restrictions within the game to prevent any player from entering the game in any form until 11:11 western time. You were playing about four hours too early.

**UltimateHeroEric**:...so what does that mean? How come we were both able to play?

**SakurAssassin**: I believe you may have been given a pirated copy of the game. As for me, I'm afraid that information is confidential.

**UltimateHeroEric**: So you're like one of those super secret hidden employees that get paid to play the games? And I somehow managed to get one of those exclusive all access games? I guess that explains why you look kind of shiny.

I winced at how accurately he seemed to assess the situation.

**SakurAssassin**: It's a bit more complicated than that, but that's close enough. The shininess you see must be my invisibility. You're the only one who can see me because you were the last one to kill me. Do you happen to know where your brother had gotten the game?

**UltimateHeroEric**: Sorry, can't help you there :( Most of the time, I'm not quite sure what my brother does. He's got some big long title for his job, but for all I know, it could just be some fancy word for a stinkin pirate. I'm really sorry for all this. I could like send some money if you want me to actually pay for the game.

**SakurAssassin**: No, you don't have to do that. Just think of it as a gift from Nihonda Gaming to you for your cooperation. But let's just try to keep this between us. We wouldn't want people to think that this game has been hacked.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Right. Now I just have a few more little questions...WHAT IN THE WORLD IS UP WITH YOUR STATS!

My stats? Oh...right...

**UltimateHeroEric**: I've never seen a kill to death ratio that high. And I look back at all the games I've played, and you're at the top of every single one of them! Well, not officially. You have to look carefully at the numbers, but you beat the players who hold the number one spots!

**SakurAssassin**: I used to not have a kill/death ratio. You're the only one who has actually managed to kill me. I don't like the attention, so I keep myself off of the rating charts.

**UltimateHeroEric**:...okay. Well, I'm a horrible person. Feel free to kill me infinitely more times.

**SakurAssassin**: Really, it's fine. It doesn't really matter. Did you have any more questions?

**UltimateHeroEric**: Oh, yeah. I was looking at your profile, and I couldn't tell if you were a boy or a girl. I can't tell by looking at you, either.

**SakurAssassin**: That's confidential. It's not like it matters anyway. In this game, I am genderless. I really don't understand why people want to define others by their genders.

**UltimateHeroEric**: I can respect that. I'm cool either way. It doesn't matter if you're a guy or a girl. You're obviously a gamer, so that automatically opens up conversations that I'd never be able to have with people in real life. It also makes me automatically like you ;) Though, wouldn't it be neat if someone like Kiki Nihonda was a gamer. She's gorgeous XD

I rolled my eyes. Not another Kiki fanboy.

**SakurAssassin**: I don't understand why gamers are so obsessed with her. The opening obviously photoshopped her body. That's not really her. She's really not that big of a deal.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Don't say that about her :( You automatically assumed that I liked her because of the game opening. Sure she's smoking hot in that, but have you seen the tabloid pictures? The pictures where she isn't all messed with? She doesn't even try, and she's so pretty.

I touched my face. I could feel it growing warm. I don't know why this was affecting me so much. Lots of people told me I was pretty. I had just assumed that they thought I was pretty after the photoshop and the makeup. Yet, this random gamer I just met seemed so sincere.

**UltimateHeroEric**: She has so much pressure. It's kind of sad. I really hope the most recent article about her isn't true.

I rolled my eyes. Just what have they been saying about me now?

**SakurAssassin**: I wouldn't pay much attention to what the papers say. They are usually ridiculous lies.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Yeah, but this is the first time that they've said that's she's tried to commit suicide. And no one has seen her yet today, one of the most important days for the Nihonda company.

Oh...god...no. I pulled up a tab and quickly googled my name. The very first article that popped up was a picture of me running through my apartment lobby with a bottle of Advil in my hands. The article spewed some nonsense about me overdosing on the bottle I just bought.

**SakurAssassin**: Those reporters are idiots. I don't even think it's possible to overdose on just one bottle. And maybe we just doesn't want to go out because she knows that the reporters will just try to twist around something else.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Oh, I guess that does make sense. I hope she does decide to go out, though. Apparently, the Nihonda company is going to have a giant party tonight. You know, for selling over 100,000,000 copies of the game. It's supposed to be the party of the century. They are like super rich. What are people supposed to do with all that money anyway?

I groaned. How come no one ever tells me these things? I hated these parties. It was always so crowded. I was always expected to go and never got left alone. I checked the time. I still had some time before I had to be there.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Enough about Kiki. I could talk forever about her. There seems like there's so many things to do in this game. I don't know where to start.

**SakurAssassin**: America has a lot of options. You could shoot some aliens or beat up some super villains. Or you could try some of the other countries. But America seems more your style.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Cool. What are you planning to do? You know, being a hidden employee and all that. ;)

**SakurAssassin**: Everything. I've got to beat this game as soon as possible.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Really? Why?

**SakurAssassin**: Confidential

**UltimateHeroEric**: Right. Top secret and all that. You're like a secret agent or something. Hey! I have an idea! We should team up! If we worked together, you'd be able to beat it twice as fast!

**SakurAssassin**: I'm pretty sure it doesn't quite work like that...

**UltimateHeroEric**: Oh, come on! Please? It'll be fun, I promise!

I'd never teamed up with anybody before. Usually I just went around invisible and walked through walls to beat the game. I guess he was right about teaming up being faster. His stats weren't that bad. It's not like he'd be hindering me.

**SakurAssassin**: I guess it'll be alright...

**UltimateHeroEric**: YES! I'll send you the request now!

A little box popped up on the screen. "UltimateHeroEric would like to join your party. Would you like to accept?" I clicked the button allowing UltimateHeroEric to join me.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Alright! We better get started! Let's go shoot some aliens!

He started off towards the west to Roswell. The city currently under siege of aliens. I took a step following him.

"Kiki, I swear, if you don't crawl out of your hole, I'm going to break down the door and mess up all of your games!"

The sound didn't come from my headphones. I groaned.

**SakurAssassin**: I've got to go. Reality is yelling at me again.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Oh, that's cool. I can wait.

**SakurAssassin**: I have a feeling this is going to be a while.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Then hurry up, Sakur double ass in!

**SakurAssassin**:...Don't ever call me that again. I'm an assassin. I will not hesitate to kill you again.

There was a pounding on the door to my gaming room. I rolled my eyes. She couldn't be patient for just a minute. I logged off and slipped off my headphones and glasses. I had to abandon my virtual life for my real one.


	4. Pirates or Ninjas?

"You sure have some nerve showin' your face 'round these parts, ya yella bellied lizard."

"Kiki...stop...just stop." Charlie stood with her arms full in front of my doorway. She shook her head at me in disapproval of my bad and mismatching accent.

"Sorry...I guess I just have a cowboy stuck in my head. But seriously, I'm still rather upset with you." I closed the door to my game room behind me. Charlie handed a bag to me and went back to my living room.

"Tough. Now hurry up. I'm not going to let you go out to the party in a t-shirt and jeans like last time." She unzipped the bag she was holding revealing several dresses. "What should we dress you up in this time?"

"I mean it Charlie! I've already seen a gamer who had one of the games you stole from me." I sat cross legged on my couch as she went through the contents.

"Steal is a strong word," she said, holding up one of the dresses to the light.

"Does pirate sound any better? Pillage? Embezzle? Ransack? Kidnap? Plagiarize? I can go on."

"Alright Miss Thesaurus. I'm not a freakin English major. Ugh. I wince at the thought. How do you know he had a game that I may or may not have taken from you?"

"He was playing the game four hours too early. Plus, he had abilities that wouldn't be available to normal players. He obviously had some other version of my game."

"Well! What makes you so special from regular players? Honestly, I think this job has gone to your head..."

"Charlie, it's MY game! There are reasons my version hasn't gone out to the public."

"Yeah, because you're such a spoil sport."

"You seem to have a complete disregard for consequences. Not all players would use the special abilities responsibly. You don't seem to know what complete assholes gamers can be."

"And you don't seem to understand that it's just a game, Kiki. Let people do what they want. Games are supposed to be fun!"

We were silent for a bit. This was always where we came to an impasse.

Charlie had a huge smile on her face. "So this guy who has your game...is he cute?"

I rolled my eyes. "This is VIRTUAL reality, Charlie. The characters in the game don't reflect who you are in real life." Though, you technically could make one up to look like yourself. Who knows if the UltimateHeroEric had done that.

"I'll take that as a yes. He wasn't one of these asshole gamers, was he?"

"Well, no...but he did kill me."

"Oh, is this why you're so upset? You're sore because you managed to find someone who was more obsessed with these games than you and managed to beat you?" she teased.

"No, he happened to have a weapon that was way too powerful for any player to have. A weapon that no one should have had in the first place," I said pointedly.

"I don't see what's so bad. Sure, what I had done may not be entirely legal, but now you know this cute gamer who isn't an asshole! And he's actually good at the games if he managed to get you, special weapon or no. You should go out with him."

"Charlie, you don't know how entirely creepy that would be to hook up with someone you literally just met over a video game. Plus, I don't know anything about him."

"Plenty of time to learn! Except tonight. You're my hot date tonight!" She held up a sparkling white dress up to show me. She wriggled the hanger believing somehow by doing this she could convince me to wear it.

I considered it a bit. I suppose it could be a lot worse. It wasn't too revealing. A bit too modest by her tastes. Still, it wouldn't be horrible to wear. Charlie was getting better at picking out clothes for me. She claimed to be friends with this French designer, but I suspected she was just ripping off of someone else.

She squealed when I nodded my head wearily in approval. She yanked me by my wrists and stripped me down so she could remake me like some doll.

* * *

The dark tinted windows of the limousine didn't discourage the photographers in the slightest. Each one wanted to get the first moments of whatever A-list guest was invited to my father's company party.

I had to look at this logically. Like a video game. There was only a red strip for me to maneuver around. Other guests traversed towards my destination, meaning I'd have to weave in and out of them. Not to mention I had a few handicaps. I licked my lips in concentration.

"Kiki! You're going to ruin your makeup!" Charlie chided. She grabbed my chin, lipstick tube already in hand. She layered on more of the bright red, slick, icky goo.

She was wearing a red Chinese dress with gold accents with slits that went all the way up. She slipped the tube into her matching handbag and adjusted the deep set neckline, trying to accentuate the cleavage she wanted people to believe she had.

She stuck her tongue out at me. I returned my gaze to the window.

"Alright, let's do this," I said as I opened up the limo door.

I kept my eyes down. My feet blended in with the carpet. One wrong step and my red four inch heels would send me plummeting into a face plant. I practically had to drag Charlie with me. Several people called out my name. I ignored them all. If they really wanted to talk to me so bad, they would just have to wait until I was inside and away from all of the reporters.

"Kiki...would you slow down!" Charlie said amongst the hum of voices.

I shook my head, careful not to expose my face to either side of the paparazzi. My feet walked in a squiggled line.

"Kiki watch out!"

I stopped just in time to avoid walking into the closed door. I could feel my face flushing pink. I calmly sidestepped to walk through the open door held by the doorman.

"Seriously, Kiki, do you have to do that every damn time?" she said once we were inside. She yanked her and from mine, rubbing the sore tender spot from my grip.

"Sorry, Charlie," I said. I was slightly out of breath.

"Whatever," she said. She left me and went further in to the thrall of the party.

Charlie was in her element at parties. She always insisted on coming whenever my dad threw one of these parties. She easily talked to and schmooze over anyone. It didn't matter who or how important they were. I, on the other hand, was rather awkward. I didn't like being around all these people I had never met. I made my way to the punch table to grab a clear glass of the red bubbly liquid. I nodded to a few of my old professors as I skirted around the edge of the party to sit at one of the tables.

I sighed in relief as I sat down in one of the cushiony chairs. My feet were killing me. I definitely needed to break in these heels before I had run across the red carpet. I hid my feet under the white table cloth and slipped off my red shoes. I probably had blisters already. Why couldn't I just have worn flats?

I flinched when I felt a hand on my shoulder. I wasn't used to people touching me. Especially people I didn't know.

"Whoa, no need to be so jumpy," came a smooth voice. The voice belonged to this young man in a tuxedo. His hair was slicked back, and he had a cheeky grin on his face. "Now, why is a pretty girl like you sitting all the way over here by yourself? You should come dance with me."

It's not like I couldn't dance. My feet were just hurting so much. I shook my head. "I'm not quite sure that this venture will be well received at this time," I said politely.

"Okay...then how about I get you a drink?"

I held my glass of punch up for him to see. "Thank you, but my drink is already accounted for. I see no need for another one at the present."

He chuckled softly to himself and looked up at the ceiling. He lifted his hands up in surrender. "You know what? I tried. Have fun being alone!"

After that, he walked away. I was relieved. He was able to see how I'd prefer to be by myself. I sipped on my punch. I was surprised that all that lipstick didn't come off. It would be a pain to take off later.

Something across the great room caught my eye. Charlie was staring daggers in my direction. She looked absolutely furious. Her arms were crossed. When she noticed that she had my attention, she shook her head at me.

I raised my shoulders apologetically and pointed towards my feet. She rolled her eyes and turned her head from me.

The party went on for several more hours. I just sat in my chair thinking about strategy. With UltimateHeroEric around, it would be a little bit harder to get through the game. Still, with a team this small, it wouldn't be unmanageable. And it would be helpful to have someone else around. Especially for the upper level bosses.

I practically jumped out of my seat when a loud voice came through the speakers. I hadn't noticed that all the guests had found their way to the tables. A few even sat in mine. I don't see why anyone else would want to sit here. I had a horrible view of the stage. I clapped politely with the rest of the applause.

"Thank you all for joining us this evening! No words can describe how happy the Nihonda company and family are happy that you're here with us on this very special night!"

I recognized the voice of my father. I couldn't see him, but I could just imagine him up on stage. He'd have to adjust the microphone to accommodate his short stature. The cameras would have to pan to the right angle so that the only thing in their shot wasn't his slightly balding head.

"It such an honor to be before you tonight. Here to celebrate the Nihonda company selling over 100,000,000 games of World of Warfare III within the first 24 hours of its release. There's no way we could accomplish this feat without all of your support."

Another courtesy round of applause.

"Now, within the company, there is someone who made all of this possible. Someone who's life has been devoted to making Nihonda games the best ever. I have never met anyone with more creativity and skill than this individual. The company would not be the same without them."

Oh no. Oh no oh no oh no oh no. This was turning in the wrong direction fast. I sank lower in my chair.

"That's why I would like to present this MVP award to Nihonda's Lead Gaming Designer, Kiku Honda!"

Several loud cheers filled the room. Everyone looked around for the mystery man of the hour. I was frozen still. What in the world was he thinking?

"Like I said, I would like to present this award to him, but unfortunately, Mr. Honda was not able to join us this evening. Instead, I would like my daughter Kiki Nihonda to accept it in his place!"

That little...I had thought I had somehow gotten out of this. Spotlight found its way towards me. The light was worse because it bounced off my dress to my face. Everyone was looking at me. The cheers were louder than before because I was actually present. I muttered under my breath as I smiled and slipped my shoes back on. I tried not to look at anyone as I made the long trek over to the stage. I carefully climbed up the steps and joined my father. He gave me a hug as he handed the trophy to me. He was a bit shorter than I was, so I had to lean down.

"What was all that about? You know I don't like being the center of attention," I whispered just for him to hear.

"I hardly get to see you anymore since you moved out. I miss you. Is it so wrong for a father to want to spend quality time with his only child?" he whispered back.

"Just...text me next time, okay?" I whispered as we parted. He indicated for me to take the mic and say a few words.

I bowed politely to the audience. "Thank you all for being here. I'm sure Kiku will be honored to receive this award. It really is a shame that he couldn't be here tonight and partake in this warm generosity. On behalf of my father, I would be more than happy to present this to him when..."

I was interrupted by the flash of cameras. The reporters had managed to find their way in front of the stage. The flash of the bulbs were disorienting. I looked to the side. They were blocking my exit.

"Wait, Kiki!" "Miss Nihonda!" "If we could only have a moment of your time..." "Are you on familiar terms with Mr. Honda?"

"I really don't think now is the time for these questions. I hope you all enjoy the rest of the evening," I said, trying to find the words that would let me escape.

"Kiki, if you'd just please answer one question." A reporter's voice rose above the others. "I'm here on behalf of the Internet community, and there is one question that your fans would like to know. It will only take a moment of your time."

My Internet fans had all decided on one question? Somehow that reminded me of UltimateHeroEric. It was crazy how much they adored me. I don't see why they would, but I must have given them a pretty scary time these past few hours. I suppose this was the least I could do. I nodded for the reporter to proceed.

The reporters' mutterings got softer. This was certainly out of character for me. Usually I didn't answer any of their questions. The reporter took a deep breath, knowing the gravity of this situation, preparing to ask me his single important question.

"What the Internet would most like to know is: pirates or ninjas?"

I was certainly surprised by the question. The most pressing question on the Internet was whether I liked pirates or ninjas? A small laugh escaped my lips. I guess it certainly was an interesting question. I wasn't too fond of pirates at the moment. I played a ninja, but a ninja would never admit to be being a ninja. UltimateHeroEric would get a kick out of this...

I smiled warmly at the reporter. Several cameras flashed to record this rare moment. "Neither. I like cowboys!"


	5. Asl?

It was late by the time I got back to my apartment. I sighed as I slid my key into the lock. It unlocked easily, and I stepped through my front door. I couldn't see anything, so I flipped the light switch.

My home was a lot quieter without Charlie here. She had grabbed her stuff from my living room before I could get back. Reporters and paparazzi had held me up at the party for a while. I went back to my room and carefully took off the dress. I hung it up and found my favorite pair of cotton shorts. I put on a mismatching t-shirt and made my way back out to the kitchen.

Despite all the food they had at the party, I was a little hungry. They were a bunch of strange, fancy foods that my father and the other higher ups enjoyed. I wasn't really in the mood to try something different than my usual. I opened the door to my refrigerator though I knew my choices were going to be pretty slim. I desperately needed to go out for groceries.

To my surprise, there was a package in there. Sushi by the looks of it. There was a note attached:

"Apology sushi as promised :)"

Next to the sushi there was another package. Salted salmon. My favorite. I smiled and chuckled a bit too myself. Charlie could be misguided at times, but she could also be a pretty good friend when it counted. The salmon would be a nice treat for tomorrow. Or later today. I wasn't quite sure what time it was.

Well, as long as I was up, I might as well get some work done. I walked back to my computer room, sushi in tow. I slipped on my glasses and headphones as I brought the screen back to life. Wow, it was already 2 am. Let's see, I could finish up the concepts for the next game or...

My curser hovered the icon for WWIII. I might as well start cleaning up this mess before I went on to anything else. The familiar opening sequence popped up, leaving me at my last save point.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Dude, you're back!

I was stunned. I hadn't expected to hear the ding of a message this early.

**SakurAssassin**: What...Why are you here?

**UltimateHeroEric**: We're partners, aren't we? I'm not the sort of person who'd leave you behind.

**SakurAssassin**: Did you wait for me this whole time? I thought I told you it would be a while.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Yeah, I hadn't really expected it to take THAT long. I seriously need to catch some Zs. School starts in just a few hours. Won't have to deal with that much longer, thank God.

So...what? He was a senior in high school? That made him just a bit younger than me. It could have been worse. I could be teammates with a twelve year old brat or some pervy old guy.

**SakurAssassin**: You should be asleep.

**UltimateHeroEric**: So should you, sassy pants :P I'm pretty sure it's too damn early anywhere in the world. I'm basically running on four cups of coffee and a Redbull. Anyway, I think I should be back around 3:15. Eastern time. The time that normal people run on. We should regroup then. Laterz!

UltimateHeroEric logged off.

I guess he did have a point. This was a bit late to be staying up. I had been keeping sort of weird hours because of all the game hype, so I hadn't really noticed. I logged off the game and turned off my computer for the night. I slipped off my headphones and placed them next to my now folded glasses. I picked up the ramen bowl from lunch and brought it and the remainder of my sushi back to the kitchen.

I placed the bowl in the sink as I put the sushi in the refrigerator next to the salmon. I looked back to the sink. And sighed. I might as well clean it now. I wasn't going to want to wash it tomorrow either.

I filled up the sink with warm, soapy water and sloshed the bowl around. I thought, as was scrubbing the bowl, that I was actually sort of looking forward to tomorrow. It might be pretty fun to play my game with UltimateHeroEric. He seemed to be pretty enthusiastic about the things he liked. I was surprised UltimateHeroEric hadn't said anything about Kiki.

I left the bowl to dry and headed back to the bathroom to take a shower. Maybe I was just being vain. I stripped out of my clothes yet again. I mean, the tabloids might not have published anything that fast. The water was hot as it ran through my jet black hair and down my body. Steam billowed out over the curtain. I lathered the shampoo in my hands and ran my fingers through my hair. And who's to say UltimateHeroEric would have had the chance to read it anyway?

I quickly wrapped the towel around me when I stepped out. The stark difference in air temperature was uncomfortable to say the least. I wiped the clouded mirror, so I could at least look at myself as I combed my long hair straight.

Why was this getting to me so much? The meticulous brushing of my teeth helped calm me and straighten out my mind from its jumbled mess. UltimateHeroEric was just like every other player. There was nothing special about him. He probably talked like that to every gamer he met online. What did I care what he thought of the real me which wasn't the me he thought I was? I spit into the basin.

I was getting too worked up about this. This was my first team. I was probably over analyzing this. Tomorrow would be like any other day. I slipped my clothes back on and made my way through the dark apartment to my bed.

I flopped down on my pillows. I lay sprawled like that on top of my covers but eventually scrunched up and dove under my blankets. I let sleep take my unwarranted worries away.

* * *

The clock said 11:30 when I woke up. I didn't want to move. I always slept rough after one of these parties. I eventually did roll out of bed. There were people who actually expected me to do something today. I caught a glance of myself in the mirror. My hair had dried weird. Half of it clung to my face and didn't have the courtesy to stay out of my eyes and mouth. Ponytail day it was.

I pulled my hair through the twisted loop. I slipped on my silk kimono robe and practically skipped out to the kitchen. Since I woke up before noon today, it was only appropriate that I reward myself with some salted salmon. I placed a pan on the stove and put a few pieces of the fish on. My mouth watered as I heard the salmon sizzle in its natural oil. Just a bit longer until I would be able to taste the salty tender heaven.

I eagerly transferred the cooked salmon to my plate. The clock on the microwave said 12:15. I wracked my brains. Was I supposed to be doing something right now?

Oh crap, World of Warfare! I grabbed my plate and ran to my computer room. I stuffed a piece of fish in my mouth as I waited for the computer to reboot. Hot. Hot. Too hot. I ran back to the kitchen to grab a glass of water. I gulped about half of the glass there by the sink.

When I came back, my computer was all warmed up and ready to go. I clicked on the game icon and took another smaller bite of fish. I should really do something about that opening sequence so I wouldn't have to see that face all the time.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Hey! I'm so sorry I was late!

His character had materialized in the game right after mine. The clock said 12:17. He wasn't late by that much.

**SakurAssassin**: It's alright. I just got here, too.

**UltimateHeroEric**: You wouldn't believe all the new news about Kiki!

I sighed. I had been expecting this. In a way, I was a bit relieved. I didn't really understand why.

**SakurAssassin**: Oh really? So she didn't die. How surprising.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Ha ha, but really. She went to that party last night lookin smokin hot as always. And get this! She actually answered a question.

**SakurAssassin**: So what? I heard it was just one question.

**UltimateHeroEric**: But she like never does that! Ever! You can tell a lot of a person from the right question. And this was the perfect question!

**SakurAssassin**: Perfect Question?

**UltimateHeroEric**: Pirates or ninjas? Sorry, dude, but she went with cowboys :)

**SakurAssassin**: That wasn't one of the options. Why cowboys?

**UltimateHeroEric**: No woman can resist a cowboy. Not even Kiki. Everybody knows that :) Oh, and you should have seen the way she smiled when she answered. That picture has been trending ever since. I set it for all of my backgrounds. Better than the opening I think.

Not another picture of me floating around. I wondered if I had just made matters worse.

**UltimateHeroEric**: So let's get started! What all do we have to do before we can meet the final boss?

**SakurAssassin**: As you know, there are 8 major countries. There are several "bosses" of some sort in each of them. You have to beat two bosses in every country in order to get enough credits to open the door to the boss chamber.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Okay, so this alien thing has some sort of boss?

**SakurAssassin**: Yeah, we should probably get going so we can beat the game before the other players figure it out.

I started running toward Roswell and UltimateHeroEric followed after.

**UltimateHeroEric**: My name is Eric Freeman. I'm 18 years old. Male obviously. I'm not actually a hero. Yet. I live in New York City. I practically inhale hamburgers. It's my absolute favorite thing to eat. And French fries. And milkshakes. But I'm not fat! I work out. Sometimes. You already know I'm obsessed with video games and Kiki Nihonda.

**SakurAssassin**: What was that all about?

**UltimateHeroEric**: Just thought since we were going to work together to bring down this alien thing, we should know a bit more about each other first. You know, so we can figure out each other's strategy. Like a team building excercise.

**SakurAssassin**: Like a trust fall?

**UltimateHeroEric**: Yeah, only not lame. What about you? Got anything you want to tell me?

**SakurAssassin**: You should really be careful what kind of information you put on the Internet.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Whatevs. I can trust you :) asl?

**SakurAssassin**: Confidential, confidential, and confidential

**UltimateHeroEric**: Oh, come on! I've got to work with something here! Can't you at least tell me your favorite food?

**SakurAssassin**: ...salmon. I like to eat salted salmon.

**UltimateHeroEric**: That's a start :) Is that like a kind of sushi?

**SakurAssassin**: Sort of. I like sushi a lot, too. And ramen

**UltimateHeroEric**: I take it you like Asian food. And you're like super smart or something.

**SakurAssassin**: ...that's a stereotype.

**UltimateHeroEric**: I never said you were Asian :) You're bound to be a genius if you're working for Nihonda gaming. You probably live over there, too. In LA or wherever they've got their center. See, I've got super rad deduction skills.

He was getting too close.

**SakurAssassin**: I actually do my work from the Internet. I could be anywhere in the world and still do my job.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Darn! I tried! How long is it going to take us to get there? We've been running for a while. Isn't there a faster way?

**SakurAssassin**: Yeah, but we don't have the money to use transportation yet.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Couldn't you use your super ninja hacking skills to give us a joy ride or something?

**SakurAssassin**: That would be cheating. I'm not going to hack my way through this. If that's why you wanted to team up with me, you might as well leave now.

**UltimateHeroEric**: No! I'm cool with running. It's kind of fun, sassy pants.

**SakurAssassin**: Please stop calling me that.

**UltimateHeroEric**: But it's fun! And much quicker than writing SakurAssassin out all the time. You should give me a nickname, too. You can call me ultimate, or Mr. Hero, or just combine my name to get heroic!

He did have sort of a point. His name was rather long to type out. Though I didn't really see why we had to give each other names when we just PMed each other back and forth.

**SakurAssassin**: How about I just call you Eric. That is your name after all.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Sure, but since you won't tell me your real name, I'll just stick with sassy pants :P

There was no reasoning with him. And it was better than the alternative, I supposed. For the rest of the journey to Roswell, we mostly talked about our favorite games. We actually had a lot in common. I guess that was to be expected since we played a lot of the same games.

We reached Roswell before long and stayed just outside the city. We decided to kill some of the wild coyotes to gain some experience before we went to tackle the aliens. Eric's character took the giant gun off his back and aimed it at a coyote in the distance.

**SakurAssassin**: What are you doing?

**UltimateHeroEric**: I was going to shoot it. What's the problem?

**SakurAssassin**: You shouldn't use that. We're not quite sure what it's capable of. For all we know, that rocket could just swing around and hit me again. Plus, it's a bit overkill.

**UltimateHeroEric**: I do sort of see your point...

He strapped the gun back on his back.

**SakurAssassin**: Didn't you receive some other sort of weapon in the start?

Eric's character pulled a pair of revolvers out of the holsters at his waist.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Yeah, but the other one's cooler

He pointed his guns at the coyote. It took two shots before the creature went down. Eric's XP rose and he gained another level.

**UltimateHeroEric**: I think I'm going to peace out early. I really need my sleep tonight. Meet you here at the same time?

I checked the time. It was only 7 o'clock here, but there it would be 10. Plus he pulled that all-nighter last night because of me.

**SakurAssassin**: Go to sleep, Eric.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Make me :P Good night, sassy pants!

UltimateHeroEric logged off.

I needed to use this time to get some work done. I shouldn't have put it off for this long. Apparently, I had a bunch of unread emails. Thankfully, most of them were not work related and didn't require immediate response. The majority of them were just congratulating me on another success and complimenting me from last night. I gave them all short, polite responses back and deleted their messages from my inbox.

I'd have to remember to do all my work in the morning tomorrow. I yawned. Tomorrow would be a busy day. I might as well get some rest, too. Life could get pretty demanding when you have to be three people.


	6. Double Hidden Easter Egg

**SakurAssassin**: Now, there are several ways we can beat this boss.

We were semi crouched on the outskirts of the city. We were close enough that we could hear the cries of the NPCs, but far enough away that the aliens couldn't sense us and start attacking. I could tell Eric was getting antsy to go rescue them.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Good! It should be a piece of cake then! Let's go!

**SakurAssassin**: Just hold on a moment! In order to actually get to the boss, there is a set of certain requirements that must be met. If we mess those up, we could be in a lot of trouble.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Oh, I'm sure we can handle it. Now let's go and kick some alien ass, sassy pants!

Before I could type him to stop, Eric ran guns blazing into Roswell. The aliens swarmed around him, happy to find a player target. He shot them left and right.

I had no choice. I had to run in after him. This wasn't the sort of thing you were supposed to run in alone. Unless you could be invisible like me. I followed them to the heart of the city. The sun beat down in the town square. I tried to lessen the crowd around Eric. The aliens didn't notice that their comrades were being killed on the edges of their mob. The dust rose, making my presence even less known

This wasn't working. The aliens were closing in on Eric. They were now starting to get to his HP. It was almost halfway gone. I pushed my way though the alien mess to the center. I grabbed Eric by the collar and made a path for us out of there by throwing my ninja stars into the alien's foreheads. Eric covered us from behind.

We needed a place to hide and regroup. Eric obviously hadn't listened to me before. Most of the buildings in Roswell were abandoned by the NPCs. I found an old beaten up shop and forced Eric in there. I quickly barricaded the doors and windows. It wouldn't hold for long, but it would at least give us some time before the invasion could get to us.

**UltimateHeroEric**: That was so unbelievably awesome! We were making a killing out there! Why did you stop me?

I broke open a nearby crate. Jackpot. I knew there were some potions to restore HP somewhere around here. I threw one at Eric. I put the rest into storage.

**SakurAssassin**: Did you even read what I said? We have to go through this carefully. If you continue like that, they'll send in the second armada. You'll run out of ammo, and we'll be royally screwed and dead.

I broke open another crate. It had bullets. My hopes were dashed when I realized that they weren't the right caliber for Eric's weapon. I moved on to the next box. We needed to find anything we could salvage if we were going back out into the horde to face the boss.

It was a while before Eric responded. I eventually found a box with the appropriate bullets. I threw it to him, and he stocked it in his inventory.

**UltimateHeroEric**: So what do we do? How do we get to the boss?

I had no time to finish typing out my response. The alien invasion broke through the simple wood I used to block them out. Eric ran towards them as per his usual. He didn't aim vitally this time. He shot their knees, rendering them incapable of moving. He managed to force his way back outside.

I crawled over their still alive bodies. It was the same as before. They still swarmed around Eric, only he wasn't killing them this time. His HP went lower and lower as he was unable to defend himself to their programmed killing.

I had no choice. I deactivated my invisibility. Before the alien's could sense my sudden and new presence, I flipped over all of them to their center. Faster than a blink, I drew my katana and slaughtered the seven or thirteen immediately surrounding Eric and me. A few brave ones tried to come after me, but my two throwing knives burrowed into their foreheads.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Dude, that was all badass, amazing, and everything, but didn't you say not to kill them? Won't they call for backup now? I don't know how much longer I can last.

That was the point. Eric wouldn't last much longer, but I had accomplished my goal. The aliens temporarily stopped attacking. They couldn't comprehend what to do because I was clearly out of their league. They were no match for me. Attacking at this point would only ensure their death.

I put my sword back in my sheath. I double clicked on my character, allowing for what I would type next to be visible to all, friend and foe alike, to unlock the hidden Easter egg.

**SakurAssassin**: Take us to your leader.

* * *

The aliens had us tied up and teleported somewhere. Their ship was metal and cold. I could see the breath of my character as I breathed in and out. I could hear the reverberation as our heavy feet clunked down the narrowing hallway.

**UltimateHeroEric**: So THAT'S how we're supposed to get to the boss. I should have thought of that line earlier. That's what you're supposed to say in the movies anyway. Where exactly are we? Is this the mother ship?!

**SakurAssassin**: This is not the way we were supposed to meet the boss. The boss was supposed to come out after a certain amount of time at a certain rate that we killed his minions. We exceeded that far too early in our counter attack. The second and third armada's were supposed to help lower the rate, but we simply didn't have the time or ammunition to wait any longer. And yes. This is their mother ship.

We came to the end of the hall. Our alien guards removed the bonds from our hands, allowing us the mobility of our arms again. They shoved us into the room and closed the door back behind us.

The room was pitch black. Lights on the walls slowly blinked on starting from the end of the room we were in. Each came on with a loud bang, building up suspense.

The boss was revealed on the other side of the room. He wasn't a typical boss. Then again, none of the bosses in my game could ever be considered a typical boss. He wasn't large and intimidating. Even for his race of alien, he was rather short. His skin was a sallow gray. It looked clammy. His eyes were large and black, sensitive to the smallest detail. There was a certain air about him, though. He was alien royalty. He sat on a chair like it was a throne in front of a control panel that also blinked to life. He ignored their rainbow glittering effect.

He levitated himself up and off of his chair. He walked toward us. The sound of his feet barely made a sound. He stopped a few feet ahead of us. He simply raised one arm.

**SakurAssassin**: You're going to have to be very careful. He attacks using psychic powers.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Wha

He must have pressed enter when he ducked. After the alien boss's hand began to glow, a force of some psychic air attack was aimed right at Eric's head. He was barely able to duck down in time.

Right, one blow probably would have killed him. We never had time to replenish his HP. I rolled him a few potions and went to distract the boss.

While Eric drank, I ran towards the alien boss, cleanly dodging the attacks he sent my way. Any ninja stars I thew at him skirted around his psychic forcefield barrier. My attacks would have to be up close and personal.

I penetrated his forcefield. My HP started to drip away. My movements became slower. I'd have to make this quick and efficient. I could no longer dodge his attacks. He kept bombarding me, hoping he could kill me before I could launch my attack. I grabbed my sword from its sheath and stabbed him through the chest.

The psychic forcefield blinked on and off. I stepped out of its boundaries.

**UltimateHeroEric**: We did it!

I couldn't move my hands. I couldn't remove my weapon from his chest. I couldn't grab any of my weapons.

**SakurAssassin**: This isn't over yet. He has two hearts.

The alien king psychically removed the sword from his chest. The blood from that circulatory system drained out. His mind twisted the blade around and threw it far from me.

I could only run. I'd have to trust Eric with the rest. I could only kick the guy, and that wouldn't do much.

Two gunshots here fired. One bullet bounced harmlessly off the forcefield, the other clipped the alien's shoulder between blinks.

**UltimateHeroEric**: We come in peace.

That message wasn't just for me. The alien king could see it, too.

"Peace?" he muttered out in our unfamiliar language. Unlike our messages, his could be heard. His could be feared in ways our typed messages could never be seen. "I see no gesture of peace here. I sense your worthless species has no comprehension of the word. We come seeking solace, and you attack my people. Slaughter our children. Our blood pools out on your streets. And you dare to ask for our peace? No. No, I'm afraid the time for peace has passed, pitiful human."

Eric certainly hadn't expected the boss to suddenly talk to us after so much silence. I was just stunned that this path had been opened up so early in the gameplay.

The alien's chest began to glow. The boss's ultimate attack was forming. Eric didn't have much time left. He used the rest of his ammo shooting into the source of light at the alien's chest.

The alien body flinched with each bullet. His body fell to the ground. His chest still glowed. A throbbing red heart levitated up out of the light. Eric walked closer.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Did we win? Is he dead? What is that thing?

Before I could respond, Eric touched the heart. The heart flew into his chest, causing him to glow as well. The light immediately started to fade.

**UltimateHeroEric**: What the hell...

The body of the alien boss began to twitch. His fingers started to move. He slowly pushed himself up off the floor.

Eric boot went through the alien's head. He stomped again and again, but nothing happened. The alien boss was perfectly fine, immune to any of Eric's attack. His body was already mended.

**UltimateHeroEric**: WTF? Why isn't he dead? There must be some sort of glitch.

The alien boss seemed to smile. "Is there anything you need, boss?" His voice was much different. It no longer held the authority of a king.

**SakurAssassin**: Glitch, no. Double hidden Easter egg, yes. You, sir, have just captured the heart of the alien king.


	7. Game Playback

**UltimateHeroEric**: But...I thought the whole "capturing hearts" thing was for, you know, the romance part. Oh no! DON'T TELL ME I SEDUCED THE ALIEN KING! DX

**SakurAssassin**: I wouldn't exactly put it that way, but you did capture his heart. He's all yours now.

**UltimateHeroEric**: How is this even possible? He can't be my...whatever! He's a boss!

**SakurAssassin**: Not anymore, he's not. His number one purpose now is to do whatever you tell him to do. Never expected anyone to unlock him so soon.

I made my way over to where our little alien friend had thrown my sword. I picked it up. He had pretty much tied it up in a giant not. Shame. I had really liked this one, too. I gave one last farewell to my faithful friend before I removed it from my inventory. It might take me a while to find one as good as that one.

**UltimateHeroEric**: So...I can make him do whatever I want?

**SakurAssassin**: Within his abilities. I'll have to make some sort of replacement for him. It was sort of my fault that the boss was taken this early. I technically got you through the first half. BRB

I went back down the hallway that the aliens had lead us through. They weren't as unfriendly to us as they were before. Now that we had defeated and captured the heart of their boss, they had to obey us as well. They pointed me to the direction of the exit.

I stepped outside. It didn't look like we were too terribly far from Roswell. The space ship was in the middle of some sort of cowfield. I looked back at the ship. I had almost forgotten how small it was. The space ship for the whole alien army wasn't any larger than say a compact car. It was so much bigger on the inside.

I had to go outside in order to save the game. The alien spaceship was one of the few places that you couldn't save from. I signed out of gameplay.

To most people, the actual programming was just a bunch of gibberish. Like somebody had just slammed their head into the keyboard a few too many times. That was a good thing. It kept too many people from messing with my game. My eyes flicked past the flickering numbers and letters. Things were constantly changing with so many people playing at the same time.

I scrolled to the section that had the alien boss. Unlike everything else, this part was frozen in place. Inaccessible. I highlighted the area and typed in the letters and numbers to change how to beat the boss of Roswell. To change who the boss actually was.

I entered and saved the new information. I waited a bit to make sure that the numbers and letters eventually moved. My order had been accepted. It should be apparent for the rest of the gameplay in just a bit. I clicked out of the programming program.

When I reentered the game, I was a bit confused. Was this really where I last saved? It may have been the same field. The cows were still chewing on the long grass. However, the alien spaceship was gone. I thought back to what I had typed in. I'm pretty sure that it shouldn't have affected where the mother ship was.

**SakurAssassin**: Eric, where are you?

**UltimateHeroEric**: Still in the spaceship. Why?

**UltimateHeroEric**: Oh shit! Right! I'll tell him to take us back to where you are.

The spaceship reappeared quick as a blink to where I had last seen it. The cows had the decency to look surprised. I few mooed loudly. I smiled to myself. This really was a great game if even the cows could react properly to mysterious phenomenon.

The door to the ship opened up and Eric stumbled out. He was followed by a few rolling wrapped up hamburgers.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Sorry 'bout that, sassy pants.

**SakurAssassin**: Where were you? And what's with all the hamburgers?

**UltimateHeroEric**: Dude, Tony's like amazing! He got me all this food, and he showed me how we can go practically anywhere!

**SakurAssassin**: Tony?

**UltimateHeroEric**: Yeah, I named the alien boss Tony. He just looked like one, you know? Anyway, I was seeing what he could do, so I asked for a burger and he brought me one! I was stunned, so I was like, do it again! The next thing. I knew the whole ship was filled with burgers! I can't actually taste them, but you can just tell that they're delicious. Then, we went back to his home planet and shared some with the dudes there. I totally didn't mean to ditch you here. So how did it go? Who's the new boss?

**SakurAssassin**: It was a fairly simple change to make. To beat the "boss" you just have to beat all of the alien armadas now. But you do realize that your friend Tony stole all of those burgers.

**UltimateHeroEric**: What? No! Tony would never do something like that.

**SakurAssassin**: Think about it. Tony doesn't have any money. He couldn't have even made them for you without something.

**UltimateHeroEric**: But I thought he could only do things within his capabilities! If he didn't have the money or whatever, he shouldn't have been able to get me the burgers.

**SakurAssassin**: Stealing is in his capabilities. You've got to remember, he's an evil alien boss. Being a criminal isn't anything new to him.

**UltimateHeroEric**: ...I am so sorry! Despite what you might thing given my most recent track record, I'm really not a criminal. I swear, all of this stolen stuff is just given to me! Why do people just want to give me stuff!

**UltimateHeroEric**: Tony! Put these burgers back where you found them!

"Yes, sir!" Tony said, offering his master Eric a salute. After a moment, he disappeared with the food.

**UltimateHeroEric**: But at least Tony can take us places! We won't have to spend any time traveling.

**SakurAssassin**: We can only go places that we've been before, but yes, we will save a lot of time when we get back to New York. We can get a hero job there and defeat that crime syndicate boss. I've also got to see if there's any decent swords up for sale.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Cool, as soon as Tony comes back, we'll head back over there.

As if he was summoned, Tony reappeared in front of us. Obviously, not all of the burgers had made it back since they had been eaten. I hoped the NPCs of Roswell didn't mind too much. I mean, we did just temporarily rescue their town from an alien invasion. Until at least, the aliens regrouped and started their siege over again, but in full force this time.

I followed Eric as he hurriedly got back on the ship. He ran about like he was some sort of kid in an amusement park.

**UltimateHeroEric**: You've got to watch this, sassy pants! It's so cool!

**UltimateHeroEric**: Tony, take us to good ole New York, New York!

Tony held one of his alien thumbs up. "Okay boss!" Soon we were whirling out of the rural west and into the bustling hub of the center of New York.

* * *

I pinched the bridge of my nose. I could only imagine the commotion this would have caused. I double checked to make sure my invisibility was back on.

Before I could warn Eric, he opened the door of the ship. We were immediately met by a crowd of gamers.

**UltimateHeroEric**: What the...my PM box is exploding! Seriously! I'm pretty sure my computer is going to spontaneous combust at any moment.

**SakurAssassin**: Well, that's what happens when you land a UFO in the middle of a giant metropolis. You might want to tell Tony to park it a bit outside of the city next time.

**UltimateHeroEric**: No shit! You are so lucky you're invisible right now. Do you have any idea how annoying it is to have people constantly in your face?

He had no idea. Of course, I couldn't tell him any of this.

**UltimateHeroEric**: NO, NONE OF YOU CAN HAVE A RIDE AND ARE NOT GOING TO BE PART OF MY TEAM! Tony, take it away! I'll message you when I need you, buddy.

The message had been sent to everyone in the immediate area. And just like that, the ship disappeared. The crowd stopped centering around us and morphed back into a regular busy bustling street.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Never doing that again. It'll take forever to delete all of those messages :(

**SakurAssassin**: Don't worry. They'll forget about you eventually as long as you don't keep bringing attention to yourself.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Well, aren't you just a bottle of sunshine, sassy pants :P

We jostled past a few people on our way out from the middle of the street. Instead of the normal shops you would see in the middle of a city, there were walls of TVs.

My eyes jumped from monitor to monitor. There had to be somewhere with a sale on decent swords. The only thing I could see was an advertisement for an overpriced knockoff. It seemed like it would be more for decoration than for fighting. It would break before I could get any real use from it.

"And now it's time for the Anything Awesome report."

All the screens changed to this loud flashy program. It seemed like the whole city had gone quiet to look at the screens.

"Good evening gamers, if it actually is the evening wherever you are in the world. We're here to report the breaking news...kesesese, sorry folks. Just can't keep a straight face. But, seriously something awesome literally just happened," the reporter NPC said. She had long, platinum blonde hair and startling red eyes. "Apparently, one player made quite an awesome entrance when he came to the awesome city of New York. My awesome correspondent is on the scene as we speak. Birdie, it's all you."

"Ah, well, thank you, um...Maple." From the scene, it looked like Birdie was reporting not far from the center of New York. I looked around to the NPC with medium length honey colored hair and purple eyes, but I couldn't really see him. He wasn't invisible. I was the only one who could do that. He must have some sort of ability to make sure that player's eyes just pass over him.

"Well, the player came in a UFO, which, um, obviously isn't here right now. It was sent away almost as soon as it appeared. As for the player who made this spectacular entrance, he is..." Birdie reported.

"That was awesome, Birdie. Now, let's see the gameplay footage," Maple said.

The scene was at New York. You could see our spaceship just appear in the middle of the crowd. It was spinning rapidly and emitting a myriad of lights. The door opened and revealed Eric inside. The film stopped when he was facing the camera.

"That's right, peeps! The person who made the awesome entrance was none other than the second ranked player in the game, UltimateHeroEric," Maple continued.

I was a little shocked. Eric was second place already. I don't think in any of the other games he had been ranked that high. Then again, within this game, he had managed to kill me and defeat a high level boss in a short matter of time.

"He obviously got the ride from the aliens, which are now back in Rowell by the way. And that brings us back to our other awesome story," Maple said cheerfully. She turned to face another camera.

"It seems like everything awesome in the world keeps on coming from America. Kesesese, you would think that it would come from a badass place like Prussia!"

"Um, Maple? Prussia isn't a real place," Birdie whispered from somewhere off set.

Maple looked angry. She glared at a place past the camera. "You know what, Birdie? You're not a real place!"

Maple collected herself and grinned back at the camera. "Anywho, I'm sure you all have seen this footage like a million times already, but I just can't get over how awesome it is! This happened not too long ago in Roswell, and it also involves our little alien friends. Let's look at the footage."

All you could see was a horde of aliens crowding around something. My stomach sank. This looked all too familiar. Why did I have a bad feeling about this?

Suddenly, a black streak flew over the alien mob. It dropped down to the center. Then, the majority of the aliens fell down dead, radiating from the black figure. Silver streaks flew from him and killed a few more of the aliens. The footage stopped there when the figure was looking at the camera. The image moved to the corner of the screen. There was no denying it. That was definitely my character.

Maple wiped the tears from her eyes. "That was so awesomely beautiful. Ah, I just can't get enough. But, what do you expect from the top ranked player in WWIII, SakurAssassin, the mysterious ninja who has kidnapped our hearts."

This couldn't be happening. Why was I up there? I pushed my way away from the screens and out into the empty streets. I shoved back from my desk and rolled away on my chair. I slipped my fingers under my glasses and rubbed my eyes. I had spent too much time visible. That was the only way they could have caught me. I'd have to be more careful.

I heard the honk of a horn through my headphones. I looked back to my screen. There was a giant truck headed fast to where I was standing in the game. I quickly slid back to my computer, but I knew I would be too late.

Eric grabbed my character's arm and pulled me back to safety.

**SakurAssassin**: Thanks for that, Eric. I guess my mind was on something else.

**UltimateHeroEric**: No prob. That's what teammates are for. We're supposed to look out for each other. So much for trying to keep a low profile, huh, sassy pants.

Of course Eric could tell what I had been really thinking. He knew how much I didn't want the attention. Yet, without even trying, we had become the most sought after players in the game. I looked around at all the players who seemed to be staring at us. Well, at Eric. None of them could see me.

**SakurAssassin**: I think we should call it quits for tonight.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Sure. And don't let this get you down, sassy pants. No one can help being who they really are. You can't help that you're so unbelievably awesome. Just don't pay them any attention. Play the game how you want to. I'll always be here to help you out. Be it pulling you away when you've gone all spacey or protecting your identity from the crazy super stalkers. :)

**SakurAssassin**: Thanks, Eric. I'll keep that in mind. See you tomorrow.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Anytime :) Goodnight, sassy pants


	8. Power Up

I still had time until I had to meet Eric up again. I spent it browsing the Internet. I don't know why I tortured myself like this. True, I had finished my work early, but that didn't mean I had to throw my sanity away.

I finally saw the new picture of me. The one at the party. They liked to paste my face with cowboys all because of that stupid question. Cowboys from the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly. Woody from Toy Story. All of the Dallas Cowboys football team. Lone Texas Ranger. Even that guy from Oklahoma! But most surprising of all was UltimateHeroEric.

Anything Awesome ended up being a really popular program. More popular than most hit TV shows. Everyone had heard about Eric's awesome entrance. Names stemming inspiration from the names Maple and Birdie popped up all over the place. Most were spewing the most fantastical multiverse gossip.

One posted a picture of UltimateHeroEric kissing me in the outfit I wore to the party. My arms were wrapped around his neck. One of his hands was holding me at the small of my back. The other was caressing my face. I frowned. It was well drawn but completely ridiculous.

**MapleLeafRag**: OMG! I love HeroEriKi! UltimateHeroEric x Kiki Nihonda 4eva!

**BlueBirdieofHappiness**: I know! They are so hot together! *nosebleed*

I scrolled quickly past that next picture. My face was burning. It was another picture of me and Eric's character only in a much more risqué embrace. How could they have drawn something like that! I would never...I can't even...what was wrong with their heads?

**PrussiaisaRealPlace**: I don't know, guys. I just think UltimateHerossassin was meant to be. If you look closely, SakurAssassin was totally protecting UltimateHeroEric from the aliens.

I looked closely at the picture provided. It was pretty low quality. You could tell I was standing in front of something, but it was just a blur. You'd have to have a pretty vivid imagination to figure out it was a cowboy hat.

**NowUCme**: You are so dumb. This doesn't prove anything. Both of those pairings suck! World of Warcraft III is a horrible, overrated game!

**NowUDont**: lol. Ignore this troll. Obviously his mother didn't love him. ^ Ship who you want to ship.

**Kesesesese**: UltimateHerossassin is pure gold. Adding a pirate into the mix would be a perfect love triangle. The ultimate question of who to pick. I made some fan art if you want to check it out!

Her site mostly had pictures of my character and Eric's. There was one that had me in the mix. Like, the real me. Kiki me. I was in some sort of sexy pirate Halloween costume and was forcing Eric to choose between me or my character. Pirates or ninjas.

I rapidly clicked the X button. I groaned. Why must they always do that? Pretty soon, I'd have to make some sort of other reality or identity. Or maybe I should just skip this dimension. I'd rip the space-time continuum apart just for some peace and privacy.

It was still a bit early, but I logged on to the game anyway. I could gather up some items that might be useful later or something.

Surprisingly, Eric was already there. We had saved a bit of a ways out of the city. There's only so many "fans" we can have in our face at a time. He was sitting on the hill side hanging out with Tony.

**SakurAssassin**: Well, you're here early.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Yeah, I forgot to tell you yesterday that school would be getting out a bit earlier. Hey, sassy pants, check it out!

Eric and Tony stood up and backed a bit away from each other. Then they ran and jumped for an ultimate high five. It was so awesome, there was a tiny explosion, and Eric lost 3 HP.

**SakurAssassin**: Very nice. I hope you haven't done that too often or else we'd have to go back into town and get you another potion.

**UltimateHeroEric**: We just had to practice a few times. Definitely not going back there. I tried once, and I almost got trampled. Then, they kept sending me weird messages. Whatever you do, don't search google images for Erien King.

I shivered at the thought.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Wow, there are a lot of interactions I can do with Tony. Most of them I don't even want to do. Oh God, thought of Erien King again. *gag*

**SakurAssassin**: Well, capturing hearts was meant to be part of the ROMANCE portion. I could ask to program some different, non-romantic actions, if you'd like.

I had to add the ask part. No need to let him know just how high up in command I was.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Nah, I'm good. There's enough other actions that I can just try to forget the nonplatonic ones. But, do you think you could ask to get more interactions between teammates. I mean, it's not like we can experience an awesome high five like that.

**SakurAssassin**: Well, for starters, there are a few interactions we can do. I admit, there isn't much. It's mostly for communication in fighting. Something like the ultimate high five wouldn't be a useful strategy in battle, especially since it damages HP.

**UltimateHeroEric**: What about a handshake? That's useful. It's a way to say, job well done. I'm glad to have you as a partner.

**SakurAssassin**: ... You really want a handshake?

No one really shook hands anymore. Not unless you were meeting someone for the first time and you wanted to make a good impression. I was really tired of handshakes, but I tended to have to do them a lot within the company.

**UltimateHeroEric**: yes please :)

This might take me a while. Programming an action to be used by all characters was a bit more difficult than changing a boss.

**SakurAssassin**: They said it should be okay. The update should be out by tomorrow.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Cool :) Now, let's get some stuff done. We're supposed to be superheroes today, right? This is going to be so awesome XD So, how does one become a superhero in this game?

**SakurAssassin**: Well, first we have to get back into the city.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Okay, not awesome :(

**SakurAssassin**: There's a certain phone booth we have to find. You should stay on my tail so that we can get through faster. Are you ready?

**UltimateHeroEric**: I was born ready B)

Then, we were running at top speed. I lead the way back into New York. Running this fast wasn't practical or safe in such a crowded space. Luckily, I had pretty much mastered the art of people dodging. It was almost fun to weave in and out of the other players.

I made it to the phone booth. I hadn't realized I had been holding my breath. I chuckled it out. It took longer than I thought for Eric to get in.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Dude, how did you get through that. I must have run into about eleven people.

**SakurAssassin**: It's a skill I have acquired over the years.

**UltimateHeroEric**: You have got to teach me how to do that.

**SakurAssassin**: In time, young grasshopper.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Yes, sensei. Was this really our first Kung fu reference? Do you have like a black belt in people dodging or something?

**SakurAssassin**: People dodging comes from your heart, not your belt.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Wise words indeed, sassy pants sensei. Wax on. Wax off. Now, let's be heroes!

I typed the secret combination into the phone. The box began whiling and dropped down into the ground. The phone booth was compact enough for two people. All of that jostling didn't help any. Arms and legs and bodies were everywhere by the time we stopped.

**UltimateHeroEric**: How are we supposed to get out of this thing?

I could only move one of my feet. Luckily, this one was smushed against the door. I kicked it until it opened.

**SakurAssassin**: Can you get out now?

**UltimateHeroEric**: Yeah, I think so.

After some time, we were able to get out. I should have made that alone a boss. The white hallway was clean and abandoned. The dark letters on the wall read "Hero Initiative."

**UltimateHeroEric**: You have no idea how hard I'm fanboying out right now. I think I can die happy.

We walked farther down and met up with some NPCs. They were there to help set us up with our hero powers.

"Looks like we've got some fresh heroes on our hands, hey Critic!" the NPC with the crazy blond hair said. He clapped the rather bored looking one on the shoulder.

"Do you ever shut up? And how many times have I told you not to touch me?" Critic said. He pushed off the other's hand. He had blond hair, too, but it was neat and clipped back on one side.

"Oh, don't pretend you're not excited! We needed some new ones. Remember what happened to the last batch? Didn't they die within the first ten minutes? Classic!" the other enthused.

"You're not helping any, Cannon. In fact, you're being rather annoying. I can feel my pixels slowly killing themselves off," Critic said unenthusiastically.

"What do you think they'll be this time?" Cannon ignored Critic. "I hope this one's a Viking like me," he said gesturing to Eric.

"You are not a Viking. You're not even a hero. That's their job. We just set them up with powers," Critic said.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Could I really be a Viking?!

"No," Critic said forcefully. "I think you better take that one, Cannon. I have a feeling you suit one another."

"I like you already," Cannon said to Eric as he led him off. "I can see why you'd want to be a Viking. Who wouldn't, right? But that just wouldn't be fair. The boss would get his ass handed to him right away. Now, you see, if I was up there, he wouldn't even last..." Cannon's voice faded away.

"Thank God," Critic said to himself. "Now, what do you want?"

The window to choose my hero style popped up. There were several powers and looks to choose from. It wouldnt be fair to choose something especially powerful. My invisibility was enough to be a power as it is. I decided to be a blade master with some regenerative ability. I was already pretty much a blade master in the game, I would just have more weapons to choose from as a hero. Plus, I'd temporarily would get a sword to use. Regeneration was sure to come in handy at some point.

Most of the super suits were flashy. There were darker outfits of course, but they were usually meant for people on the more villainous side. I chose a deep red skin suit that covered every inch of my body. The straps to hold all my weapons were black and held shining white blades inside.

On the center of my chest were the letters A S for my hero name. Akashiro. Japanese for red and white. I submitted my hero identity.

"Are you finished?" Critic still had no expression on his face.

**SakurAssassin**: Yes.

"Good. You can wait for your friend here." Critic lead me to another room. "But since he's with that idiot, it might be a while." Critic left after that, probably to wait for the next players wanting to be a hero.

**SakurAssassin**: Are you almost done?

I should have known Eric would take a while. I wondered how long I'd have to wait.

**UltimateHeroEric**: I think I've died and gone to heaven. Why do I have to choose?! This will take a long, LONG time. You can go ahead without me.

**SakurAssassin**: Are you sure?

**UltimateHeroEric**: Yeah, just leave some signs so I can follow you afterwards.

This didn't seem like Eric. Usually he would wait for me. I waited for him for a bit. After a while, I was convinced he was being serious. At the end of the room was the elevator that would lead outside. It still didn't feel right, but I watched the doors close before I started to ascend.

It was New York again, but it was different. There were no more players, just a bunch of chaotic NPCs. This was the New York for heroes. I scratched an arrow into the phone booth before I ran off to save some people.


	9. Hero League

Finding the right henchman was the hardest part of this challenge. The organization had very loyal subordinates. Not very many would be willing tell where their boss was located.

I observed the man as he mugged a woman in a dark alleyway. He had some potential. If he only had the confidence to do this in the dark, he might be a big enough coward to tell me where they were hiding.

Then, I caught a look on his face. It was too sinister. He was enjoying this way too much. He wasn't going to tell me anything. I reached for my knives. I chose a pretty nasty looking one. I took my angle and threw the knife. It sailed straight and true from my perch on the tall building to the assailant's forehead. He pixeled away.

The woman gave a shocked, stifled scream. She looked around, trying to figure out where the knife came from. She needed to know if someone else was trying to attack her again. She even looked up, but I knew she couldn't see me. I was invisible after all. Once she found she was safe, she went running off.

Well, that was another flop. That was the seventh one I ran into that wasn't an informant. I backed up from the edge of the building. I got a running start as I jumped across the thin alleyway and onto the roof of the adjacent building. I went from rooftop to rooftop in search of a willing henchman. I avoided the ones who were clearly insane. Anything I could get out of them would be useless.

I heard gunshots nearby. I looked down to street level. I was right across the street from a bank robbery. Two NPC villains were holding the citizen NPCs hostage within the building. One of them was bound to have just been coerced into doing this.

I needed to find a way to get down. I was seven stories up. A bit too far to just drop. There it was. A downspout. I slid down by slicing my knife through the cheap metal to slow my fall. Many looked over to look at the source of the screeching noise of metal tearing metal. They were puzzled by the phenomenon that must have happened to cause a downspout to just split open like that. I slipped past the gathering people and ran towards the bank.

The NPCs screamed as the bank robbers deliberately shot into the window to scare them. Glass shattered everywhere. That gave me an entrance where I wouldn't be noticed. I stepped over the glass as quietly as I could.

"You hold 'em here. I'll go collect," one thug said.

"R-right," said the other.

Bingo. He was young and obviously not the brains of the operation. I snuck up on the first thug as he went to counter and slit his throat. As he fell, he pixeled away.

"What just happened?" said the remaining thug. The NPC hostages looked up, not quite sure what was going on either.

The thug waved his gun wildly around. "Whoever just killed him, you better come out right now! I am not afraid to shoot!"

He was panicked, and I could tell. His gun shook in his hands. However, he was true to his word. He shot off a round of bullets in random directions. Two of them dug into my shoulder. My HP took a hit. The health bar slowly kicked back once my regenerative powers kicked in. The bullets clinked to the floor as they were forced out of me. The thug pointed his gun in the direction of the sound.

"Who's there?" he called out. I drew my sword.

He shot again as I predicted. This time, I cut the bullets on the sharp edge of my katana. I responded immediately by throwing my shuriken at him. They caught on the edges of his clothes and pinned him to a teller desk. I threw enough until he wasn't able to move. The gun fell uselessly from his hands.

"Let me go! I haven't done nothing!" he pleaded.

**SakurAssassin**: Where is your base of operation?

"I don't know!" He looked around to try to find where my message had come from. "My partner was the one who knew all that stuff! I swear!"

He was hiding something. I pressed my kunai knife edge into his throat. A minuscule amount of him began to pixel away, but he noticed. Virtual blood trickled down.

"Wait! I think I was told if anything were to go wrong, we were to drop the money into the sewer!" he revealed.

So they were in the sewer. Based on the number of people who had visited this hero world, the location of the head of the syndicate changed. That's why I had needed the informant, or I could have just headed to the base right away.

"Now, will you let me go! I told you everything I know!"

I walked away. I decided to keep him pinned there. If Eric came this way, he could always ask this guy where to find me. However, the thug didn't agree with me. He cut away at himself as he reached down for his gun. Before he could shoot, I put my sword through his chest. He had a surprised look on his face as he pixeled away. The weapons stuck in the desk reappeared on my inventory, no longer having any other purpose.

I took a pen and paper from the desk drawer and wrote a note for Eric.

"In the sewers. Come ASAP. -SA"

I taped it on the front of the desk so that he was sure to find it. I went back outside through the revolving doors. I didn't really need to keep my presence a secret. The NPCs in the bank already knew someone had killed the robbers. Plus, I just really liked revolving doors.

There was a sewer opening not to far away in the middle of the street. I moved back the heavy top and used the ladder to climb down.

* * *

It was dark and filthy down in the sewer, but what else do you expect. I was ankle deep in a mysterious gunk. It wasn't harming me in any way, so I didn't mind it so much.

However, there was a giant rat swimming towards me. That could harm me if it noticed I was there. I stabbed through its head. I gained a minimal amount of experience points. Creatures didn't pixel away as fast as evil NPCs. You could usually use them for something else. I could use my little rat friend as a sign. I dipped my fingers in the rat blood and painted an arrow on the pipe wall in the direction the rat had come from. Filth usually came from filth. The crime syndicate had to be that way.

The sewer pipes were really just a gigantic maze. I put arrows on the walls to show Eric where he was supposed to go. Right. Straight. Left. Left. Right. Straight. Straight. Left. Right. Straight. Left.

Suddenly, there was a fancy door that had no right to be in the sewer. This was it. You could hear muffled voices on the other side.

I opened the door. There was a giant conference table with the leaders of the syndicate sitting around it. The boss was the furthest from the door. They looked at the door in confusion, not sure which one of them could have possibly opened it.

"What are you idiots doing? Shoot!" the boss demanded.

The others pulled out their machine guns and started shooting towards the door opening. I leaped up and landed on the edge of the long table. My feet and sudden landing caused the papers full of evil plans to fall off.

Either they were idiots, as the boss before mentioned, or they simply had no regard for their comrades' lives. They all deduced that the invisible person who had opened their door was now on the table. They pointed to the middle in general and fired their guns. They shot each other in their chests and heads, but I suppose their main goal was accomplished. They had slowed me down. I dropped down to my knees. My calves were riddled with bullet holes.

The boss took no chances. He pushed a button under the table. His chair and body dropped out of sight before my knife could reach him.

Damn it! I wouldn't be able to move until my legs regenerated. This was going to take longer than the simple shoulder injury to heal. Once I recovered, I'd be able to follow him into the hole. I heard a giant creaking sound.

Great. Just great. This boss chamber had the centipede robot table. And by centipede, I mean more of a dodecapede. The twelve chairs around the table lifted up and started flexing like the hundred legs of a centipede. The table I was now laying on began to roll and squirm. The rocking made it harder to hold on. Behind me, some of the "chair" legs hit the table, breaking open to reveal leg like pincers perfect for walking, moving, and stabbing heroes like me. The legs started breaking open one by one behind me. I scrambled up out of their reach, barely avoiding each swing of the chairs.

The table screeched as I got closer to its head. I took out my knife and sliced through the table. It thrashed under me, but then became completely still. The pincer legs and remaining chairs returned harmlessly back to the floor. I wasted too much time doing this. The boss was probably already carrying out his plans. Still, I didn't have much of a choice but to slip down into the hole where the syndicate boss and his chair had disappeared.

I was glad to know that my legs were back into commission. I landed softly on my feet on a platform below. I was unhappy to know that the boss was already set up for me. The weight sensors on the platform picked up my landing and quickly set a glass globe over me. I was trapped.

"Mwahahahahahahaha! Puny human hero! Did you really think you were so clever? Being invisible and killing off my men? Did you really think you would be able to stand a chance against me even though I can't see you?"

He stepped out to where I could see him. He was dressed as you would expect any typical gangster to look. A pinstripe suit with a red tie and a fedora hat to top it all off.

"You see this?" He waved a remote around in his hands. "This is going to be your worst nightmare."

He pressed the button. Electricity surged from the platform and bounced around the glass screen. My character was electrocuted. A huge chunk of my HP disappeared. I only had a small amount of time before the next wave would come. I hit the glass with my sword and only managed to do about a crack of damage. The next round came too quick. My regeneration only recovered part of what was lost. I could only drink a few potions to keep myself from getting killed.

"Heh, a few rounds of this ought to do you justice. You'll be dead before long, and I'll be long gone before you can possible come back for me."

**UltimateHeroEric**: Did someone say justice?

Eric dropped down on top of the glass.

**UltimateHeroEric**: You have no right to speak that word! Your days of crime are over, generic villain!

"Oh yeah, and who's going to stop me."

A stronger surge of electricity came surging through. My screen started to flash as my HP dropped lower and lower.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Don't worry, sassy pants! I'll save you!

He was gone from the top of my glass. In a flash, he was crashing into the syndicate boss.

**SakurAssassin**: Careful, Eric! He's an android!

Eric was able to discover that for himself. His super punches knocked off the exterior of his face, revealing the gears and lights of the robot he really was. Laser beams shot out of his eyes, and Eric was barely able to get out of their way. He backed up with super speed.

**UltimateHeroEric**: You could have warned me about that a little bit earlier.

**SakurAssassin**: Spoilers. Plus, I was a bit preoccupied.

After I drank a sufficient amount of potion, I was able to try to break myself out. With Eric distracting the boss, I had plenty of time to get out without the threat of more lightening attacks. I drove my blade through the glass and kicked myself through. There was no stopping me now.

Eric was speeding though the room, breaking equipment and otherwise causing total chaos. The boss had the laser beams chasing after his shadow. There was no way he could hear me coming. I stuck my long white blade though his chest and pressed the button on the back of his head to turn him off.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Aw, dang. :( Was it really that easy?

I got a better look at Eric's costume once he had stopped moving. I had to wince. He probably had to pick the tackiest combination in existence. It was like the Fourth of July threw up on him. His jump suit was blue with giant red stars complete with white boots and gloves. His cape was a long and striped and star-spangled as well. He even had a mask that pretty much matched his cape.

**SakurAssassin**: You had to know where the button was. If you want, I could start him up again if you really want to kill him yourself.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Nah, it's cool. I roughed him up a bit for you anyway. All in a days work for Ultimate Hero Man!

**SakurAssassin**: How original.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Hey! That is the best hero name ever! It perfectly describes who I am without revealing my secret identity! I am a man, and I am the ultimate hero! Check it out, I've got super speed, super strength, you didn't see this, but I can control the weather, fly, create earthquakes when I sneeze, if I could figure out how to sneeze in this game, and super x-ray vision. Don't worry. I can't see through you clothes, but you probably already knew that. And I could pretty much say the same for your name. You just switched the words around, AssassinSakur!

**SakurAssassin**: Akashiro. But I suppose those do have the same letters to my name

**UltimateHeroEric**: I swear you pick out the weirdest names sometimes. It's probably Asian for badass ninja or something. Doesn't matter, this world is the best ever! So much fun!

**SakurAssassin**: What took you so long anyway?

**UltimateHeroEric**: Duh, heroes always arrive at the last minute. But dude, there was like a butt load of villains out there terrorizing the people. I couldn't just leave them there.

Wow, he defeated all of them? I guess all those powers he had would make quick work.

**UltimateHeroEric**: And then I saw your signs and decided to come down here. There was something seriously disturbing about that table. So anyway, what sort of sweet powers do you have? It must have been pretty awesome for you to get through all that so fast.

**SakurAssassin**: Regeneration and blade master.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Oh...so I guess you weren't really that desperate for me to save you if you could just heal yourself back.

**SakurAssassin**: No. You did really help out a lot. I was able to kill the boss much quicker with you here.

**UltimateHeroEric**: But it's not the same. I thought I was rescuing you like some damsel in distress. Now I feel like the Robin in our Dynamic Duo :(

**SakurAssassin**: We're not really the Dynamic Duo type. We're more of the Justice League. And remember, little Dick Grayson steps up to become Batman eventually.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Don't really know what I was thinking. I don't even know if you're a damsel in the first place. I'm cool with being the Justice League :) As long as I'm not Aquaman.

**SakurAssassin**: Why? You have a thing against sea creatures?

**UltimateHeroEric**: Never mind. I love whales. They're my BFF. Man, now I just want to be all of them.

**SakurAssassin**: We can both be all of them. Now would you mine giving me a lift?

**UltimateHeroEric**: Sure. No prob, super sassy pants.

He took hold of one of my straps and flew us out of there. I looked down at the city. True, there were no more villains, but it looked like Eric had destroyed half of the city while saving it. It was a wonder he even read my signs at all. We got back in the phone booth and said our final goodbyes to New York, Hero World.


	10. Nightmare Sequence

"Hey, Critic! Those heroes are back! They didn't die!"

"I know, Cannon. I'm not blind."

The same two NPCs approached us. They needed to decommission us from our powers.

"I bet you were one to finally take down the boss. Of course you did with all those powers I gave you!" Cannon said to Eric.

"Were you even watching? SakurAssassin was the one who landed the final blow," Critic said. He placed his palm on my forehead and dematerialized my powers and hero uniform, leaving me in my regular ninja attire.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Yeah, sassy pants was pretty awesome. The whole world was so awesome! You should have seen it. I killing bad guys and rescuing people left and right.

"Yeah, I don't know who 'sassy pants' is. I bet you were a pretty badass hero. Too bad I've got to take your powers from you!" Cannon's hand smacked Eric's forehead. Eric's tacky costume was, thank goodness, stripped away.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Aw, did you really have to do that? :'(

"I feel so powerful." Cannon ignored Eric's question. His fingers danced in front of his face, and this eyes went wide in excitement. "I can give powers and take them away. I can rule the world!

He wrapped his arm around Critic and outstretched his other arm. "You and me, Critic. We can take over the virtual world! Then we take down The Man, and head out to the real..."

Critic punched Cannon in the face. "Don't touch me. Ever." Critic stalked away.

"Aw, Critic! Don't be like that!" Cannon followed his partner NPC off screen.

**SakurAssassin**: Before we head back out to the chaos, we should probably figure out what to do next.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Right. We defeated two bosses in America, so that means we have to go to a different country.

**SakurAssassin**: You paid attention.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Yeah, I tend to do that sometimes. :P So, where do you want to go?

**SakurAssassin**: We don't really have much of a choice. America is pretty far away from the other countries, and travel gets to be pretty expensive. And we don't have a lot of money yet.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Uh oh. How much is it going to cost us?

**SakurAssassin**: For this trip? Nothing.

**UltimateHeroEric**: :/ aaaaaaaaaand I'm confused.

**SakurAssassin**: We're going to have to be very sneaky.

* * *

We were ducking in the telephone booth in the in the middle city.

**SakurAssassin**: Remember, you need to stay right behind me.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Totally ready this time. When I was a super hero with super speed, I got super good at people dodging.

**SakurAssassin**: Good.

I opened the door and ran out. We were headed straight for Chinatown. The borders to get into China were pretty tight. The only reasonable way in was through smuggling.

The crowd of people got thicker as we got closer. People were lining up to get cheaper products. Nothing attracts customers quite like a sale. I ran into one of the alleyways. There were the boxes. Boxes with American logos ready to be filled up with Chinese fakes.

Eric got into a box and I closed a lid over him. He hadn't ran into anybody this time. All there was left was to wait for the workmen to pick him up and take us to the plane.

**UltimateHeroEric**: How long do I need to stay in here?

**SakurAssassin**: Until we reach China.

**UltimateHeroEric**: You know, I'd feel a lot better about this if you got in a box too.

**SakurAssassin**: I don't need to. They can't see me anyway.

**UltimateHeroEric**: And that's not even fair in the first place. Whatever happened to equality? All gamers created equal?

**SakurAssassin**: That's not going to work on me

**UltimateHeroEric**: Just get in the box, sassy pants.

**SakurAssassin**: Why should I?

**UltimateHeroEric**: bcuz if u dnt i tlk lke ths 4eva!1!

I hopped in the box and huddled myself together

**SakurAssassin**: There. I'm in the box. Are you happy?

Eric peeked under the lid of his box

**UltimateHeroEric**: Yes :) Now we both look stupid.

**SakurAssassin**: You know, I could have just left this team and banned you from ever talking about me.

**UltimateHeroEric**: You wouldn't do that. I'm too irresistible. Cowboy, remember?

**SakurAssassin**: Your cowboy appeal has no effect on me.

**UltimateHeroEric**: That's because you're a ninja, and, therefore, insanely jealous.

The workmen came then. They lifted up our boxes and loaded us into the plane headed for China.

**SakurAssassin**: You can save here. We probably won't get there until tomorrow.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Alright. Goodnight, sassy pants! See you tomorrow.

* * *

I used my arm to shield the light of the morning as my alarm went off. What a horrible dream. Usually when I dreamt myself inside a game, it was pretty good. This was probably my worst nightmare.

I was in World of Warcraft III. It pretty much was my life, so it wasn't that surprising. It was just Eric and I. We were outside Roswell just staring up at the stars. Our weapons were temporarily cast aside. There was no fight for us to face that night.

"Hey, sassy pants," Eric said.

I thought how nice it was to actually hear his voice for a change instead of reading his typed out messages.

"Yeah?" I said.

"I just thought I should let you know I'm starting to ship UltimateHerossassin."

"W-what?!" I said incredulously. I could feel my face growing hot. How could he know what gender I was? But this was my actual body in the game. That gave me away.

"Yeah, weird, huh? We're a pretty good team, right? I want to know the real you more. So we can exist out there in the real world."

I couldn't do anything. Eric's honest blue eyes were sincere and held mine. His lips curled up into a little half smile. He reached out one hand and touched my face.

He was really touching me. Only his thumb was in contact with my skin. The rest of his hand was resting on my masked cheek. The tip swept from side to side. This was so much different from the game when he would grab my arm to pull me to safety or fly me away. This was real.

I could feel myself getting light headed. Eric liked me? How was this possible? He didn't even know me. But his hand felt so good, even with the thin cloth mask separating us from a more direct contact. I suppose it was possible for him to like me. I mean, SakurAssassin, his sassy pants, was a truer form of me than the world's Kiki Nihonda. And he liked them both. Maybe, just maybe, it could be worth a shot.

His thumb hooked around the top of my mask and pulled down, revealing my face. I was stunned, but his full smile now comforted me. Had I really become so comfortable with him in such a short amount of time?

But no. The smile turned into something more sinister. He reached for his weapon. But his ultimate weapon was no longer his long range launcher. No. It was a camera. He adjusted the lenses and took a shot. It felt like I had been stabbed in the stomach. I curled up in the grass. My dark blood was concealed by my black clothing. I looked up to the sky. My HP was going down.

Eric took picture after picture. I had trusted him, and he had been a reporter the whole time. Each flash of the camera sent me writhing in more and more pain. This was the reason why games weren't connected to real life. It got too painful and personal. I had trusted him. He had betrayed me. I couldn't even scream.

I was almost finished. 1 HP left until I was dead. I could feel tears collecting in my eyes. It hurt so much. I looked back to Eric. He brought the viewfinder to his eye.

"Goodnight, sassy pants."

* * *

I had no reason to be scared. The dream was completely improbable anyway. I still had to go through the list to calm myself down.

One: there was no way I could actually enter my whole self into a game. It was impractical as well as impossible. Two: Guns can't turn into cameras. Three: Eric would never do that to me.

The third wasn't necessarily a fact. But it seemed the most right. Eric didn't really seem like the type to keep something like being a reporter a secret. Unless, he was just a really good liar. Still, the thought was comical. Eric lying was about as ridiculous as UltimateHerossassin. Just something made up from the mind of a silly fangirl.

I splashed water on my face and grabbed a bowl of cereal. It was time to leave bad dreams behind and get to work.

* * *

There. The update was finally done. The game would now have handshakes between teammates and various other improvements. Finished up work early again today. I couldn't really do much in the game. I was stuck in a box in a plane until we landed. It was amazing how many stops a smuggling plane had to take. What to do...

I left my gaming room and searched for a window. It was raining buckets outside. Perfect. I grabbed my rain boots and an umbrella.

I always liked to walk outside. It could be nice to stretch my legs every once in a while. No reporter liked to stick around long with weather like this. I waved to the doorman as I stepped outside.

Charlie always assumed I didn't like outside. It's not my fault that it hardly ever rains in LA. Maybe I'd go surprise her. Her family's Chinese restaurant wasn't that far away.

"Hello! How may I help you?" the aging Asian woman greeted me as I went through the door.

"Hey, Mama C! Is Charlie working?"

Mama C recognized me. "Kiki!" she cried out and wrapped me in a warm embrace. This woman had practically raised me. "No, no. She has very important shipment to pick up this afternoon." I rolled my eyes. Charlie was probably out ripping off somebody again. "It's been too long. Let me go get you food."

"Thanks. I'll just have some orange chicken to go."

"No. You stay and eat. We catch up." Mama C dragged me to a nearby chair.

"Thanks, but I really must go," I insisted. It wasn't too long until I had to meet up with Eric again. "I got important work business to do. I'll stop by some other time."

"Work, work, work. Why you no have fun once in while?" Mama C shook her head at me, but let go. Like mother like daughter. "Papa!" Mama C called out. "Where that order?!"

Papa C wasn't as talkative as his wife. He was a man of few words. He came out from the kitchen with a carry out box for me without a word. He gave the food to me and bowed a tiny bit. I bowed back, and he went back to the kitchen.

"Thanks again, Mama C," I said on my way out the door. I fiddled with my umbrella, getting ready to open it up to the downpour.

"Anytime, kiddo. I tell Charlie you stop by!"

I waved to her through the window as I braved the weather back to the apartment.

* * *

I skipped past the doorman on the way to the elevator. Nothing like a nice walk to lift my spirits from a bad dream. I didn't run into any reporters. I wasn't in the spotlight. It was nice. As the elevator lit up for the different floors, I started into my orange chicken. The elevator stopped on my floor, I held my wooden chopsticks in my mouth as I dug into my pocket for my key. I got inside and headed straight for the gaming room. The plane should have landed by now, so I logged into WWIII. The ding of a PM greeted me right away.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Uh, sassy pants, we got a bit of a situation.

I peeked out of my box. It looked like Eric was still hidden in his. However, the light from the outside outlined a character blocking the exit.

**ARUcoChar**: Good afternoon, stowaways! Airways and Resources Universal would like to thank you for sneaking into China through our company! We just ask a moderate fee in return of your safe journey, and you can be on your way. Thank you for your involuntary business!


	11. Exploitation

**ARUcoChar**: Just $600. That's all I'm asking for. I'm actually offering you quite a deal. You should take it while I'm still feeling so generous.

**UltimateHeroEric**: It's ridiculous! She's going to charge us about the amount it would have to legally get here! What should we do? Should we rush her?

**SakurAssassin**: No stay in the box. She can't be positive there are any people here. That was a general message. If she knew we were here, she would have sent us personal messages. Plus, we don't know if she has anyone waiting outside.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Between you and me, I think we could take them.

**ARUcoChar**: We can do this the easy way or the hard way. Either you come out of the boxes and pay up, or this plane leaves without unloading. Who knows, maybe it'll happen to crash into the middle of the ocean. I can't guarantee the quality of work of my employees when they haven't been paid.

Oh for goodness sakes, why did she have to be such a pain?

**SakurAssassin**: Eric, stay down and hidden. I'll take care of this. Whatever you do, do not get out of the box and don't let her know you're here.

I turned off my invisibility and popped out of my box. ARUcoChar's head whipped my way.

**SakurAssassin**: Charlie, what do you think you're doing?

**ARUcoChar**: I was wondering when I'd run into you, Kiki! And here you are being a patron to my business. Figured you'd find out my user name easily. I thought it was pretty clever. This game is pretty amazing. I've gotten so many customers here and in the real world now.

**SakurAssassin**: Charlie, what you're doing isn't right.

**ARUcoChar**: Oh, and sneaking into a country is? Face it, you're just as wrong as me.

**SakurAssassin**: This isn't the real world. I can do whatever I want. However, this little "business" of yours is wrong. How many times do I have to tell you that pirating is bad? And I can safely assume that you're promoting it via the game you stole from me.

**ARUcoChar**: -.- Let's not go into petty specific details. I'm just going to take it as an early birthday present to me from you. You can try to scold me all you want, but you can't stop me here. That would defeat the purpose of your little game. This is supposed to be a virtual world that I can control. In your words, "I can do whatever I want."

**SakurAssassin**: Just like I can kill you if you don't move and let this plane unload.

I drew one of my kunai knives for emphasis. She didn't react at all despite the fact that she knew she would never be able to defend herself against me.

**ARUcoChar**: Just like I can reveal to this whole game just who you really are.

**SakurAssassin**: You wouldn't...

**ARUcoChar**: I'm sure Maple and Birdie of Anything Awesome would be thrilled to know that the number one player in the game just happens to be the famous Internet idol.

**ARUcoChar**: But who says things have to come to that :) We are best friends. I'm sure we can come to some sort of agreement. Tell you what, I'll let you go in exchange for a bit of information. Just which box is UltimateHeroEric in, you lucky girl? ;)

Crap.

**SakurAssassin**: Just what are you talking about?

**ARUcoChar**: There's no need to get so defensive. :( I am kind of sad that you don't want to introduce me to your new boyfriend.

**SakurAssassin**: He is not my boyfriend. We don't even know each other. I hear he's pretty popular in America. Maybe that's where he is if you want to meet him so badly.

**ARUcoChar**: :( It's not like you to lie, Kiki.

**SakurAssassin**: I'm not lying. He may have helped me a bit in America, but I never planned for him to finish the game with me.

**ARUcoChar**: KIKI NIHONDA!

That wasn't a personal message to me. That was a group message. Those words went out to every player in the immediate area. I ran over to Charlie and pressed my knife to her throat.

* * *

**ARUcoChar**: Get your Kiki Nihonda action figures here!

She stepped back from my blade and turned around. She stepped off from the airplane.

**ARUcoChar**: Gain different abilities based on which version of the sensation you get!

**ARUcoChar**: Oh, and you two! Merry and Mumble was it? Go unload those crates. We just got in a shipment of very important cargo.

"But, we weren't expecting a cargo shipment until tomorrow, weren't we Mumble?"

"Hmm."

**ARUcoChar**: Yeah. Sometimes you don't PLAN for things to happen, but things just seem to work out that way.

I rolled my eyes. That comment was obviously directed towards me. But at least she didn't try to embarrass me in front of Eric. I switched my invisibility back on and climbed into my crate. I was a little surprised at Charlie's ability, but I suppose since she had one of my copies, she was bound to be a little bit special. Didn't expect her to have NPC influence. I suppose that's how she was doing so well in her business. It's always convenient that your competitors always happen to charge more than you. The NPCs wouldn't be able to help it if she asked.

**UltimateHeroEric**:...Dude, I have to get myself one of those action figures.

**SakurAssassin**: Never really pegged you as a virtual doll person.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Virtual action figure. She said it would give you special abilities, right? That might be worth it...

**SakurAssassin**: It's pretty much useless. Anything she could have put in there is temporary or really insignificant. Now stay down. I think they're coming.

"So, Mumble, have you been having a nice day?" the shooter NPC asked as he came into view. He had a slighter frame and a happier face than his companion.

"T's go'd, I gu'ss. G't t'spend time with ye," the taller one said. He certainly didn't look like he was having a good time.e looked rather angry.

"Ah ha ha ha ha, that's good," the one named Merry said nervously. He stood there awkwardly as Mumble made his way into the tiny plane. Mumble started stacking the smaller boxes on top of each other. He placed the stack on top of Eric's box. He grunted and struggled to get the cargo off the ground. He eventually did with some effort.

"Are you okay?" Merry asked worriedly.

"'M fine. T's a bit he'vi'r th'n 'xpected," he said, a bit more strained than usual.

"I could carry some of them if you want. I am supposed to be moving the boxes, too."

"I c'n h'ndle it." Mumble looked into my box. Seeing it was empty he nodded towards Merry. "Ye c'n t'ke th't one."

"Okay."

Merry came over to my box. He huffed out as he lifted me off the ground.

"Just what in the world are these things made out of? Even the empty boxes are heavy!"

"I c'n c'me b'ck f'r 't l't'r if ye l'ke," Mumble suggested.

"No, I got this. Let's just hurry up to the warehouse so we can put these down."

Merry left the plane with me first, and I got a glimpse of China. The streets were packed with people just like they were in America. This could be a pain if we weren't careful.

Merry navigated through the players, politely passing by, and came up to a huge warehouse. He used his foot to activate a switch to open a door. The metal sheet rolled up, clanging at every fold. Merry passed under it once it was high enough. Mumble followed a few moments after.

They placed our boxes in a forest of others.

"Whew! We did it! I think we could use a break!" Merry said, stretching his arms above his head.

"'F ye say so, M'rry."

"I don't know about you, but I could really go for a hot chocolate."

I could hear Mumble and Merry's footsteps as they walked away.

* * *

I climbed out of my box and my feet landed lightly on the concrete floor.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Dude, you've got to help me. I can't get out. :(

I looked around for Eric's box. It was hard to tell exactly where he was. He must have been under that stack of boxes. I think I recognized a few of them from the plane.

I started moving them one by one. Some of them were empty, but there were a few that were rather heavy. As I moved one of the heavier ones, a lighter one fell from the top. I heard a clang as something fell out. I sighed and placed the heavy one on the ground. I really hope I didn't break anything.

Once I saw what it was, I hungrily picked it up. To think, I had been traveling with a sword this whole time. I removed the blade from the sheath to inspect it's quality. It was a fake, but it was a pretty nice fake. It would do rather nicely until I could afford to get a real one.

I turned around when I heard more boxes crash to the floor. The remaining boxes had been pushed off of Eric's crate and he popped up.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Freedom! At last! My fingers have been itching to walk for a while.

He jumped out of his box and ran around in circles for a while.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Oh, what did you find? Anything cool?

**SakurAssassin**: A sword. Got it from one of those boxes. I really needed one, too. I now have a weapon that I can use more efficiently than a knife.

**UltimateHeroEric**: I like that sword. That sword hasn't killed me.

**SakurAssassin**: Yet.

**UltimateHeroEric**: :P Right. Yet. Hopefully never. You really should keep me around, sassy pants. I am quite good company ;)

**SakurAssassin**: Oh yes. Who else would I go to to hear rumblings about Kiki Nihonda?

**UltimateHeroEric**: No Kiki hate. She's amazing and you know it.

**SakurAssassin**: Whatever you say, Eric.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Good. So we agree. :) Now, let's hit China! The great land of fortune cookies and child labor!

Eric ran out through the door before I could stop him. You'd think he'd learn that him and crowds don't mix. Surprisingly, no one freaked out like I thought they would. Instead they were all gathered around Charlie and all of her exploited wonders.

**ARUcoChar**: And on top of the products you see before you, ladies and gentlemen, I also bring information! That's right! News from America from the words of Maple herself! Maybe something about UltimateHeroDerek. And just who is the FerNinja? For just a small payment, I'll tell all their secrets and more!

Did people actually buy that stuff? I guess I did have to thank Charlie for distorting the information worse than the news reporters. It would make our time in China a lot easier. Just where was Eric? I really hoped he wasn't getting us into more trouble.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Crap, sassy pants, I really need your help with this one. I'm such an idiot.

**SakurAssassin**: What happened? Where are you?

**UltimateHeroEric**: I don't know, but I'm pretty sure I've run into one of the bosses.


	12. Lagging

Well, I knew he must have been exaggerating. There was no way he could have encountered one of the bosses so fast. But still, in a city with this many players and NPCs, who knows what kind of trouble he could have gotten into.

I was slightly glad that my character was taller than the real me. It was easier to peer over the crowd. Still, trying to find Eric was really difficult. I should have made finding people a boss. Sort of like "Where's Waldo?" But in a ripped off way. "Where's Wang Yao?" or something.

On the side of the street a few yards away, I saw some jostling. An NPC woman was yelling angrily. A little bit of a crowd was starting to gather. How did I know that had to be him?

The other players looked around confused as I shoved my way past them.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Sassy pants! Thank goodness. This lady keeps on shouting some sort of spell at me and my hands are tied up at the moment.

The NPC lady was livid. Her face was scrunched up and yelling in broken English. "Why you no pay? Pay for item or put it back and leave! I'm warning you customer..."

Eric's index fingers were held together by tube going from one end to the other. Why was I not surprised? He shook his hands up and down.

**UltimateHeroEric**: I CAN'T GET IT OFF!

**SakurAssassin**: Eric, they're just Chinese handcuffs...

**UltimateHeroEric**: How could they have found my only weakness so easily?! I could never figure these things out!

**SakurAssassin**: Just push your fingers together and pull them apart.

He tried that slowly, but his fingers got caught again. He pushed them in and out, in and out.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh!

This was getting ridiculous. How could he not figure out this toy. We were starting to gather too much attention. Any longer and someone would figure out who we were.

**SakurAssassin**: Alright, just pull your fingers apart as far as you can.

Eric did as he was told. The straw like paper constricted his fingers even more. I drew my knife and sliced through the middle of the handcuffs. The handcuffs came loose and fell off of Eric's fingers.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Oh. Well, that was easy, I guess. And relatively painless.

The people around us were rather surprised. I guess they assumed that Eric had caused the handcuffs to snap apart on their own. But, the most shocked would have to be the shopkeeper NPC. She had stopped her yelling and was utterly speechless. She started to shake with a growing rage.

**SakurAssassin**: Now pay the lady before she has an aneurism.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Right...

Eric used part of what little money we had to pay the NPC for the broken novelty item. The upset NPC plastered a smile on her face. "Thank you valued customer! Don't be stranger!"

After that ordeal was over, Eric followed me to the edge of the city.

**UltimateHeroEric**: You really saved my butt back there, sassy pants! I guess we only have one more boss to go!

**SakurAssassin**: That wasn't a boss, Eric. She was just a regular NPC.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Then why was she shouting a spell at me? O.o

**SakurAssassin**: She wasn't. She was speaking English. Not very well, but it's supposed to add to the confusion of this place.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Well, it worked. I am very confused. Can NPCs really get aneurisms?

**SakurAssassin**: No, but she was going to explode if you didn't pay her.

**UltimateHeroEric**: What! D: What does that even accomplish?

**SakurAssassin**: Well, if you're going to be a thief or a vandal, you'll have to be a lot sneakier than that. And it keeps the rest of the players honest. You're not very likely to steal again if you die.

**UltimateHeroEric**: I guess that sort of works...Badass shopkeepers. Steal and die.

Badass. I liked that. Charlie had used a different word when I had told her about the concept. Inconvenient. Annoying. But I suppose that was just because she liked to steal things so much.

**UltimateHeroEric**: So, what do you want to do? Are there any bosses in the city?

**SakurAssassin**: There are a few, but they're rather time consuming. And I'd rather avoid the city crowds.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Yeah, I hear that. We haven't exactly had the best experiences with cities, I guess. I kind of want to see a tiger! Or a panda!

**SakurAssassin**: You're starting to kind of sound like my best friend.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Uh...I guess that's cool :) Are they a hero like me?

**SakurAssassin**: No. Charlie just really likes pandas.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Oh. Well, they're cool I guess. Pandas I mean.

I started towards the jungle. The giant green leaves and walls of bamboo surrounded us as we got further away from the city. Was that really all Eric had to say? I guess there really wasn't much to say about pandas when you weren't as obsessed as Charlie.

**SakurAssassin**: I'm sorry.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Huh? Why? What for?

**SakurAssassin**: For not being entertaining. I sort of steered this conversation into a dead end.

I guess I was really unpracticed in socializing. What did people talk about anyway? Usually when people talked to me, they could pretty much carry on the conversation with little or no contribution from me.

**UltimateHeroEric**: No biggie. We all have awkward moments. I mean, you just rescued me from a child's toy. And you're plenty entertaining. I was just thinking off in my own little world.

I was still desperate to make up for it, despite Eric dismissing the issue.

**SakurAssassin**: I know! Have you gotten the new update yet?

**UltimateHeroEric**: Yeah :D It's pretty sweet.

More silence. Oh no, what did I do wrong this time!

**SakurAssassin**: I would have thought you would have tried out the new features. Like the handshake. That's why you wanted it so bad. You're not disappointed are you?

**UltimateHeroEric**: Oh no! Everything is fantastic! Thank you for calling it in to the higher ups, sassy pants. I can't wait to try out the handshake, but I think I'm going to try to save it for sometime special. ;)

**SakurAssassin**: lol, that's good I guess. I'm glad the update lives up to your expectation. And I guess I'll look forward to that handshake.

**UltimateHeroEric**: But you know, you could shake my hand anytime you want, sassy pants ;)

**SakurAssassin**: Tempting, but I think I'll restrain myself for now.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Suit yourself. I should warn you, people say I'm a pretty good handshaker. If a handshake on here is anything like my handshakes in real life, prepare yourself to be blown away.

I rolled my eyes and smiled. I was glad he was back to being his ridiculous self.

**SakurAssassin**: I shall take the necessary precautions until then.

**UltimateHeroEric**: But really, sassy pants, where are we going?

We were currently trekking up a mountain. The trees were becoming scarce in the low oxygen levels. Even the game wouldn't allow us to move as fast.

**SakurAssassin**: There's a temple on top of the mountain. There's a boss we can beat there.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Awesome! Is he like some sort of Kung fu monk or something?

**SakurAssassin**: You'll see.

The temple became visible after a little while. Littles ponds spotted along the walkway towards the entrance. Brightly colored fish were swimming around in the clear water. With no trees to block it, the sunlight beamed off of the facets of the water.

**UltimateHeroEric**: So, if the boss is up here, shouldn't we have gotten attacked by now?

**SakurAssassin**: He's not going to attack us.

**UltimateHeroEric**: O.o We're supposed attack him. That's not very sportsman like.

"Balance"

Eric whipped around, trying to figure out where the voice that I could hear through my headphones came from.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Dude, I'm getting totally freaked out here. He isn't a ghost or something, is he?

"Balance is the key if you intend to accept my challenge." A flash of orange fluttered to the ground. The monk boss jumped from his post on top of his roof to the space in front of us. He was wrapped head to toe in bright orange monk clothes. He was bald except for a long thin mustache on his face.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Fine challenge accepted!

Eric don't reach for his guns. He stayed true to the Kung fu tradition and took a swing at the boss monk. His movements were slow, and the monk simply ducked away.

Eric swung again from a different angle. Using the least number of movements possible, the monk grabbed Eric arm and used Eric's strength against him by sending him crashing to the ground.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Crap, I think I'm lagging!

"And what about you, my invisible friend? Do you wish to take up my challenge, too?" the monk said. He still had Eric pinned to the ground.

The monk had been perceptive. He had observed Eric on our way up. Eric must have been looking at me quite a bit for the monk to sense my presence. I turned off my temporarily useless invisibility.

**SakurAssassin**: I accept. Please take care of us, master.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Don't call him that sassy pants! We live in America! No one is our master.

The monk smiled. "You have twenty four hours to complete the tasks." We bowed slightly at each other in a sign of respect. He walked away, releasing Eric from the ground.

**SakurAssassin**: You're going to need to relax Eric. It's not going to be everyday you meet a boss that's not immediately trying to kill you.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Dirty, sneaky monk. I don't trust him. There's just something about him that doesn't seem right. He shouldn't have let us go that easily.

I helped him up. He brushed the dirt from his clothes.

**SakurAssassin**: Well, of course you shouldn't trust him. He's still a boss for goodness sakes. I just said he wasn't going to kill us immediately. What do you think happens after twenty four hours?

**AN: Sorry this took so long. I left you on a bit of a cliff hanger. You know the drill. School, busy, friends, blah, blah, blah, etc. I'll try to get them out faster once I get into the swing of things again. Thank you so much for reading! Feel free to leave a review of favorithe or follow. Or do all three :) Until next time!**


	13. Tea Bagging

**UltimateHeroEric**: I'm really not quite sure. This game has been so awesomely, epically random that I can't be too sure of what's going to happen. I'm betting on a giant rolling rock. Those always seem to appear around temples. Or maybe a horde of angry monkeys. Or maybe he'll just make us a sandwich. An EVIL sandwich

**SakurAssassin**: As much as I appreciate your creative attempt at answering the question, it seems I must inform you that the question was very much rhetorical. The boss will try to kill us. As for how, that's for me to know and you to find out :)

**UltimateHeroEric**: Was I close? ;)

**SakurAssassin**: Sandwich. Definitely an evil sandwich.

I followed after the monk further towards the temple. It was pretty quiet. All you could hear were birds chirping and the trickle of a nearby fountain. The wood pillars reached up to the multi-inclined roof with the upturned corners. The temple rose up layer by layer into the sky. It was like a giant, intricate bird cage.

We stepped up inside the temple. The floors were a smooth light colored wood. Eric's boots made loud clunking sounds on the surface. The monk stopped pointedly at the end of the narrow hall. His hands were clasped tightly behind him at his back. He turned around slowly. His eyes were squeezed shut, and he had a forced smile on his face.

"If the two of you would please join me in the great hall," he said as he indicated with his head to the great room through the sliding paper door.

I laughed a bit too myself. Too think Eric had gotten the boss this irritated already. I slipped through the door first and Eric followed. I sat down at one of the two straw mats. Eric sat next to me. The monk slid the door behind him as he took his place on the platform on the other side of the room. He sat himself comfortably in the full lotus position, feet resting on opposite thighs.

"The purpose of my challenge is to achieve calm and collectiveness." He finally opened his eyes. "In order to achieve our goals, one must first learn how to control themselves. We must first prepare ourselves for the journey to self awareness. The first portion of the challenge: prepare the tea."

The air shimmered in front of our mats. Two identical sets of tea were laid out between us. We turned towards each other.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Tea? Really? This should be a cinch! My bro drinks that stuff all the time. I think I remember how to make the stuff. Why do we have all this extra stuff? All we need are the tea bags or something. Let's tea bag some hot cup o' water!

**SakurAssassin**: I'm pretty sure it's going to be a bit different than that. It's not going to be that easy. And definitely no tea bagging.

I assessed the layout in front of me. I just had to mind which leaves were which.

**SakurAssassin**: Making tea this way can be pretty hard when you don't have a sense of taste, smell, or touch. You're going to have to follow my movements exactly. Even the way I stir the leaves.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Wow, just how picky is this guy? It's just hot leaf juice. Whatever you say, sassy pants ;)

Before we could even start brewing the tea, we had to make the tea blend. The combination between tea leaves and herbs and spices had to be just right. I grabbed the plants from the red and blue bowls. I started to grind them together. I looked over to Eric, pleased that he had followed my instructions. He was with me pace for pace. I relaxed a bit and grabbed from another pinch of herbs.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Are we almost done yet?

After a few minutes of mixing and adding, I looked over and noticed that Eric was a bit behind me now. His blend even looked a little different.

**SakurAssassin**: Which bowl did you just grab from?

**UltimateHeroEric**: the dark green one on the left. Why?

I had a feeling something like this was going to happen. I should have been paying more attention.

**SakurAssassin**: Because I got the plants from the medium green bowl in the left corner.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Shoot! Does that mean I have to start over? I don't think I can remember half the stuff you in there! Aaaaaaagh what are we going to do? I'm so tired :'(

**SakurAssassin**: We need to remain calm. It'll be okay, I promise. Add some of those dried leaves from the white bowl. Don't add any of the stuff I'm about to.

I needed to make a tea complimentary to what Eric had made. I grabbed dome of the dried flowers from the gray bowl and a few grasses from the yellow bowl.

**SakurAssassin**: You can stop grinding now. Start pouring hot water over the teapot and cups while I finish up this.

Eric did so for both of our sets. He drained the water into the tea trays. I put Eric's blend in one pot and mine in the other. I poured hot water into both pots and almost immediately poured it out again to let the dry leaves absorb some water first. I poured more hot water in and waited for the first infusion.

After a few minutes, I poured the tea into the tiny cups. Eric's in one, mine in the other. I handed his to him, and we walked carefully over to the monk. The monk took the cups in either hand. He inhaled the aroma of each cup of tea and wrinkled his nose. He tried not to get the notion that the teas were going to be horrible before he even tasted them. Still, a look of triumph was apparent on his face as he poured the teas together into a bigger cup.

He brought the combined tea to his lips. He looked surprised as the liquid hit his tongue. He closed his eyes and savored the tea. Once he swallowed, he opened his eyes again.

"You have passed."

**UltimateHeroEric**: Booyah!

"On their own, your teas would have been horrible and useless. Once together, the tea became a perfect, balanced blend. You are a harmonious team," the monk continued.

**UltimateHeroEric**: :DDDDD

"However, your teamwork will not help you on this next task."

**UltimateHeroEric**: D:

"During the next challenge awaiting you, you must not move from your spot. You must remain still and silent."

**UltimateHeroEric**: Well, of course we would be silent. We can't even really talk.

"That INCLUDES personal messages, UltimateHeroEric." The monk glared at Eric. When he composed himself, he said, "I will allow one last message from each of you before we start. You must remain in this meditative state until the end of the 24 hours since you began my challenges. You have 1 minute."

Eric and i sat back down on our mats. We wouldn't have time to respond to the message sent. We would have to send it at the same time.

**SakurAssassin**: He can tell when you send a PM, so we won't be able to talk for a while. I suggest you get some rest. Be sure to be back on the game a little before the 24 hours are up.

I sent the last message just as I received Eric's.

**UltimateHeroEric**: We can't talk to each other?! D: That sucks! How am I supposed to last that long? Anyway, I guess I'll peace out. Ugh, now I want to talk to you so bad! Stupid boss. Good night, sassy pants!

* * *

I tapped my fingers against my desk as I waited for the time to pass the next day. I had the gamescreen up. I was just waiting to log in now. Just a little bit longer. Charlie was over, but even she wasn't enough of a distraction. She told me a bit more about her little online business. It was more legal than what I had initially thought. She really was trying to be clean. She even offered to pay me for the versions of the game she stole. I told her that if she really wanted them as a birthday present, she could have them, as long as she didn't make anymore copies of course.

"Hey, Kiki, do you think there's anyway you could offer me a special family discount or something? I mean, I always thought of you as a sister, but if you don't feel that way..." She began again, trying to keep my mind away from the gameplay.

"You're pushing your luck," I said.

"Ah, but I still have my luck, right?" she suggested.

I sighed and nodded my head.

"Ah! Kiki you're the greatest!" Charlie enthused as she wrapped her arms around my upper body.

A little window in the game popped up. "UltimateHeroEric has logged in."

I quickly slipped on my glasses and headphones and started to log in. I was anxious to play again.

"Kiki, you sneaky little liar! Eric was with you the entire time!" I could see her cheeky grin through the reflection on my screen.

Suddenly, I wasn't at the screen. Charlie had pushed me and my rolling chair several feet away from my desk. My headphones were ripped out of the jack, and the gameplay music blared through my gaming room. I was horrified to see Charlie typing away at my keyboard.

**SakurAssassin**: UltimateHeroEric, I love you SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO much! I just want to jump into my game and make virtual babies with you! They'll be part genius game maker and part hot stud. My brains, your body. We should meet up and make our relationship official. ;) What do you say? :* Xoxo Kiki Nihonda.

"Charlie, you're going to ruin everything!" I squeezed between her and my computer and deleted the message before she could send it. I could feel my face flushing hot from embarrassment from what might have happened.

"Oh honey, you're going to have to tell him eventually," Charlie said, stepping back. Her face was amused from my reaction.

"We're not like that, Charlie! Plus, I'm in the middle of defeating a boss! I can't send any messages. Confessions or not!" I calmed myself down. Everything was still okay. I hadn't broken any of the requirements. I reached out to roll my chair back to its rightful place in front of my desk. I didn't dare move away. I plugged my headphones in and myself back into the game.

"Whatever. I'll leave you alone for your little date, Kiki. Say hello to your boyfriend for me!"

There was no use in correcting her again. She was already gone. It didn't matter now. Eric was waiting to play.

* * *

The monk reminded meditating in lotus position from his platform. His eyes were closed as he was in deep relaxation.

Eric was rolling his head trying to get my attention. Movements this small wouldn't register to the boss. He indicated to the pistols in his holster and then to the meditating monk.

No! He couldn't be thinking of moving when we were this close. I shook my head frantically so he'd get the message that moving would be a terrible idea. I should have told him about this boss in more detail.

That's when his eyes whipped open. The monk's that is. His relaxation was gone. Instead, his eyes were blazing with a white rage. His mustache strangely rippled as he got off his platform.

"How is this possible? How can you pitiful, human player possibly lasted this long?" He angrily and silently waked toward us.

So it had begun. I wondered what would be the catalyst this time.

"This is pathetic. Humans? Defeating me? As if I would ever let that happen. You don't even have the self respect to show your face to one far superior to you."

His last comment was directed towards me. I was the only one wearing a mask. He highlighted the obvious recipient as he slapped me across the face. -1 HP.

There was a gunshot followed by a scream. A bullet had travelled from Eric's pistol, through the monk's hand, and clipped the monk's shoulder. The white fire in his eyes burned brighter. His mustache waved and rippled longer. I stood up and stepped back.

**SakurAssassin**: Prepare yourself.

The monk started to transform. His body elongated. His skin grew black hard as steel. The hand with the hole grew claws and scratched the hardwood floor as he went on all fours. His orange monk clothes lay shredded on the ground from the sharp strange body. He wouldn't need the clothes anymore. He wasn't exactly human.

The monk was a true boss. A real dragon. He covered head to toe with shining black scales, yet his eyes glowed with just a hint of the white fire he possessed. His snout was filled with dagger like teeth. His long tail swished back and forth.

Eric shot at the dragon again. The bullets rebounded off the scales as hard as diamonds. I ducked out of the way of the ricochet. The dragon roared and started to fly in the now compact room. He wriggled though the paper window and broke through part of the wall. He tore through the whole temple, setting his home ablaze with white fire.

I grabbed Eric's hand and ran through the maze if hallways back outside. The fire from the temple was bright and hot. The fish in the ponds struggled as their home dwindled and evaporated away.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Dude, whatever happened to he wouldn't attack us?! He's a flippin dragon! You could have given me a bit of a warning!

**SakurAssassin**: He wasn't going to attack us then. I certain set of requirements had to be met first.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Ugh, this game and its requirements! He didn't even wait 24 hours like he said he would!

**SakurAssassin**: Well, you did just shoot him in the hand.

**UltimateHeroEric**: What else was I supposed to do? He attacked you!

**SakurAssassin**: I appreciate your revenge of the slap to my face, but how about we use that knight-like chivalry into a slaying the dragon.

Eric searched the skyline.

**UltimateHeroEric**: It's so bright! I can't see a thing. Can you tell where he is?

**SakurAssassin**: Look for the black sliver of a silhouette. We're going to need to get closer.

I helped Eric sneak closer to the temple. The closer we got, the hotter it felt. The heat caused our HP to drip away. Our movements were slow from the fire eating up the air.

**SakurAssassin**: You're going to have to aim for the white spot near his foreleg. It's his weak spot. He doesn't have any scales there. I'm going to have to ask you to take care of this. I don't think I can throw my knives up that far up. Aim carefully. We won't have many chances at this.

**UltimateHeroEric**: :D Are you saying you want me to save you, sassy pants? I didn't think this day would ever come!

He pointed his pistols toward the sky. They traced the dragon as he squiggled around in flight. Just a moment of concentration later, Eric took his shot.

The black dragon roared in rage. He now knew our location. He took a nose dive to where we were. Eric fired again and again as the dragon dropped closer. We were almost in the fire's range. The dragon took a deep breath in perpetration to incinerate us. I drew my sword, a vain thought that it might be able to protect Eric and me.

Eric shot one last time. The dragon was just a few yards above us now. The bullet finally met its mark. The dragon stopped mid-fall. His scales pixeled away one by dragon boss was gone. His fire was slowly smothered away.

Eric turned back towards me. Even his character was grinning from just defeating a boss.

**UltimateHeroEric**: There! I've slain the mean old dragon for you. You're safe now, citizen sassy pants :)

**SakurAssassin**: ...my hero


	14. Lie

**UltimateHeroEric**: Just type it again. Please! Pretty please!

**SakurAssassin**: Can't you just copy and paste our conversation from yesterday? It'll be the same thing.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Not quite the same. It won't have you feelings of awe and admiration.

**SakurAssassin**: I wasn't aware I showed those feelings of awe and admiration the first time.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Please? Pretty please with sushi and tuna and all the other smelly fish things you like on top?

**SakurAssassin**: You actually remembered.

**UltimateHeroEric**: I did, didn't I! I must be some sort of extraordinary, thoughtful person. A person who tends to think of others before himself. A person who will lay his life on the line to save those he cares about.

**SakurAssassin**: *sigh* You're my hero. Again. Are you happy now?

**UltimateHeroEric**: Extremely :) So, when are we going to get to this next boss so I can save you again, sassy pants?

**SakurAssassin**: You'll know it when you see it.

If my memory served me correctly, we should be able to see it any moment now. We were nearly to the border.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Holy introverts, sassy pants! China must really not like company.

We had made it. Right to the edge of China. The Great Wall stretched for miles on either side. We stood at the edge of the gap between the jungle and the sheer face of the wall.

**SakurAssassin**: Only certain company.

We could hear the wind blowing from the unknown on the other side of the wall.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Well...this is anticlimactic. This isn't the sort of deal where we have to wait for them to attack us, is it? Because that went so well last time.

**SakurAssassin**: We're not exactly at the boss's chamber yet.

**UltimateHeroEric**: So, what? We have to climb the wall?

**SakurAssassin**: Not very plausible. You don't exactly have your superpowers anymore, despite your undeniable heroness.

**UltimateHeroEric**: -.- I don't really see a door either. Do you?

**SakurAssassin**: Nope. No door.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Then, what are we supposed to do?

**SakurAssassin**: If we can't go through it, and we can't go over it...

**UltimateHeroEric**: Under it?

**SakurAssassin**: :)

I stepped out into the gap and closed the distance between the wall and me. Eric followed behind, watching for any attackers that might jump us.

Now which brick was it? I scanned the identical bricks stacked up before me. Let's see, if that rock was right there, then the brick I would need to press...there it was!

**SakurAssassin**: Watch your step.

The ground slid out from Eric's feet. He quickly shuffled to the side as the stairs to the passage way were revealed.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Ooh, creepy dark passages...

**SakurAssassin**: Do you have a problem?

**UltimateHeroEric**: No. No problem at all. I'm sure there's nothing to worry about.

**SakurAssassin**: Besides, you know, a boss trying to kill us.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Besides that. I'm sure there's not going to be mummies or anything. Let's just get this over with.

This wasn't exactly like Eric. He never wanted to just get a boss over with. Maybe my game wasn't as interesting as I thought. I don't know why that made me sad. Criticism was good. It would help improves my games for the future. Maybe because I had just felt like these moments in the game had been so perfect, if only from Eric's reactions. Funny how I judged my games worth based on the reactions from this one player rather than the statistics and data given to me.

We descended into the darkness. There was no light to guide us. We couldn't even see each other.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Oh God, why did it have to be so dark? Where are you? I can't see you, sassy pants.

**SakurAssassin**: I'm still glowing, aren't I?

**UltimateHeroEric**: Barely...oh there you are. It's easier to see you when you stand still.

**SakurAssassin**: Just try to focus and follow me. We should be getting there pretty soon, and there will be lots of light.

And sure enough, the fire light from the chamber shone through.

**UltimateHeroEric**: I thought you weren't supposed to go towards the light. At least, that's what they say in the movies.

He didn't seem to mind what he has just said. We both entered the room filled with light from the bright torches. We stood upon a ledge overlooking a sea of stone guardians.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Look at all these statues! Are we going to have to play a giant game of chess?

**SakurAssassin**: No, but you should probably keep your eyes open.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Cool. We've got all this light now, so we can go and explore more.

Eric took one of the torches hanging from the wall. You could the grind of stone against stone as the thousands of statues turned to face us.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Oh snap

The stone soldiers only needed one glance. One glance was all they needed to know that we weren't here on exactly friendly terms. And it probably didn't help that Eric had drawn his guns and started shooting for their heads.

**UltimateHeroEric**: The bullets keep on ricocheting like crazy! How the hell are we supposed to kill these things?

I jumped down into the stone filled chamber. I avoided the swinging limbs of the statues.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Sassy pants. Earth to sassy pants. Can you read me? I thought I said that the bullets were ricocheting like crazy. They might not be able to see you, but I won't be able to tell where my bullets fly.

**SakurAssassin**: Then you should probably stop shooting.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Is this one of those you know something I don't know because you're some hotshot game worker?

**SakurAssassin**: Perhaps

**UltimateHeroEric**: -.-

Eric stopped shooting and jumped down to join me in the stone mob.

**UltimateHeroEric**: I don't know what I'm doing...

He ducked and dodged every thrust of the statues.

**SakurAssassin**: Just don't attack and don't get hit.

**UltimateHeroEric**: What'll happen if I get hit?

**SakurAssassin**: It'll hurt

They were still trying to kill us, but their movements were slowing.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Dude, is it just me, or are we getting faster?

**SakurAssassin**: The statues are getting slower. Since we're not attacking any more, they have no reason to defend.

Eventually, all of the statuses stopped moving. They weren't in the same tight formation they were in before. I wondered what the next people who stumbled in here would think. We were able to limbo our way through the chamber easily enough.

At the other end of the chamber was another room. Besides for the entrance, the walls on the inside were lined with fire. The flames sprouted from the oil moat around the room and reached all the way up to the stone ceiling.

On a giant red cushion in the middle of the room rested a large long white dragon.

**UltimateHeroEric**: I am getting a major sense of déjà vu. Didn't we already beat this guy? I shot at that one patch, and boom, he was dead. I was all heroic and everything.

**SakurAssassin**: The other one was black. This is a different dragon.

They really were beautiful creatures when they weren't throwing the world into chaos. I ran my hand down the pearl scales of the sleeping dragon.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Isn't there a phrase let sleeping dragons lie?

**SakurAssassin**: Draco dormiens nunquam titillandus

**UltimateHeroEric**: See? You must have passed out on your keyboard or something. I don't understand that boring gibberish.

**SakurAssassin**: That was Latin for the phrase. But I sort of have to wake him up. He is the boss after all.

I found was I was searching for. On the dragons back near one of the hind legs was a single alabaster scale. With the tip of my finger, I rubbed it clockwise and counterclockwise until the body shivered beneath my touch. I retracted my hand, and the dragon shrunk. The scales folded under and under themselves, revealing a set of bright orange clothes. The clothes belonged to the body of a little boy, about six or seven. His hair was white just like his scales.

The last of the scales to go were in his eyelids. He peeled them back to reveal a black fire. The fire gazed from Eric to me and back.

"What of my brother?" the little boy asked. "There's no use telling lies. I can see into your pasts."

**UltimateHeroEric**: I killed him

His answer was simple, but I couldn't help but notice the bravery behind it. Eric couldn't have any idea what would happen next, but he didn't lie to this child.

"And of the temple?" He looked to me for this answer.

**SakurAssassin**: Burned to the ground on your brother's accord

He closed off the fire in his eyes. His closed eyelids caused his long eyelashes to rest on his cheek. "The world is filled with such violence and chaos. What is the point to all of this needless madness?"

**SakurAssassin**: It's true. The world is filled with disappointment. It can be so horrible, you can hardly stand it.

**UltimateHeroEric**: But sometimes, out of the chaos, something spectacular happens. The birth of new possibilities. Of new life. Of happiness you could never dreamed possible.

I looked to Eric. I didn't even need to finish out what I was typing. He had gotten it. He had understood. The cycle of destruction and rebirth.

Tears started streaming down the boy's face. Much more than was humanly possible. "Well then, may the world be be abolished to bring about this new life."

**SakurAssassin**: Run!

Eric and I barely made it out of the room before the boy's pixels exploded everywhere in a torrent of water. The levels were rising quickly.

**UltimateHeroEric**: How is that fire following us?

I almost forgot about that.

**SakurAssassin**: Oil and water don't exactly mix. The fire is floating in the oil.

**UltimateHeroEric**: That's lovely. I wonder what will get us first. Burned or drowned to death.

I climbed up onto the shoulders of one of the stone soldiers and leaped spryly from head to head. Eric followed my lead.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Uh...they're starting to come back to life

They were starting shift and move below us. Our balance on top was made that much harder

**SakurAssassin**: That's sort of the point.

As the statues came back to life, they swarmed around us. As they climbed on each other to get to us, they formed a barrier, a sort of damn to hold the water back. They wouldn't last long. We needed to get out of there quickly. The water was getting too high. Even on top of the statues, my feet were splashing.

We didn't have to climb the ledge to get back to the tunnel. We could swim there. We'd be able to run through the tunnel but not for long. Explosions resounded though my headphones.

**UltimateHeroEric**: What was that? Do they have a rock cannon?

**SakurAssassin**: Hurry up or we'll miss the opportunity!

The water was only up to our ankles in the tunnel, but it was climbing fast. Halfway through, it was already to our knees. By the time we got back to the stairs, it was already at our hips. The explosions were already more frequent.

**SakurAssassin**: Go on out ahead of me, Eric. You've got to see it.

Eric didn't question any further. Curiosity probably got the better of him. He crawled up the stairs ahead of me. He reached down and promptly pulled me up after him.

The water came up from the stairs and seeped out from the edges of the bricks of the Great Wall. The ground he rested on was made soggy and muddy. But most spectacularly of all were the lights. The fire from the oil had found the hidden reserve of fireworks. They broke through the eroding wall and exploded colorfully in the sky. Eric was in awe as he looked up at them.

**SakurAssassin**: So. What do you think?

**UltimateHeroEric**: Wow! This is fantastic! This game is fantastic! I don't think I have ever seen something so beautiful in my entire life.

He looked over to me, taking his eyes off the sky for once.

**UltimateHeroEric**: And you, sassy pants, are the most fantastic of all.

**SakurAssassin**: Really?

I could feel immense pride filling my chest. I don't think I had ever felt this happy, especially by just viewing another person's happiness. Eric really liked it. He really liked the game. The initial worries that I had were all washed away.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Really.

His character held his hand out to me. A little pop up appeared on my screen. "UltimateHeroEric would like to shake your hand."

I clicked "accept."

**AN: *snaps* Barely missed it. I wanted to get this out by the 10th for the Chinese New Year. The end of the year of the dragon. Who am I kidding, I just got really busy. Sorry you had to wait a little longer on this update. I hope you enjoyed! Feel free to leave me a little review. Or a big review. And have a happy lunar New Year!**


	15. Mountainception

"UltimateHeroEric would like to shake your hand."

**SakurAssassin**: Eric, I can't see what we're doing if these windows keep popping up for me to shake your hand.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Please! Just one more time! There's not much to see out here anyway.

It seemed from the moment the waters flooded and busted through the Great Wall that Eric hadn't stopped shaking my hand. The wall was far behind us now. We had walked through the gap and across the border into Russia. Not many people crossed this way due to that wall. And all the mountains. The blizzards and constant avalanches tended to discourage people.

I sighed and clicked accept. I watched as once again Eric's character stuck his hand out to mine. My character placed their hand in his and shook up and down three times.

**UltimateHeroEric**: XD I really can't get enough of this! That was awesome! I hope it was as good for you as it was for me.

**SakurAssassin**: I suppose. You really are the best virtual handshaker I've ever come across.

I didn't really have to mention he was the only person I had shook hands with.

**UltimateHeroEric**: I know ;) Oh look! I think I see the top!

Eric rushed ahead as he found yet another peak of the mountain we were climbing.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Aw man! Not again! Just what sort of place is this?

**SakurAssassin**: Matryoshka Mountain.

The mountain dipped the tiniest bit, then only climbed steeper and higher. The feat seemed daunting, but we had encountered this many times before. The important thing was to keep moving.

**UltimateHeroEric**: More like Mountainception. A mountain on top of a mountain on top of another mountain. Just how many of these "peaks" have we gotten to anyway?

To my shock, I couldn't remember. I was usually on top of these sort of things.

**SakurAssassin**: I can't remember. We really need to keep our eyes open, now.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Wait are you saying there's a boss all the way up here? A secret chamber? A monster? Unspeakable treasure?

**SakurAssassin**: All I'm saying is that we don't want to be caught off guard.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Aw sweetness! I'm rip raring to go! Come on, sassy pants!

Eric's character started to climb up the sheer face of the mountain.

**UltimateHeroEric**: We are flying through this game! This next boss should be a cinch!

**SakurAssassin**: I wouldn't exactly call Snowball a cinch.

**UltimateHeroEric**: lol what kind of name is Snowball? Not exactly a boss name that will get me quivering in my boots...

Usually I would be sensitive to the criticism, but I was quite sure that Eric would change his tune once he saw Snowball.

**UltimateHeroEric**: So...sassy pants...what did you want to be when you were growing up?

**SakurAssassin**: Why the sudden questions?

**UltimateHeroEric**: No reason. Just to pass the time. Plus I want to know more about you.

**SakurAssassin**: Video game designer

**UltimateHeroEric**: I probably should have guessed that. You being a worker for Nihonda. Do you think you're close to get what you want?

**SakurAssassin**: If I keep working hard.

I couldn't exactly tell him I was the Lead Game Designer. Though I suppose if I didn't continue to work hard, I wouldn't stay Lead Game Designer despite my relations.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Any cool game ideas?

**SakurAssassin**: Confidential

**UltimateHeroEric**: Aw come on! You were doing so well.

**SakurAssassin**: Wouldn't want to spoil anything. You'll just have to buy the games and see if and when they come out.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Well, if I had the game and asked if you had designed it, would you tell me?

**SakurAssassin**: Confidential :)

**UltimateHeroEric**: You're so mysterious...

**SakurAssassin**: And let me guess. You wanted to be a superhero?

**UltimateHeroEric**:...still do. You know me so well, sassy pants ;)

Eric reached the peak before I did. He went over the edge and stretched his hands down to me. I took it and he pulled me up.

"UltimateHeroEric would like to shake your hand."

The window blocked the scene of this peak. I sighed again and quickly clicked accept. No matter how annoying it got, I couldn't exactly say no.

As the hand shaking sequence, I saw the scene that sent my adrenaline pumping. We had reached the last peak.

**SakurAssassin**: Eric, look out for Snowball!

**UltimateHeroEric**: Where?

Eric whipped his head around, looking everywhere besides the place most important.

**SakurAssassin**: The ground! If you find him, don't take your eyes off him!

There was movement from the corner to the screen. Gotcha! I made my character point to indicate to Eric the first boss to be encountered in Russia.

**UltimateHeroEric**:...that's a hamster.

A cute little white hamster blinked up at us from the snow.

**UltimateHeroEric**: You can't be serious...he's too cute.

Eric started to turn his head towards me.

**SakurAssassin**: Don't look away! Whatever you do, don't look away!

That's when it happened. Did Eric really think that things would be that simple on a place called Matryoshka Mountain? The hamster opened it's mouth as far as it possibly could. His white fur ripped down the side, revealing a set of even thicker white fur. Two long ears popped up, alert, as the hamster facade was ripped away.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Okay, that was really creepy, but a bunny really isn't that intimidating either.

The white rabbit wiggled its nose a few times. He opened his mouth as far as it could, revealing a set of sharp, cruel teeth.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Holy shit! Where's the holy hand grenade when you need it?

I laughed to myself. This reaction was much better. This was far from over. The bunny was ripped apart much like the hamster. Little Snowball was now a whopping polar bear. Eric and I slowly got nearer to the edge as Snowball started stalking us.

Snowball ripped open one more time to reveal his true form: a ten foot tall Yeti. His long white fur-hair whipped about in the winter wind. Neither of us moved as he got closer. He was just about there...

**SakurAssassin**: Eric, shoot!

**UltimateHeroEric**: You don't have to ask me twice.

Eric had already started to load his handguns. He aimed and fired two shots at the monster. They were loud, but of course did nothing to him. They achieved the purpose I intended.

There was a loud crack as the snow and ice began to crumble beneath us. Even Snowball looked around confused to what was going on. The ground finally gave way to all of our weight. The avalanche began forming all around us. There really was nothing to do besides fall. And of course grab Eric's hand.

We crumbled down the mountain, peak after peak. I grabbed hold of one of the trees. I was able to maneuver it, so I would just have to slide down the hill. Eric was able to get a hold of the tree as well, and we tobogganed all the way down the hill. We lost Snowball long ago in the furious snow.

Even after he hit the bottom of the mountain, we slid for a few hundred feet. We were fast approaching a vast field of sunflowers. Once the tree hit the tall stalks of the tall flowers, neither Eric nor I could keep our grip any longer. We rolled and tumbled into the flowers. Eric landed right on top of me.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Dude, that was sick! How is any of that possible?

**SakurAssassin**: It's a video game. Anything could happen. I told you to look out for Snowball.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Ugh, that's right. I didn't get him. Does that mean we're going to have to climb up that thing again? :(

**SakurAssassin**: You don't have to kill Snowball to beat him. Escaping with our lives is impressive enough. Why would you want to kill a sweet innocent hamster anyway?

**UltimateHeroEric**: :P Then why did I have to keep my eye on him in the first place.

**SakurAssassin**: Because if you didn't, you wouldn't be alive now. He'll blend into his snow environment. You wouldn't see him coming.

**UltimateHeroEric**: So who technically beat him? This boss would be the tie breaker. We're both 2/4 bosses.

**SakurAssassin**: We both beat this one. We couldn't have done it without each other, anyway. Consider it tied at 3/5.

**UltimateHeroEric**: :) Cool. We're both winning. That makes us like equals. I really like how this has been working out. I just wish you would trust me more. I would never betray you or be really creepy. I just want to know more about you because I really like you, you know.

Well, we had been partners for two and a half countries. If he didn't at least like me a little bit, we wouldn't be working very well together. He had to like me. We were winning, afterall.

**SakurAssassin**: Well, that's good I guess. That we can be sort of friends. That just shows we're good teammates, though I'm not going to tell you everything.

There was a bit of silence after I sent that. I must have hurt his feelings or something.

**SakurAssassin**: If it makes you feel any better, you know me better than most people I know.

"UltimateHeroEric would like a handshake."

**SakurAssassin**: Eric...I can't give you a handshake with you pinning me like this.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Oh right.

He got up, and I was able to shake his hand. I'm sure he would get over the handshaking thing eventually. Though knowing him, it would probably take a long time. I didn't really mind, as long as it didn't cause either of us to die and lose our streak.

Surprisingly, I couldn't really picture playing this game without him. He brought an element, I couldn't really point it out, that I wanted every game to have. I was having more fun than I had ever had in any other game. Being here, shaking hands with him in the sunflowers made me feel happy. Really happy.

**AN: *comes out from under her rock* It's been two weeks since I updated this already? Sorry, guys. Things have been pretty busy in SarahTonin land. I hope you enjoyed this update!**


	16. Quest

**SakurAssassin**: Okay, a bit more to the left.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Are you sure there's a village around here? All I can see are sunflowers...and an ass...

**UltimateHeroEric**: assin.

I rolled my eyes. I should have seen that coming. The only way to get to the little Russian village was to go straight through the giant field of sunflowers. I stood on top of Eric's shoulders so I could help see over the ridiculously tall flowers.

**SakurAssassin**: You know, I still haven't broken in my sword...

**UltimateHeroEric**: From this angle, it looks like you have a hole in your sassy pants.

**SakurAssassin**: Just put me down already.

The view on my screen whirred around. The colors blurred as the scene changed and rotated back.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Aw, come on! It's just a bit of fun! Aren't you having fun, sassy pants?

**SakurAssassin**: Oodles. Just stop spinning and put me down.

And then he started jumping.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Lighten up! I'm not going to let you down until you say you're having a good time.

**SakurAssassin**: Of course I am. What could be more fun than spinning around so much that I want to puke?

He finally let me down. It was nice to be looking at only area of space for once.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Shaking my hand of course!

Without fail, the little window popped up on my screen. I clicked accept and we went through the whole sequence again.

**SakurAssassin**: I guess the spinning thing will have to be a close second.

**UltimateHeroEric**: As it should be. As it should be :) But seriously, are we there yet?

**SakurAssassin**: Almost.

The sunflowers cleared away revealing a small little town. Streams of smoke billowed out of the chimneys from the wood shingled roofs. Most of the roofs had seen too much ware from heavy snowfall. NPCs trudged by each other on the street, their virtual life practically drained from their systems. I turned my invisibility back on.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Well, this place sure is perky...

Eric really did have impeccable timing. At that moment, a female NPC came bounding around the corner. A VERY female NPC. Her boobs bounced up and down as she ran towards us. You could practically hear them rebounding with every footstep.

"Players! Players! Oh, stop! Please stop!" she called out.

For once it seemed like Eric was stunned to silence. He didn't type a single word as the NPC stopped to catch her breath in front of us. When she recovered, she smiled at us and held out the basket she carried in the crook of her arm.

"Would you like to buy some sunflowers?" she asked cheerfully.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Uh, no thanks. I just had to crawl through like a bazillion of them. There's only so many flowers a man like me can take. I'm pretty sure I'm set for the rest of my life.

"Oh, but please mister! It's a good deal! Only 75 dollars a flower! You won't find a better price anywhere else in town!" she said desperately.

**UltimateHeroEric**: $75?! No way! If I really wanted a flower I would have picked it myself!

A knife was pressed against Eric's throat. A smaller NPC had come up behind Eric, her face peeking out over his shoulder. Her long light blonde hair was died back in a dark due ribbon across the top of her was cute, but her most distinguishing feature was the sinister look on her face.

"You should buy the flower, mister," she rasped out. "It's not everyday an offer like this is made."

"And it's for a good cause!" the first NPC continued.

"Yes. Big brother and I are getting married soon," the one on Eric's back said. She pressed the knife closer and Eric lost a point of HP.

**UltimateHeroEric**: This is wrong on so many levels. Is she a boss? Kill it! Kill it with fire! Break in your new sword or something!

"Shiver, I don't think that..." the first NPC started.

"Shut up, Shake!" She pressed the knife further, and Eric lost 5 more HP. "Is true love such a horrible thing? Brother and I will be married, I know it."

**UltimateHeroEric**: Get it off, get it off, get it off, get it off, get it off, get it off!

**SakurAssassin**: She's not some sort of bug, Eric. She'll get off you if you just buy the flower.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Could have fooled me. Are you serious?! It's a rip off! Did you seriously just miss the giant field of sunflowers we had to crawl through?

**SakurAssassin**: Trust me. Just buy the flower.

**UltimateHeroEric**: ... This is one of those incidents where you know something I don't know, isn't it?

**SakurAssassin**: ...maybe. Or maybe I just think the flowers are pretty.

**UltimateHeroEric**: On second thought, Shake, I think I will buy the flower.

Shake's eyes went wide. Almost as wide her smile. Her eyes started to shine. She teared up a bit.

"Oh thank you! Thank you so much!" She handed Eric the flower, and some of the money he earned from beating bosses drained away. "You have no idea how much you've helped us. Ever since brother disappeared..."

"Big Brother didn't disappear. He'll be back any moment now," Shiver said. She put her knife away and stepped back from Eric.

"He left two weeks ago trying to find a new source of water. We used to just go up the mountain to get snow, but..."

**UltimateHeroEric**: Snowball

Shake nodded.

"Big Brother wasn't afraid of Snowball. Snowball would never go near him when brother went up the mountain," Shiver said offhandedly.

"But now that he's gone, we don't really have any food. We get what we can and just live day to day," Shake said. "That and we do what we can to avoid the..."

"Shake!" Shiver interrupted. "Don't tell these strangers more than they need to know. I'm sure brother will take care of it once he's back."

Shake clamped my mouth shut. Her lower lip was quivering.

**UltimateHeroEric**: So...you want me to go find your missing brother?

"Would you?!" Shake looked like she was about to cry again from happiness. "We would be very grateful!"

**UltimateHeroEric**: Wait, I never said I would.

"Please! Neither of us can leave the village!" Shake said. She looked to her sister Shiver. "Brother was the only one of us who could ever leave."

"If I could, I'd follow him to the ends of the Earth," Shiver said.

**UltimateHeroEric**: If I were him, I don't think I'd mind going missing.

Shiver glared at him. "He's not missing. Big Brother loves me. He'll be back home to me any day now," Shiver said, but she did look a bit more relieved. "He'll be back and everything will be alright."

**UltimateHeroEric**: So, if I go find him and bring him back, you'll be happy and won't feel the need to climb on backs and threaten to slice random player's throats?

Shiver allowed that, shrugged, and nodded.

**UltimateHeroEric**: I'll see what I can do. I guess I'll see you ladies later. Try not to stab anyone while I'm gone!

"No promises," Shiver said quietly.

"But wait! Who are you?" Shake called out as we started to walk away. Eric turned back and waved.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Just your friendly neighborhood Ultimate Hero Man!

"What the hell is he talking about?" Shiver said.

"I really don't know," Shake said to her sister. "It must be a player thing. Now let's see if we can swindle more people."

* * *

**UltimateHeroEric**: Well, I'm sure that Shake can bring all the boys to the yard. ;)

**UltimateHeroEric**: It's a shame we had to say ta ta. ;)

**SakurAssassin**: Are you quite done with the boob puns yet?

**UltimateHeroEric**: I wouldn't mind being a deer caught in those headlights ;)

**UltimateHeroEric**: Alright, I'm done. You aren't mad at me for taking this quest, are you?

We had gotten quite a ways away from the little village. We wandered aimlessly across the tundra. Strange metal objects twisted and pierced through the ice and snow. Snow covered the ones closer to the village. The further we went, the taller and less rusty they stood. Other than those, our footsteps were the only indication of life.

**SakurAssassin**: No. You did exactly what you should have. I couldn't have done it any better myself.

**UltimateHeroEric**: :D Thanks! Oh, I almost forgot!

Eric took the sunflower out of his inventory and handed it to me.

**UltimateHeroEric**: For you, my dear sassy pants. :)

**SakurAssassin**: Uh, thanks?

**UltimateHeroEric**: You thought it was pretty, right?

**SakurAssassin**: I'll take it if you really don't want it.

I received the sunflower for UltimateHeroEric and out it in my inventory.

**UltimateHeroEric**: :P You know you want it, sassy pants. I got it just for you. It's a bit strange. This is the first time we've encountered a quest in the game.

**SakurAssassin**: Russia can be a bit strange. Especially when it comes to quests and bosses.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Ah ha! So there is a boss out here! Are we going to find the boss before or after Shiver and Shake's brother?

**SakurAssassin**: In Russia, you don't find boss.

A hand shot up through the snow. The color was gray, and flesh and skin was peeling away. It felt around a bit before it found purchase around Eric's boot.

**SakurAssassin**: Boss finds you.

**AN: Just thought I should let you guys know what awesome fans you are :) Seriously. This is officially my most followed, most favorited, most reviewed, and most average reviewed story. And you know what? You see that picture? That lovely picture in the top left(?) corner? One of my lovely fans drew that for me. :) Just for me. You can tell because it has my name written all over it. So HUGE shout out to siveren! I love the pictures! She made other drawings for Critical Hit, so if you want to see them, please go to her deviant art page! Okay, that's about it! Please review and favorite and follow and other lovely thing. Or draw me pictures :) I like those. They make me feel special and want to write faster. Bye!**


	17. Cowardly

**UltimateHeroEric**: Holy shit!

He took out his guns and shot at the hand coming through the with the hand riddled with holes, it continued to pull its way out of the ice. A wrist followed the hand, followed by an arm and shoulder. A leg kicked out opposite of the arm. The arm and the leg flapped about, revealing the outline for the body.

Eric shot everywhere. Spots of black ooze seeped from the body out onto the snow. The dark color permeated through all it touched.

**SakurAssassin**: Eric, what are you doing?

Eric didn't respond. He just kept shooting.

**SakurAssassin**: Eric, you're wasting ammo.

Eric continued to shoot. The body barely had anything left, but it still continued to move. The zombie's head and damp dark brown hair appeared through the snow. He let out an unearthly groan. Ants and cockroaches crawled out from between his lips and died almost instantly from the cold. The corpse got its other arm out of the snow and reached toward me. I jumped back.

**SakurAssassin**: Eric!

Eric seemed to regain his mind or something because he shot the thing clean through the middle of his forehead.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Sorry

**SakurAssassin**: Is there something wrong?

**UltimateHeroEric**: I'm fine. It just...it took more than I expected. That's all.

**SakurAssassin**: What? Why didn't you shoot it in the head in the first place? You have seen zombie movies, right?

Nothing.

**SakurAssassin**: Eric?

**SakurAssassin**: Do we have a bad connection? If it's a network problem, I could find a way to fix it really quick.

**UltimateHeroEric**: No.

I sighed. This was frustrating. Why wasn't he talking to me?

**SakurAssassin**: I'm a bit confused. Did I say something weird or wrong? Because if I did, I'm really sorry.

**UltimateHeroEric**: I meant no as in I've never seen a zombie movie.

That left me stunned. It took me a while to regain movement in my fingertips.

**SakurAssassin**: But you've played other games with zombies in it.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Yeah, I just shot them until they stopped moving. I guess I didn't notice they didn't die until I shot them in the head. I...I don't really do the scary movies and stuff.

**SakurAssassin**: But you've played far scarier games. I saw them on your records. Did someone else play them for you then?

**UltimateHeroEric**: No, I played them. I can do the games just fine. It's just the movies. There's just something about them, you know?

**UltimateHeroEric**: I guess it's just...you know in the movies, all that scary horrible stuff is happening to the people and you can't do a damn thing about it. All you can do is sit back and watch the whole thing play out. In the games, I'm still terrified, but at least I can do something about it.

**UltimateHeroEric**: You probably think I'm some kind of wussy. None of that stuff is real. I just am terrified of being helpless when people need me.

**SakurAssassin**: You're not a wussy. You're actually one of the bravest people I know.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Thanks, sassy pants.

**UltimateHeroEric**: So was that the boss?

**SakurAssassin**: Oh. No, it wasn't. He wouldn't be that easy to beat.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Right. That was supposed to be easy.

I had just made things worse. For once, I really didn't know how to make things better. I wasn't the best at socializing, but I really really wanted to let Eric know that it was okay. It was okay for him to be scared. I was there after all. We could get through this trial together.

**UltimateHeroEric**: What are all these things anyway? They're not grave markers, are they?

Eric went over to one of the steel rods sticking out of the ground. He nudged one with his boot.

**SakurAssassin**: Those are water pipes.

Eric turned the handle to the faucet. Nothing came out.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Well they look pretty useless. These zombies aren't exactly the smartest things.

**SakurAssassin**: They are searching for brains...never mind. There are going to be zombies ahead. Do you think you can handle it?

**UltimateHeroEric**: Yeah, I think so. As long as I remember to keep shooting them in the head.

**SakurAssassin**: You know, if you ever need any help, I'm your partner. I'll be here for you.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Right. Partners.

"UltimateHeroEric would like to shake your hand."

At the moment, I never felt a more appropriate time for a handshake. I quickly clicked the accept. Eric was my partner for the zombie apocalypse. We were going to face this together.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Alright. Let's do this.

* * *

There were probably about fifty or so zombies in the field. They were triggered to come out of the snow when we got too close. Some of them were definitely harder to kill than others. And by more difficult, I don't mean they were better fighters. Some of them were, but that wasn't the disturbing part. Some of the zombies were women. Some of them were children. I thought about how Eric must have been doing. Maybe I had gone too far this time.

**UltimateHeroEric**: That wasn't too bad, I guess. Better to put them quickly out of their misery. Thanks for the tip, sassy pants.

**SakurAssassin**: It was nothing.

The wind had started to pick up. The loose snow started to blow around.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Is that another one back there?

There was a figure shadowed by the snow in the distance. You could see him thrusting something into the ground again and again.

**UltimateHeroEric**: He's moving too fast to be a zombie. Might be another player. Maybe he doesn't know how to kill a zombie either.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Oy!

Eric sent the message out to the immediate area. The figure turned toward us and started coming our way.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Do you need any help?

As he got closer, you could see the smile on his face. His blonde hair was just a shade or two darker than the snow. His purple eyes stuck out in the colorless world.

"You got it backwards, my friend. You don't help me. I help you!"

**UltimateHeroEric**: I don't like the vibes on this guy.

The message was meant just for me.

**SakurAssassin**: Maybe you shouldn't.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Look, buddy, I was only trying to be helpful. I'm not the one out in the middle of nowhere by myself.

The guy chuckled to himself. "Silly player, yes you are!"

**UltimateHeroEric**: Oh, right. You can't see sassy pants. You called me a player. Does that make you an NPC?

"And they thought I was crazy." The light haired NPC had a water pipe in his hand. He stabbed the snow deep so that the pipe stood up straight. "They said, 'Shudder, you can't go out there. There's no water. There is only death.'" He turned the nozzle, but nothing came out. He frowned. "There is no water, but I've found no death either. I'd say I'm doing pretty well so far."

**UltimateHeroEric**: Shudder, was it? How long have you been out here?

"Hmm. About two weeks, I suppose. Why?" Shudder responded.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Sassy pants, there's definitely something strange going on around here. He shouldn't be alive two weeks without water.

**SakurAssassin**: This is a game, Eric. Is that the only thing you found strange? No coincidences?

**UltimateHeroEric**: Why didn't you go back to the village, Shudder?

"I can't go back. Not like this." There was a silence. The happy smile from Shudder's face melted away. "You think I'm a failure, too."

From beneath his jacket, Shudder pulled out another pipe. He swung at Eric, but Eric ducked out of the way.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Dude, calm down! I don't want to shoot you.

"It does not matter. Nothing you can do or say can hurt me."

Eric did shoot. He shot Shudder in the stomach. Shudder stopped for a moment. He dropped his pipe and held the wound for a moment. He moved his hands to reveal a viscous black ooze.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Well aren't you just a little bastard.

Of all the words Eric could have used to describe him, "little" was not the word. Shudder stood up taller after he picked his pipe back up.

**UltimateHeroEric**: All those NPCs. You're the one who turned them into zombies, didn't you.

"I did it to save them. Like this, we don't have to worry about food or water or the support of players. They came out here seeking death. I saved them. I made them invincible."

**UltimateHeroEric**: You killed them!

"I gave them a new life. I gave them hope. I became a hero."

**UltimateHeroEric**: Shut the hell up!

Eric shot at Shudder's head. Shudder used the pipe to deflect the bullets. Shudder held a tight grip on the pipe, but that wasn't the reason it didn't fly from his hands. Shudder had used his own ooze to freeze himself to his metal pipe. While Eric was reloading, Shudder whacked the gun from Eric's hand. Eric scrambled to the ground, out of the way of the pipe and towards his lost weapon.

"It's no use, da? You should just give up and become one with us. Live forever and thrive here in Mother Russia's home," Shudder said, a little smile returning to his face. He thought he was winning.

It was time now. I turned off my invisibility. I got the sunflower out of my inventory and held it out in front of me.

Shudder stopped. He turned to look at me and the flower. Confusion and then recognition registered on his face.

**SakurAssassin**: You remember them, don't you. Your sisters, Shiver and Shake.

Shudder wanted to take it from me. He shook his hands, but he couldn't get the pipe off.

**SakurAssassin**: They're the reason you can't go back and "save" your village. What would they think? The brother they always relied on to take care of them. Even now they wait for you. They never thought you were a failure. Brother will take care of them. Brother will take care of the zombies. Brother will save them. What would they think if they knew that you were one of them?

**SakurAssassin**: You know that you haven't saved anyone. You know you wouldn't want this sort of "life" for your sisters. So you just let them think you're still trying, though we all know you gave up long ago. You let them keep their faith.

And that's when the miracle happened. Something you never see in the movies. Shudder started to cry. He realized he really could never go back. That life full of sunflowers and happiness was forever out of his grasp. He looked away from the sunflower to his pipe. His tears crystallized on his face. His mouth set. He closed his eyes. He held his pipe out and slammed it against his head. He screamed out in pain, but let the pipe fall again and again.

He collapsed onto the snow. One of his hands had ripped free from his pipe, leaving it exposed and raw. I placed the sunflower in that hand as he started to pixel away.

* * *

**UltimateHeroEric**: That was dark.

**SakurAssassin**: Too much?

**UltimateHeroEric**: No. No. This isn't a kid's game after all.

**UltimateHeroEric**: I can't believe you gave that creepy coward the flower I gave you.

**SakurAssassin**: It was from his sisters. He was at least able to save them from some grief.

**UltimateHeroEric**: I could have gotten him, you know. While you were distracting him. I wasn't scared or anything.

**SakurAssassin**: I know you weren't.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Good. As long as you know I wasn't scared of that fake hero.

That's when I realized what I finally had to do. How to let Eric know. I just had to do it.

**SakurAssassin**: Betrayal

**UltimateHeroEric**: Huh?

**SakurAssassin**: That's what I'm scared of. I'm scared that if I let anyone near me, if I let anyone see me exposed, that they'll hurt me. That they'll abandon me and leave me alone. That they'll steal a part of me that I'll never be able to recover. That's why I usually like to be alone. If I don't let anyone near, no one can hurt me.

There was a moment of nothingness after I sent the message. I waited anxiously. Had I said too much? Not enough? I could feel myself slowly start to panic. Had I blown it already?

**UltimateHeroEric**: I wish I could be there for you. So that you'd never have to feel scared ever again. I don't know how you got that way, but I want to save you from ever thinking that way again. Sassy pants, I hope you know...I would never ever ever ever betray you. Ever. Seriously ever. I don't know that much about you yet, but I know that I already can't leave you that easily.

I don't know why, but my eyes started to tear. I wasn't sad. I was actually very happy. And relieved. So much relief. I wiped my eyes before returning to my keyboard.

**SakurAssassin**: Thank you, Eric.

I realized the words somehow weren't enough. He didn't know how much I had really needed that. How much I had needed him in that moment. It almost made me laugh. Of course. That's what I would have to do. I could practically imagine it. The little window popping up on Eric's screen from across the continental US.

"SakurAssassin would like to shake your hand."

It didn't take long for the sequence to start up. It was a bit strange to watch it from the initiators perspective.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Anytime, sassy pants :)


	18. Secrets

The snow and ice started to thin out the further south and west we got. Trees became less and less uncommon. More and more signs of life became apparent. It took us a long while to get this far.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Hey, sassy pants?

**SakurAssassin**: Yeah?

**UltimateHeroEric**: You're not like going to tell anybody, right?

**SakurAssassin**: Tell anybody what?

**UltimateHeroEric**: That I'm like seriously scared of horror movies. It's not good for my reputation.

**SakurAssassin**: What reputation? It's not like I have anyone to tell.

**UltimateHeroEric**: I can't just let anyone know. You are sworn to secrecy.

**SakurAssassin**: Alright. As long as you don't tell anyone who I really am.

**UltimateHeroEric**: I don't even know who you really are!

**SakurAssassin**: And you are doing an excellent job. :)

**UltimateHeroEric**: -.-

**UltimateHeroEric**: We should have a secret handshake.

**SakurAssassin**: Our handshakes aren't exactly secret...

**UltimateHeroEric**: Then we should just hide and shake hands!

Eric ran over to the side of the road and hid behind a tree. He motioned for me to come over as well.

**SakurAssassin**: One thing I will tell what few people I talk to is how incredibly eccentric my partner is.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Just get over here!

I made my way over to Eric's tree. I crouched down right in front of him.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Are you ready for this?

**SakurAssassin**: Do you really have to ask anymore?

**UltimateHeroEric**: Alright, Alright :) Just making sure. We are swearing our eternal secrecy here.

"UltimateHeroEric would like to shake your hand."

I let him wait it out.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Oh come on, sassy pants! Don't leave me hanging!

**SakurAssassin**: This is a very serious matter, Eric. I could jeopardize your precious reputation if I don't think this through properly.

**UltimateHeroEric**: And I swear that if I ever find out who or what you really are, butt ugly or alien, you will always be sassy pants to me. At least on the gaming forum you'll be safe. I'll call you all sorts of different names everywhere else.

**SakurAssassin**: Close enough.

I clicked accept and we went through the handshake sequence.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Whew, what a relief! You know I was just kidding about the butt ugly alien thing. I wouldn't say that in real life.

**SakurAssassin**: Good because you would be lying.

"What do you two think you're doing over there!" someone shouted out.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Is he talking to us? You're invisible, aren't you? You've still got that shiny sparkly stuff all over you.

**SakurAssassin**: I knew we were getting close to the border.

I headed back out to the road first. Eric followed after me. I let my invisibility fade away as we went further down the path. This border wasn't like the last. There was no wall separating the two countries. There was just a chain fence and some guards on post.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Are we going to jump the border this time too?

**SakurAssassin**: Don't even think about it. Those guards would shoot you dead.

**UltimateHeroEric**: :P I could take them.

**SakurAssassin**: We've earned enough money from all those bosses. We can pay to cross the border like all the other gamers.

**UltimateHeroEric**: :O We're going to cross legally for once?

**SakurAssassin**: It was bound to happen sometime. And technically, we have crossed legally across all the borders. We just didn't take the ordinary way.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Pfff, who needs ordinary?

We got closer and the guards stood at attention.

**SakurAssassin**: Good afternoon officers.

"State your business clearly and precisely."

**UltimateHeroEric**: Whoa dudes, sassy pants was only trying to be friendly. You could be a bit nicer.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Can I shoot one? Why are they ignoring me?

**SakurAssassin**: The guards only react to certain keywords. They wouldn't be very efficient if they responded to every little bit of nonsense.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Are you calling me nonsense, sassy pants? O.o Because I can show you nonsense.

**SakurAssassin**: Please. No. That won't be necessary.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Really it will be no trouble at all. My brother told me some crazy stuff when I was younger that my mind can't seem to burn away...I think he wrote them down in his diary or something. I could go get it really quick.

**SakurAssassin**: Eric, please. Have mercy. I'm sorry.

**UltimateHeroEric**: You better be :)

"Quickly. We don't have all day," the guard said.

**SakurAssassin**: Right, we'd like to cross the border into Germany please.

"That'll be 20 dollars. Each," he emphasized.

I nodded and the money drained from our accounts.

**UltimateHeroEric**: That sure was a lot of fuss for twenty bucks.

**SakurAssassin**: We did walk in from Russia. They've got to be careful who they let in. Wouldn't want another zombie apocalypse.

* * *

The roads in Germany are actually pretty nice. Clean, organized, straight forward. Landscape wasn't that bad either. There were gently rolling hills on either side with small white flowers blooming.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Hey sassy pants?

**SakurAssassin**: Yeah?

**UltimateHeroEric**: Why are you so concerned about your identity?

I sighed. Somehow I knew it would come to this.

**SakurAssassin**: Confidential

**UltimateHeroEric**: You don't need to keep yourself closed up like that. I don't think it's good for you :( If it's because of your job, you can just say so. But I really doubt they're that strict.

**SakurAssassin**: If I said it was entirely because of my job, I'd be lying.

**SakurAssassin**: There's a lot of people out there who think they know who you are. They twist your identity around to make you someone you're not. They become obsessed with details and creep over every little aspect. I'd rather they not follow me here. I want at least one place where I can be free.

**UltimateHeroEric**: You know I'm not one of those people, right? I can totally understand why you want to be free. Anyone would.

**SakurAssassin**: Yeah, but that doesn't make it any less hard.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Have you ever tried setting them straight? Explaining who you really are and how they're wrong? It doesn't have to be all at once, if that's too intimidating. You're not doing yourself any favors keeping yourself locked away. You have the right to be yourself with everyone else.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Sorry. I'm spouting all of this psychological mumbo jumbo. I said I wasn't going to be ridiculous. You don't have to say anything you don't want to.

**SakurAssassin**: It's okay. I think you might have a point. I'm not exactly used to being open.

**SakurAssassin**: Here goes something. Hello! My name is sassy pants and I am nineteen years old.

**UltimateHeroEric**: 19? Really? That's only like a year older than me! More like a few months actually. That's awesome!

**SakurAssassin**: Really?

**UltimateHeroEric**: Yeah! We have more in common than I thought. Like the same birth decade!

**SakurAssassin**: You couldn't have thought I was that old.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Nah, but it's still nice to know you're not like thirty. Or seven. We're just a couple of teenagers playing games :)

**SakurAssassin**: But now that you know a bit more, you really have to keep this a secret.

**UltimateHeroEric**: My lips and fingers are sealed ;)

**SakurAssassin**: Hey Eric?

**UltimateHeroEric**: Yeah?

**SakurAssassin**: You are really inquisitive today. Any particular reason why?

**UltimateHeroEric**: It's just one of those days, you know? The kind of day where you want to try to understand the beautiful mysteries of the world.

What? I could feel my face grow warm. Did he just call me a beautiful mystery? No. It was probably just the weird wording. I was thinking way too far into this.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Oh look, is that a city?

Eric was looking out to the distance farther up the road. What he said was probably nothing.

**SakurAssassin**: Yeah. That should be Berlin.

**UltimateHeroEric**: You going to put your invisibility back on?

**SakurAssassin**: Nah. Things will be a bit easier if I don't.

As we bit closer to the city, there were little buildings scattered far outside. You could see gamers running and shooting at targets.

**UltimateHeroEric**: What are those things?

**SakurAssassin**: Training camps. They're an easy was to raise certain stats or if you want to get more balanced.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Oh. That's cool. As long as they don't have a camp for improving concentration.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Get it? Concentration camp? Because we're in Germany? :D

**SakurAssassin**: No, but maybe we should put you in a camp to improve your sense of humor.

**UltimateHeroEric**: :P My sense of humor is fine.

**SakurAssassin**: Really? Because I can Nazi how this is so funny. I think I must Axis you to stop.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Okay, now those were pretty bad. Point taken.

**SakurAssassin**: I should hope so.

There were a lot of strong players in the city. A lot of vendors sold more upper level weapons to accommodate for the need. A lot of them looked up when we passed by, but did nothing else.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Why aren't they freaking out like the other people in cities? Do they not know who we are?

**SakurAssassin**: The players here are more of the strong, silent type. They know who we are. They just keep to themselves. They're probably trying to devise a way to knock us off our one and two spot.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Haha, they can try

**SakurAssassin**: And they will. You're more likely to get knocked down than me.

**UltimateHeroEric**: You're not invincible. I got you once.

**SakurAssassin**: That was under very special circumstances.

**UltimateHeroEric**: You calling me special, sassy pants? :)

**SakurAssassin**: Very special.

**UltimateHeroEric**: By the way, why would it be easier for you to remain visible here?

**SakurAssassin**: Oh right! We've got to go sign up for a tournament!

**UltimateHeroEric**: Tournament? Alright! Time for some good old-fashioned fighting! Mano a mano.

I got over to the listing and put our usernames down.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Wait, if this is a tournament, wouldn't that mean we'd have to fight each other?

**SakurAssassin**: Nope. I signed us up for the tag team tournament. We'll just switch out.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Not unless I can handle them all by myself. :) You just sit back and relax, sassy pants. I've got this all taken care of.

**AN: Hey guys! Guess what! We're one review away from 100 on this baby! *throws confetti* Thank you so much! I would give the hundredth reviewer something special, but I really can't do much. Anywho, celebrating aside, I've got this lovely little poll on my profile page. You should definitely check it out if you like what I've been writing and want to see more!**


	19. Invincible and Invisible

"Each party needs to choose one player to compete first for each round. That player must remain fighting until they are unable to or they tag themselves out. Once they leave, they can't return to the fight until the next round," the announcer said. Quite a bit of a crowd had gathered in the arena. A bit more were sitting in the stands of the stadium, NPC and players alike.

**UltimateHeroEric**: That'll be me. You won't have to do a single thing, sassy pants.

**SakurAssassin**: Really? You sure? I guess I'll leave everything to you then.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Little do they know, these players got tickets to the gun show. Kapow!

His character flexed his arm, one of his guns firm in his hand.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Kapow! :)

He raised up his other arm so that they were matching.

**SakurAssassin**: Oh yes, very impressive. The biceps on your character are wonderfully programmed.

**UltimateHeroEric**: I worked hard to train these babies. It takes serious skill.

**SakurAssassin**: Serious skill, huh? I'd like to see that.

**UltimateHeroEric**: In a minute, the tournament hasn't started yet ;)

"All weapons can be used in this tournament, but they must be put fully away before the start of each round. The weapons may be drawn only after the countdown has ended," the announcer continued.

The game set us up with the first pair of fighters. A couple of players by the look of it.

**MakeMeASammich**: were gonna crsh u noobs!

**SakurAssassin**: Don't respond to him.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Noobs? Have they seen our levels? You're like the furthest thing from a noob there is ever going to be.

**SakurAssassin**: I'll take that as a compliment. I guess these guys just came in and thought they could win the tournament. I don't think they know our rankings.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Good because it was meant to be ;) I'll put them out of their misery quickly. Teach them some rankings they'll never forget.

The countdown began for the round to start. As soon as the one passed away, Eric went for his holsters. The Sammich guy was still struggling through his controls. Eric was able to get a clear shot to the forehead. The HP started depleting way too fast. It was going to be a one hit KO.

**MakeMeASammich**: Shit, I'm dead! There's no way that's fair! You bitches can't use a gun in a tournament!

**UltimateHeroEric**: What is he like twelve?

**SakurAssassin**: Looks like it. You still shouldn't respond.

**Boob13z**: it dont matter. im still going to whip both u and ur sissy partner's ass. Ull be regenerating in the next city faster than u can type "i surrender."

**UltimateHeroEric**: I've had just enough of your crap, punk. I don't care what you have to say about me, but when it comes to my partner, you better shut up.

The countdown for the next fight started to go down.

**Boob13z**: whatcha gonna do bout it? Ur both just a couple of old, fat, ugly lozers! U gay or something? playing with a bunch of faggots!

**UltimateHeroEric**: That's. It.

At the end of the the countdown, Eric didn't draw his guns like last time. The boobs guy, however, wasted no time to draw his gun and aim at Eric. Eric ran towards him. As the boobs guy fired, Eric swiped it aside. The bullet fazed into nothingness as it left the fighting arena. Eric beat the gun out of the players hands and pushed him to the ground. He had him pinned down. Eric landed punch after punch, lowering boobs HP bit by bit. Boobs couldn't do a thing about it. Eric killed the player slowly, the old-fashioned way.

"The winner of this round was the team of UltimateHeroEric and SakurAssassin," the announcer said.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Boom!

Eric got up from the depixeled player and came to me at the side of the arena.

**SakurAssassin**: Great. Fantastic, Eric.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Why thank you! :)

**UltimateHeroEric**: Wait, that was sarcasm, wasn't it. What did I do wrong? I beat up those jerks. :(

**SakurAssassin**: You fed the trolls, Eric. You're never supposed to feed the trolls.

**UltimateHeroEric**: You know, sassy pants, you gotta know when to stand up for yourself.

**SakurAssassin**: You should ignore them until they go away. Don't give them the satisfaction of attention.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Oh really? And how has that worked out for you?

**SakurAssassin**: -.- alright so far.

**UltimateHeroEric**: But you can't remain invisible forever, can you?

**SakurAssassin**: I can try.

**UltimateHeroEric**: You're just mad because you know I'm right. :)

**SakurAssassin**: -.-

**UltimateHeroEric**: But it's alright. As long as you're not invisible to me, I'll stick up for you. :) When you're too chicken to do it yourself.

**SakurAssassin**: Chicken? Crap.

**UltimateHeroEric**: What? That's what people are going to start calling you if you keep on hiding.

**SakurAssassin**: No, I'm out of chicken ramen. I haven't been out in a few days.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Dude, go outside! Grab some Vitamin D and food! Wouldn't want you to die alone in your room!

When did that grocery close again? I had a feeling it was going to be soon. I'm pretty sure Charlie was going to be busy tomorrow. She wasn't going to be able to deliver.

**SakurAssassin**: I've got to go out for a bit. I'll still stay logged on. You'll be able to handle this for a few rounds, right?

**UltimateHeroEric**: Of course! Now go and hurry back! I'll be able to handle this. I'll just take some potions if they manage to touch my HP. I just need you around for the company :)

**SakurAssassin**: Alright. Be careful. If I can't be invisible, you can't invincible.

**UltimateHeroEric** :P I know I'm not invincible. You've killed me already, remember?

**SakurAssassin**: Good times. Brb.

I slipped off my headphones and glasses and left them by the keyboard. Could I chance it without a shower? I ran my fingers through my ponytail. Better not. I had to make this quick. I got my ponytail out out of its holder. My arms were already through my sleeves when I got to my bathroom. I turned on the water and took the rest of my clothes off. They should probably be washed. I had been wearing them for a few days. The water hadn't quite warmed up yet, but I went in anyway. I quickly ran the soap over my body. I lathered the shampoo in my hair and rinsed everything.

I stepped out and dried myself off. I found my ponytail back and pulled my hair through it. My hair was still dripping wet, so twisted it around into a bun.

I grabbed a shirt and pair of jeans from my room and pulled them on. I found my wallet and tried to stuff it in my pocket. Why do these pockets always have to be so small? I think Charlie got me a wristlet thing for my birthday. I found it stuffed back in my closet. I slipped it on my wrist and shoved my wallet in along with my keys. Before I could change my mind to go hungry for a day, I headed out the door.

* * *

There really weren't as many reporters as I thought. I got in and out without too much of a fuss, though I used the alternative entryways. Nobody really expected me on such an ordinary day. I was actually quite happy as I made my way back down the hallway, plastic grocery bag filled with my treasured ramen.

I couldn't help but notice somebody at my door. That's funny. The doorman wasn't supposed to let in reporters. She stepped back a few paces and moved her long hair away from her face. Wait was that...

"Charlie!" I called out as she braced herself and started to run towards my door. Was she really going to break down my door?

She flinched from surprise

"Kiki! Thank goodness!" Charlie walked briskly towards me. She suddenly wrapped her arms around me. I patted her back awkwardly, not really quite sure was going on. "I thought you were dead!"

"What?"

"I came to check on you. The doorman said you haven't been down for a while. I didn't know you were gone."

"Yeah, had to get some stuff. I used a different exit."

"And then when I came to your door and it was locked and you didn't answer, I sort of freaked out," Charlie said. She held me out at arms length.

"It's a good thing I stopped you before you broke down my door," I said.

"I thought you would be playing your game," Charlie said. "But it's nice to see you out and about."

"I guess. Eric and I are going through a tournament. He's fighting most of them off right now," I explained. I unlocked my front door and let us both in.

"A tournament? That's a little bit different from your other bosses, isn't it? Doesn't sound too hard."

"Oh, it is. The last pair is actually a boss. I was planning to get back before Eric had to face them alone." I put my ramen packages away. "Actually, I should probably get to it. I'm cutting it kind of close"

Charlie followed me to my game room but waited outside. She leaned not the door frame as I headed back over to my computer.

"Well, it looks like you're alright, so I'll let you get back to your boyfriend," she said.

"He's not my boyfriend." I looked at her as I put my headphones and glasses back on.

She smiled. "For now..."

* * *

I rolled my eyes as she left. I turned my eyes to the screen and almost had to do a double take.

Eric was already fighting the boss. It was far too close for my taste. Both of them had about three fourths of their health left.

Span was not a boss you wanted to mess with. None of them were really. He had some of the strongest strength stats of any of the bosses. He was built too. Very intimidating. All of his moves were screaming efficiency. Not one was unnecessary.

After a bit more struggling, Eric was finally able to get a shot in.

Span had to stop. Unlike players, NPCs and bosses had a sort of simulated pain. It wasn't real, but they expressed it that way.

Eric gave one last shot to Span's chest, and the first of the pair of bosses faded away.

**SakurAssassin**: Sorry. I didn't mean to be gone so long.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Hey, you're back! It's okay. These last ones were pretty tough, but I've managed. Had enough potions too last.

He took another potion and his health restored. I felt a bit of worry come off.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Next guy, Spick I think, looks pretty easy. I think I can take him.

**SakurAssassin**: No. No. Spick is not easy. You really need to watch out.

It's true. In terms of intimidation, Spick was the complete opposite of Span. Spick usually had a spaced out look on his face. He was skinny and cute. Not at all scary. But he was not that way now. He was on the brink of devastation. His golden brown eyes were brimmed with hate.

"You killed my partner. I am NEVER going to forgive you," Spick said as he stepped into the arena. He had to continue the fight in Span's place.

**SakurAssassin**: Really, Eric. Stay on your toes.

The countdown started. Once the numbers were gone, Spick was out of sight in a blink. Eric whipped around but couldn't aim his gun at any figure. He'd see a blur and shoot on instinct, but Spick was already gone.

Spick got the first hit in. As he ran, he carried a small knife. As he passed Eric, he made a small slash. The high speed made a big impact. A good chunk of Eric's HP was taken out. It was only a matter if time until it happened again.

And it happened again and again. Eric was able to focus on something and shot.

**SakurAssassin**: Eric, tag out with me.

Eric didn't respond. He was too focused on the game. I knew what he was thinking, though. That last shot had clipped Spick. He thought if he had managed that, he could get a better shot next time.

**SakurAssassin**: Eric, it's not going to work. He'll hit you more times than you'll be able to focus on him.

**SakurAssassin**: Eric, please tag out.

Spick made hit after hit. Eric barely had any health left. There was no way he'd be able to pull out of this on top.

**SakurAssassin**: Don't you dare die on me! You can't die! Please, just tag out!

"UltimateHeroEric has decided to tag out."

**UltimateHeroEric**: :( I could've died a hero

**SakurAssassin**: I prefer my heroes alive. Plus, if you died, we would've lost the bosses you defeated.

**UltimateHeroEric**: O.O Oh. Well, that was close. You must have put a lot of trust in me.

**SakurAssassin**: You haven't failed me before.

I stepped into the arena. Spick looked a bit tired, but other than that, still up for the fight.

"You think you can fight me? Your partner did no better. You can't fight someone you can't see," Spick said as the countdown began.

**SakurAssassin**: That works both ways.

The countdown ended and I put my invisibility on. Spick froze for a moment. I slashed at him while I could and got out of the way. Spick realized a second later that he had to move if he wanted to survive.

He wasn't nearly as fast as before. He couldn't pinpoint where I was, plus I had taken more than half of his remaining HP. The more we kept moving. The more likely we were to run into each other. We'd knick each other, but I would always get the bigger bit.

Suddenly, he just stopped. I took no chances. I held my blade at his throat.

"I surrender!" Spick shouted. He was crying. "I don't want to fight anymore. It's just no use or meaning. Not if Span isn't here."

There was no need to finish him off. His surrender counted as a loss. We had won against this boss tournament. Spick started to pixel away, to be united with Span in the next tournament.

**UltimateHeroEric**: I almost had him. :(

**SakurAssassin**: You did. Almost. You did very well, Eric. I'm really glad I had you as my partner today. Most days. Everyday.

**UltimateHeroEric**: ...Okay, fine, sassy pants. We each got one boss. I guess that makes us a pretty good team.

**SakurAssassin**: A pretty great team, though I think you deserve most of the credit on this one.

**UltimateHeroEric**: But if you weren't here, I would have died. I think that makes us pretty even. Shake on it?

**SakurAssassin**: Of course :)

**AN: Really guys? I love all the reviews I've been getting! You just beat my last record by six on that last chapter! XD It makes me so exceedingly happy! Thank you! If you guys took that poll, I am happy to announce that the PruCan won. It's called "Anything and Everything Awesome" if you want to find it.**


	20. Shiny

The new guy was making funny faces on the screen. It was like he was using his webcam as a mirror. It was kind of funny. I didn't say anything. I wanted to watch this all play out.  
He quickly got himself back together when another employee logged into the web conference.

"Oh hello, Jim. You logged in bright and early," the newcomer to the conference said. I knew this guy. He had come into the company five years ago. He worked his way up to the co-visual location chair. He sent me pictures form around the world to get inspiration for the game.

"Yes, Mr. Teller. I wanted to get here so I could prepare myself before the others got in." He straightened. "I've only ever talked to President Nihonda over e-mail. Let alone Mr. Honda. At least I know what the president looks like."

"Oh, I wouldn't be too concerned about Mr. Honda..."

"How can I not?! This game! All of this success! It's his! He's behind all of this! Everything I do, everything we do! It all goes through him. You may already know him, but I've got nothing. I've got to earn his trust and respect."

"Ha ha! I may have worked with him for a few years. That doesn't mean I know a thing about him."

"Ah, you've got to know something. Give me a few pointers. I'm freakin out over here."

"You want to know what I know about Mr. Honda?"

"That...would be great." Jim got out a pencil and paper.

"Jim, do you really need to..."

"I really don't want to mess this up on my first big conference."

"Alright. There's not really much I can tell you about Kiku. I was technically employed before him, but he has been working with the president for years. I don't know what he looks like. I don't know what he sounds like. But there is one thing that I know."

"Well, what is it?"

"No matter how early I logged in, Mr. Honda always came in before me."

**Kiku Honda**: I also enjoy stargazing.

I saw Jim's eyes scan over. His eyes went wide when he saw Kiku Honda on the online list.

"Mr. Honda, I am so sorry! I didn't have any visual..."

**Kiku Honda**: It's alright. You should have seen Mr. Teller when he was still a newbie, Mr. Smith.

"Ha! How would you know what I was like when I was a newbie, Mr. Honda?"

**Kiku Honda**: I know in your first few years, you would have done anything to get promoted. You were saving up money to marry your sweetheart. You were given the promotion like you wanted, but on one condition. On your first big web conference, you had to dress in drag in your girlfriend's clothes. You were quite stunning. I can see why you married her.

Mr. Teller's face went white. Jim tried hard to hold back his laughter. Mr. Teller laughed nervously a few times. "THAT...was supposed to be a secret. Who told you?"

**Kiku Honda**: I have my sources, Mr. Teller.

Of course, no one told me. I saw it all for myself. It was before I moved out of Dad's. I saw the screen but stayed out of the sight of the camera.

The rest of the conference signed on one after another. Good. I was already running late. I probably wouldn't be able to sign off and meet Eric in time.

* * *

"It seems like we've covered everything," Mrs. Striker said. She was the head of the visual advertisement division. It was her responsibility this time to keep this meeting on track.

"Good." My father took off his glasses and got his scattered papers in a neat pile. "I say we bring this meeting to a close."

"Actually President Nihonda, there's something that I would like to bring up," Jim said.

"Smith...Smith..." My father searched.

**Kiku Honda**: He's the new person in charge of customer relations.

"Right. Thank you, Ki...ku."

I rolled my eyes. My dad didn't exactly like that I had to work here as Kiku Honda. I was his pride and joy. He wanted me to work under my name. Under his name.

"So, I'm sure you're all aware, but this game has gained attention and popularity like never before," Jim started.

Several of the other heads nodded in agreement.

"World of Warfare III has an enormous fan base. A fan base that is dying to know more. They want to actually to experience the game."

**Kiku Honda**: So, you're talking about a convention?

A few people nodded at the idea.

"Exactly! It doesn't even have to be just about WWIII. We can tie in the other aspects of Nihonda gaming. I think it's about time we finally let our fans in. We could have panels where we talk about the process of making the game, and..."

"Mr. Smith, that sounds like a great idea! Truly innovative! I'm all for it if Mr. Honda is up to it!" my father said.

Damn it! I pounded my fist on my desk. He just had to do this. Everyone's faces fell. Guarded expressions revealed how they thought I would answer.

"It's true. This convention wouldn't be much without Mr. Honda's participation," Jim said dejectedly.

**Kiku Honda**: I'll have to think about it.

"Well, I guess that isn't exactly no," Jim said. "I'm signing out."

His screen went dark along with many more. The meeting was coming to an end, but I wasn't leaving. Pretty soon, it was just my father and I.

"Would you turn your webcam on please? I haven't seen you in weeks," he said.

I locked this conference from anyone else entering, and then I turned on my webcam and microphone. Only so he could see the expression on my face.

"What was that all about?" I asked.

"Is it so wrong for a father to want to see his daughter?"

"For the last time, Dad, I don't enjoy being in the spotlight. Nothing good ever happens from it."

"Honey." The tone of the conversation suddenly changed. "It's not a bad thing to stand out. There's absolutely nothing wrong with letting people know who you really are. The world isn't nearly as cruel as you think they are."

"I think I can determine what the world is like for myself."

"Kiki, I love you. I just want you to open up so you can love as well. This could be your chance to shine."

"Yeah, well, I'm not ready yet."

"Kiki..."

"Bye, Dad," I said as I logged off.

* * *

**SakurAssassin**: Sorry I'm late. I had something that went longer than I expected.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Dude! There you are! I was just checking out these stalls while up I was waiting.

**SakurAssassin**: Find anything interesting?

**UltimateHeroEric**: Yeah, a bunch of badass guns. Check it out! There's this one...

**UltimateHeroEric**: And this one...

He went through his arsenal gun by gun. I smiled to myself. This was my world. This was the world I loved. Where all my troubles seemed to go away.

This convention at work was about WWIII, so Kiku Honda would need to be there. But this convention was also about Nihonda gaming, so Kiki Nihonda was expected to be there. What was I supposed to do? My identities were crossing paths.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Hey sassy pants, does this gun make my butt look big?

Oh right. I didn't have worry about either of those people. Here, I was SakurAssassin. Sassy pants.

**SakurAssassin**: Not at all. In fact, the cold steel really brings out your eyes.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Ha! I knew you were looking! You better watch those eyes, sassy pants, or people will start to have... impressions ;)

**SakurAssassin**: ...you confuse me sometimes.

Eric put his gun away.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Speaking of confused, that's what I am. Did that whole tournament count as one boss or two? Do we head to the next country now?

**SakurAssassin**: Spick and Span? One tournament. One boss.

**UltimateHeroEric**: I feel like I've been tricked. Those two guys were tough. Especially that Spick guy. Span may have been, maybe like, a little buff, but that Spick guy freaked me out. You could tell he was crazy because his personality did a complete 180. At first he didn't even want to fight. He was pretty much hiding behind Span's muscles the whole time.

**SakurAssassin**: I guess you can think of it as neither of them being the boss. It was the separation. People tend to go crazy when they're separated from their partner. They put on a false invincible strength to protect themselves, which was the boss in this case, but that eventually fades to show their true weakness. It just takes a bit of endurance to get through.

**UltimateHeroEric**: So...we still got another boss in Germany? Sweetness!

Eric started going to the outskirts of the city on his own. I had to hurry to catch up with him. He ran past the camps without a second glance.

**UltimateHeroEric**: So...where do we go?

**SakurAssassin**: Now you ask...

**UltimateHeroEric**: Ooh, look! Shiny!

Eric picked up something shiny metal pebble thing off the path we were walking on.

**UltimateHeroEric**: What do you think it is? The game isn't giving me a proper explanation. Is it something important?

**SakurAssassin**: Maybe it is. Maybe it isn't.

**UltimateHeroEric**: You know, from past experience, you would think from your vague answer that this little pebble is going to be very important in some weird way.

**SakurAssassin**: Or maybe I just like the idea of you running around the game picking up random shiny stones off the ground, thinking that it would eventually be important when it really isn't.

**UltimateHeroEric**: :P Oh look! Another one!

Eric noticed a trail of shiny stones going off into an off-beaten path. A path heading straight off into a really dark ominous-looking forest.

**UltimateHeroEric**: What do you think it means?

He admired the shininess in the simulated sunlight.

**SakurAssassin**: Maybe someone wants you to forge a necklace.

**UltimateHeroEric**: What?! You want a necklace?

**SakurAssassin**...you're acting strange. No. I don't want a necklace. I only represent a small part of the game. And I don't think the German bosses are fond of jewelry.

Could that be true? I technically only really show up two times. My face in the opening and my pseudonym in the credits. That added up to a small part of visual representation.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Well, I don't care what you say. I've got to collect 'em all! Besides, there's got to be some sort of creepy boss in that dark forest. Especially with all those keep out signs.

**SakurAssassin**: Oh, you rebel. Let's go.


	21. ROFLYSPAO

**UltimateHeroEric**: Seriously dude, what is this stuff?

**SakurAssassin**: I'd rather not say...

**UltimateHeroEric**: It's not something nasty, is it?

**SakurAssassin**: Even if it was nasty, why would it matter? It's not like you're going to get germs through this game.

**UltimateHeroEric**: :P You're probably having a big laugh behind your screen. Ha ha, I made Eric pick up the metal bunny poop.

**SakurAssassin**: I didn't make you pick up anything. You're collecting them on your own.

Eric continued to collect the "mysterious" silvery metal objects from the ground.

**UltimateHeroEric**: C'mon, sassy pants! Just one clue!

**SakurAssassin**: Why don't you tell me what you think it is?

Eric took one of them out and inspected it closely.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Hmmm...is it candy?

I couldn't hold back my laughter. Of course Eric's mind would be on food.

**SakurAssassin**: No.

**UltimateHeroEric**: That was way too long of a break. You were laughing at me, weren't you? You were rolling on the floor laughing your sassy pants ass off. ROFLYSPAO. Rofly Spao. Ro Fly Spa O. I think you just made that a thing.

**SakurAssassin**: I was laughing because you were laughing.

**UltimateHeroEric**: -.- okay maybe. You caught me. But we're partners. It's not nice to keep things from me.

**SakurAssassin**: I keep lots of things from you.

**UltimateHeroEric**: NOT IMPORTANT GAME STUFF! ASFHYRJYETS

**UltimateHeroEric**: You know what? I'm going to eat it. Since you're not going to tell me a clue, I'll just eat it.

I turned on my heel to go back the way we came.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Where are you going?

**SakurAssassin**: Back to Berlin. Might as well get a head start if you're going to eat it.

**UltimateHeroEric**: But why would you need...oh. It would kill me, wouldn't it? I'd die, and we'd have to start all over again.

**SakurAssassin**: Yep. All these weeks would be for nothing.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Well, not entirely nothing. We'd just get to go on all those adventures again :D Wouldn't that be fun, sassy pants? :D Right?

**SakurAssassin**: I think you're forgetting that this is actually my job, Eric.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Oh, I know it's more than just a job to you. You just can't get enough of me :) You just want to spend more time with me. That's why you're not telling me what these things are. You're stalling, sassy pants.

**SakurAssassin**: Yeah, nice try. Still not going to tell you. You'll find out soon enough.

**UltimateHeroEric**: :( Spoil sport

**SakurAssassin**: But it wouldn't be as fun without the surprise

**UltimateHeroEric**: True. Plot twists are the best.

"Hey!" a loud voice called out suddenly.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Holy bejeezus!

A guy came out from behind a tree and matched angrily towards us.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Dude, is that Legolas?!

"You shouldn't be here. This is too dangerous for you," he said. He was a bit too rugged to look like Legolas. His long blond hair only added to his masculinity. The axe on his back helped, too.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Yeah, well I do what I want. Nothing's too dangerous for me. Safety is too mainstream.

**SakurAssassin**: And shiny things you find in the ground aren't?

"You need to leave. Now," he said in all seriousness. "I'm not going to tell you again."

**SakurAssassin**: Okay, but we're a bit lost. Could you point us to the way out?

Eric would probably have something to say about that. However, the mystery guy responded before Eric could.

"That way." He pointed to somewhere directly behind us.

**SakurAssassin**: Thank you. We'll just be on our way.

I started going off in that direction.

**UltimateHeroEric**: No. No way. Did we just go through all that for nothing? Did I just way my pack down with a bunch of useless pebbles?

**SakurAssassin**: Hey, you're the one who decided to ignore that guy's sign and go into the dark, creepy forest.

After a certain amount of time, I suddenly switched my direction again.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Wait, are we dancing now? You really need to keep me up on your sudden decision changes because I am an excellent dancer. I've got da moves :)

**SakurAssassin**: Just buying time. I needed the guy to go away, twinkle toes. Obviously, we would need to go in the opposite direction of where he was pointing.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Oh, look who's being the rebel now? I like it :)

I started running through the foliage. The crunch was beginning to sound a little off. We were getting close.

But then, Eric ran off in another direction. I figured this would happen.

**SakurAssassin**: I know this is going to be hard, but I'm going to need you to focus.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Come with me

**UltimateHeroEric**: And we'll be

**UltimateHeroEric**: In a woooooorld of pure imagination!

**SakurAssassin**: This is a game after all...it is a world of imagination.

Specifically, my imagination.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Look at all this candy! If only I could taste it!

Eric was frolicking through the candied forest. Trees and rocks were replaced by candy canes and giant gumdrops. The sun setting over the trees sent a myriad of colors reflecting off if the glass-like candy.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Sassy pants! You didn't lie to me, did you? Are these silver things the most delicious, mysterious candy cruelly and tragically trapped in virtual form?

**SakurAssassin**: I didn't lie. You can think of them as death candy, if you wish. Tastes like death. Bitter for some. Sweet relief for others.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Well that got a bit deeper than I intended :/

**SakurAssassin**: I break out in philosophy sometimes. C'mon, let's go. Just wait until you see this.

I led Eric further into the black licorice forest. There was a cabin in the middle of a candy clearing.

**UltimateHeroEric**: This is paradise! Candy. Burgers. Pizza. I would totally live here. Until I ate it all.

"Hey, no eating my house!" A woman had come out the door, a bowl cradled in her arm and supported by her hip. She had long, curly, chestnut brown hair that went down to the middle of her back. She slathered the spaghetti from the bowl and unto the wall.

She smiled at Eric and set the bowl down. She swung her hips as she it closer. She stood just a few inches in front if Eric and looked him up and down.

"Though, I wouldn't mind you living here, big boy. Oooh, I could eat you right up!"

She picked up the bowl and stood in the doorway again."Well, come on in! Let this old woman reminisce."

Eric followed her. I followed him fully into the house built from various foods. She says down at the table and indicated for us to follow.

**UltimateHeroEric**: I may be confused a lot, but I'm pretty sure that you're not old. You look pretty young to me.

She gave him a beautiful, sexy smile. "Oh stop it! Back in the day, I would have taken you before breakfast. You're a bit young for me to pursue now. But if you start..." she insinuated.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Huh?

Eric was obviously not catching her drift. I kind of felt happy about that.

She shook her head. "Things sure were different back then. The men would just come flocking to me. I was the center of the world. The parties in the moonlight. The singing. The blood red wine. The feasts. Nothing like the stuff they serve nowadays." She indicated to her house with the flick of her wrist.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Really? This stuff looks pretty awesome to me.

"Hmm. It must be our age difference that draws our different tastes. Food back then was served raw. Natural."

**UltimateHeroEric**: So...like sushi? That's cool I guess. Sassy pants likes sushi, too.

She threw her head back and laughed. "Oh you silly boy. You've really got me now. You're too irresistible to wait. Which will it be first? Sex or a fight?"

There was no response from Eric. Everything was just now clicking in his head. She wasn't exactly what she seemed.

"Guys didn't always flock to me for sex, though that was a very important aspect. I was also a pretty damn good fighter. This old woman still has a few moves up her sleeves."

Still nothing from the Eric department.

"Hmm, can't decide? I guess we could do both. Just a fair warning, I am known for biting." She ran her tongue along her teeth seductively. Her teeth clacked together as she nipped at the air.

This was going far enough. I drew my katana from its sheath and swung it down at her. She stopped my swing with the palm of her hand. Barely any HP was lost. A small line of blood formed on her hand.

"Impatient, are we? Don't worry. As soon as I'm done with him, it'll be your turn. I'm not too picky."

There was a loud crack as the large candy door was broken open. Little bits of candy crumbled at our feet.

"I thought I told you to get out if here!" the guy from before said. He broke into the room with his weapon drawn.

"Wolfie!" the woman exclaimed excitedly. "You came!"

She ran toward him with her arms wide open. She looked ready to jump on him, but Wolfie kept her at arms distance.

"Get off of me, Red," Wolfie said as he shoved her away.

"Wolfie, you're so mean to me!" she whined.

"You're clingy and annoying," he said in an irritated voice.

"So cruel! You know I'm always like this during my time of the month."

**UltimateHeroEric**: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaand I think I've had about enough now. Let's get out of here, sassy pants.

"Oh, you're not going anywhere," Red said. Her attention was drawn back to us. "It's far too late now."

"You should have left while you still had the chance," Wolfie said. He took a stance with his axe. He was aimed at Red. "You have no choice now. You're going to have to fight.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Okay...fighting is good, I guess? It'd be great if I knew whose ass I had to kick...

Red stepped back from Wolfie. Her arms were still held apart. She stood by the window. The sun had set far behind the trees, and the moonlight was peaking out towards the east. The full moon.

Once the nightly light hit her skin, Red began to change. Her body began consumed with red-brown fur. Her body morphed and tripled in size. Her features became more lupine in character.

"Brace yourselves. This could get ugly," Wolfie said.

After all, Red was a werewolf. Both Wolfie and I had our weapons out. It looked like Eric still hadn't done anything. Red howled loudly. The whole junk food house reverberated.

**SakurAssassin**: Eric, I think that's your cue to draw your weapon.

**UltimateHeroEric**: I can't decide which gun to use!

Red swung one of her giant furry arms at us. We all ducked out of the way. Wolfie ran at her first but was quickly knocked to the side. I got at her next and slashed at her face. A red angry line appeared and disappeared into her fur. She focused on me and growled. She started to prowl in my direction.

**SakurAssassin**: Choose one already!

**UltimateHeroEric**: Wolfslayr it is then.

He aimed at her eyes and fired a few shots. Red howled in pain and divided her attention between Eric and me.

**SakurAssassin**: You've got to load it with the silver bullets.

**UltimateHeroEric**: The what?!

**SakurAssassin**: The shiny death candy you found on the ground

Eric quickly went through his pack and reloaded his gun with the silver bullets. He wasn't going fast enough. Red was going to attack him before he could defend himself.

I rushed in front of him, holding my sword defensively. Red clawed me and I fell to the ground. About half of my HP was gone.

When I saw Eric, I decided to stay down. He had two guns in his hands. Each was filled with the silver bullets. He fired round after round until both were empty. Red writhed in pain as the poisonous silver rushed through her veins.

He didn't stop to reload. Apparently, he had filled all of guns with silver bullets. He traded out gun after gun, emptying each one into Red. There wasn't much of her left. Just bloody red fur. He only slowed up as she started to pixel away.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Sassy pants! Are you okay?!

**SakurAssassin**: Yeah I'm fine.

I took his hand to stand myself back up. I went through my pack and restored my HP with a couple of potions.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Don't do that again. I had it all under control.

**SakurAssassin**: So did I. You didn't need to freak out. I had my sword to protect me.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Yeah, and my guns!

"And my axe."

We both looked towards Wolfie. That was sort of random. I almost forgot he was here.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Dude...you hardly did anything...

"If you listened to me earlier, I wouldn't have had to do anything for you players. Next time, stay out of my business."

Awkward silence.

"Get out of here already!" he shouted. "Preferably BEFORE I have to split you in half!"

We bolted out of there. Not that he was really a threat. He's just the kind of person that you do as your told when he yells at you like that.

**UltimateHeroEric**: I swear, he's like a Legolas Gimli mutant love child.

**SakurAssassin**: Look, are we good or do we need to talk some more?

**UltimateHeroEric**: It's not like we were ever not good. It's just...I'd rather you not put yourself in danger like that for me.

**SakurAssassin**: I've accepted the fact that you want to protect me. You shouldn't be surprised that I want to return the favor.

**UltimateHeroEric**: I think our reasoning is a bit different...

**SakurAssassin**: No. It's not. We are both very good players. We can both hold our own, but we're partners. We are here for each other whether we need it or not.

We just stood like that for a moment. Neither of us said anything. We didn't need to. We had come to this understanding a while ago. We would always stick it out together. We'd do anything for each other.

**UltimateHeroEric**:...handshake?

I smiled from behind my screen and took his hand.


	22. Touché

**UltimateHeroEric**: Dude, where did all these shadowy things come from?

Eric shot at the shadow wolves in the forest. They were fast and quiet as the night. I didn't have to deal with them. My invisibility erased my presence from the wolves. I leaned against the trunk of the tree high up in the limbs. Luckily, Eric had collected so many silver bullets. And he had me to point them out before they could attack them.

**SakurAssassin**: You've got more coming to your left.

Eric quickly shot at the wolves. They yelped and then disappeared in a cloud of wispy, black smoke.

**SakurAssassin**: They were too intimidated to come out when Red was around. Now that Red is temporarily dead, they see no need to keep hiding.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Well, are we almost out of the woods? I don't have many silver bullets left. Will regular ones work on them?

**SakurAssassin**: No. They won't have any effect. We're not that far away from the edge of the forest. How good are you at being sneaky?

**UltimateHeroEric**: Oh I can be very sneaky :)

**SakurAssassin**: Alrighty. Veer right and be sure to crouch behind the bushes when you get to them.

I hopped from limb to limb to keep up with him. I stopped just ahead of him.

**SakurAssassin**: Stick close and try not to make too much noise.

I went steadily from tree branch to branch. It was quite different to the erratic shuffling below me. I looked down to see Eric running from tree trunk to tree trunk, yielding a few seconds to hide his profile under the tree's protection.

**SakurAssassin**: What are you doing?

**UltimateHeroEric**: Being sneaky, of course :)

**SakurAssassin**: You've got the Mission Impossible theme in your head, don't you.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Listening to it right now :) dun dun da da dun dun duh duh

**SakurAssassin**: You don't have to be THAT sneaky

**UltimateHeroEric**: Ah, but I can be. To think I'd make a ninja jealous of my sneakiness. :)

**SakurAssassin**: You wish :P

I hopped along even faster. If Eric was planning to keep up with me, he'd have to stop wasting time behind trees.

**SakurAssassin**: Mind the shadow wolf in the gap.

Eric shot into the shadow. The wolf evaporated into the air.

I went ahead even faster. With Eric firing again, the shadow wolves would be attracted to the sound. I saw the paths where the branches overlapped and ran across. My eyes flicked across the screen as I searched for deceitful branches full of cracks. I was focussing too much. I noticed too late when the branches ran out.

I tried to stop my momentum from making me fall off the edge of the forest. My feet slipped forward from under me, and I started to fall towards the ground.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Whoa there, partner.

Eric had caught up to me surprisingly quickly and was right under my tree. He caught my character, so the fall didn't damage my HP. His arm was hooked around under my knees and the other, I presumed, around my back.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Did you just fall or something?

**SakurAssassin**: -.- ...maybe.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Your ninja skills are getting pretty rusty :P Lucky you've got me around to catch you.

It wasn't just that. Eric was getting good at this game. Really good. And I found I didn't have to hold myself to as high of standard as before. I didn't have to execute everything perfectly. But that didn't mean I didn't want to.

**UltimateHeroEric**: So where exactly are we now?

**SakurAssassin**: Do you see that stick lying randomly over there? Go over to it.

Eric still hadn't let me down, so he carried me over to the stick.

**SakurAssassin**: Now put your left leg on the other side of the stick.

**UltimateHeroEric**: O...Kay?

His foot stepped over the stick.

**SakurAssassin**: Bring it back quickly!

**UltimateHeroEric**: Are you serious? Is there a point to this?

**SakurAssassin**: Yes. Now step over it again.

**UltimateHeroEric**: -.-

**SakurAssassin**: Now shake it all about. Shake it like your life depends on it!

**UltimateHeroEric**: O.o Why did I just do the hokey pokey?

**SakurAssassin**: Because it pleases me :) Don't forget to turn yourself around.

He spun around quickly and then jumped over to the other side of the stick.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Are you satisfied, oh great sassy pants?

**SakurAssassin**: That'll do. By the way, we're in France now.

**UltimateHeroEric**: What?! When did that happen?

**SakurAssassin**: When you jumped over the stick.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Whatever happened to the border patrol that we got earlier?

**SakurAssassin**: The French can't really do much to the people coming from the Black Forest. Though, it's not exactly a two way street. Getting back that way is quite a stick up the ass.

Eric looked down and back at the stick he just crossed.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Wait, you didn't mean that literally, did you?

**SakurAssassin**: Want to cross Herr Stick and find out?

**UltimateHeroEric**: I think I'll just take your word for it.

He finally set me down on the grass. A meadow as far as the eye could see stretched out before us.

"UltimateHeroEric would like to shake your hand," the little window read. I clicked accept and went through the familiar sequence.

* * *

**UltimateHeroEric**: Hey sassy pants?

**SakurAssassin**: Yeah?

We were walking through the French fields. Stalks of lavender and wheat waved with the winds. Vines of grapes grew along their spikes. We were getting close to the city. We'd have to be careful.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Have you...have you ever dated anyone?

I clumsily fell off my chair. It felt like my face was going to implode as I was choking on my own tongue. Even my fingers cramped up. I used my desk to pull myself back up. My arms shook.

**SakurAssassin**: Why?

That was all I could type. I was afraid of the response. I was afraid what I would have to say. Lies or truth.

**UltimateHeroEric**: 'Cause, you know? It's France. The country of love. I just thought, you know, it'd be appropriate. So...have you? Been in love, I mean?

**SakurAssassin**: No.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Right.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Actually, um... What exactly did you mean by "no?" No, you've never been in love. No, you've never dated anyone? No, you won't answer any of my questions because I'm a nosy little idiot...?

**SakurAssassin**: No, as in I've never been in love, Eric.

**SakurAssassin**: I've been on dates before. They never amounted to anything. My friend set them up. Afraid I'll never be able to find anyone on my own.

**SakurAssassin**: It doesn't matter, really.

**UltimateHeroEric**: I think it does.

Crap, I said something weird again, didn't I?

**SakurAssassin**: Don't get me wrong. I'm sure love is great and all. It's a nice notion. I just don't think it's for me.

**SakurAssassin**: What about you? Any real girl out there catch your eye?

**UltimateHeroEric**: Ah, well, um, I have been on a few dates, I guess. A couple of girls I knew have asked me out to a movie.

I don't know why, but that seemed to make me feel a little funny. A bit off. Like there was a rock in my stomach. Maybe ramen does get old...

**SakurAssassin**: You must be quite the charmer.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Yeah, well, not quite. I've never actually made it to the next date. I can be a bit...obsessive.

**SakurAssassin**: You didn't stalk the poor girls, did you? O.o

**UltimateHeroEric**: No no no no! God no! Nothing like that. I swear I'm not creepy. I just...I just really like movies. I would pay more attention to the movie than my date.

**UltimateHeroEric**: My brother would be horrified if he knew. He's known to be quite the lady-killer gentleman. He doesn't really seem to get why I like the things I do.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Though, if those girls didn't want to watch the movie, I don't know why they would ask me in the first place.

**SakurAssassin**: I guess that makes sense. You do seem to make a lot of references to movies.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Yeah, I kind of want to be a screen writer. Or be a director of something. Both would be good.

**SakurAssassin**: Sounds like something you would be good at :) You've got quite the imagination.

**UltimateHeroEric**: :D :D :D :D :D XD!

"UltimateHeroEric would like to shake your hand."

Wow, he was certainly being enthusiastic. I smiled as I clicked accept.

**UltimateHeroEric**: You have no idea how much that means to me, sassy pants! Most people don't believe me.

**SakurAssassin**: I don't see why not. If you work hard enough at your dreams, what's to stop them?

**UltimateHeroEric**: Exactly! And what's to stop us from finding love in the process?!

**SakurAssassin**: ...touché. :) I'll have to keep that in mind.

**UltimateHeroEric**: You shouldn't ever give up, sassy pants. Someone will come around eventually. For both of us.

* * *

The scape of the city was coming into view. It wouldn't be long before we would be in Paris.

**SakurAssassin**: We'll be coming into a major city soon. This isn't going to be like the most recent ones. They will know who we are, and they will try to swarm us.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Relax, sassy pants! I can handle whatever they've got to dish out.

**DamselNDisdress**: O...M...G! It's UltimateHeroEric! I want to make virtual babies with you!


	23. Red Sunshine

**UltimateHeroEric**: Well...that escalated quickly. You could at least buy me dinner first ;)

I knew of course that Eric was joking, but I felt a weird pit in my stomach.

The player I assumed to be DamselNDisdress found us and whizzed right over to Eric. Right past me.

She obviously hadn't minded showing off her "femininity" in the real world. She was at least some part elf, so her face was beautiful. She wasn't a fighting type by the look of it. She didn't have much armor. In fact, she wasn't wearing much of anything. She was the perfect image of a video game pin up girl.

**DamselNDisdress**: OMG! XD! It really is you! My friends and I like totally love you! They're never going to believe this! We've been literally following you for weeks!

**UltimateHeroEric**: Whoa O.O That's actually pretty intense. How did you get to all these places but still end up ahead of us?

**DamselNDisdress**: Okay, maybe not literally following. We've been combing through Anything Awesome trying to catch any footage of you. I swear, you're like the single best part of this games. I don't care what the rankings say, you're SOOOO much better than anyone else.

I was a little disappointed that she didn't catch the "us" part. Not that she should. I was invisible to her. I didn't even register on her scale, apparently.

**DamselNDisdress**: Anyway...so while I have you here, I thought I might ask you a question.

She moved her bejeweled hand so that it ran along her cleavage. My palms became sweaty on my mouse and keyboard. I inhaled sharply as I ran my hands over my shirt. Unknowingly, I really started to pat down my own figure.

**UltimateHeroEric**: What did you want to ask?

Why was it that guys were always attracted to girls like that? To bodies like that? I felt self-consciously from my chest to my waist to my hips. I didn't have a figure like the video game girl. I didn't even have a figure of the video game Kiki. I didn't have the special effects to give me perfect hourglass curves and giant boobs. It was all a trick in the end. A disguise to hide something deeper in the dark. No real person could possibly look like that.

**DamselNDisdress**: I was wondering if you wanted to join my party. We could have so much fun together. We could get up to all sorts of things.

My fingers clenched around my shirt and pulled it tighter around me. Please say no, Eric. Just please say no. Don't fall for it.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Oh...um, I don't think that would be a very good idea...I've kind of got important things to take care of.

I felt instantly relieved. Maybe even happy. I wouldn't lose my partner.

**DamselNDisdress**: Aw :( Meanie! Why not? I could really help you out. Just for a little bit? I really want to shake your hand. My friends would be soooo jealous when they saw the screenshot.

And there I was. On edge again.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Look, becoming a teammate is a really important decision to me. I don't know anything about your statistics. I'm not the kind of person who goes into an agreement like that and just backs away.

**DamselNDisdress**: Geez, you don't have to be that serious. It's just a game. :/ I just want to have some fun? Don't you like to have fun?

**UltimateHeroEric**: Plus, I'm pretty sure it's not just my decision. You'd have to ask sassy pants.

**DamselNDisdress**: Sassy pants? What in the world are you talking about?

**UltimateHeroEric**: Oh, right. That would be a big problem. You can't actually see sassy pants when the invisibility is turned on.

**DamselNDisdress**: Ugh, I don't have the time for this. You honestly can't think of any reason why you should let me be on your team?

**UltimateHeroEric**: O.o Can you give me a reason? Can you magically dodge all attacks or something else really cool?

**DamselNDisdress**: I. Am. So. Done. With. This. I'd thought we'd really hit it off, you know? You think I'm just nothing? Well, you just missed out on an amazing experience. Have fun being oblivious!

She started running in the direction she came from. I imagined what would happen if I put my foot out to trip her. She wouldnt even know it was me. It was rude to actually do it, but imagining was okay.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Nice to meet you, too!

**UltimateHeroEric**: I really can't understand girls, sassy pants. They start off as one person then somehow end up being someone else.

I felt a little guilty at that. I usually didn't group myself with other girls. How would Eric react if he found out? It wasn't like I was hiding myself to deceive him. I was trying to be as true as I could be.

**UltimateHeroEric**: And it really wasn't that hard to see what she was after. It was pretty obvious she just wanted attention. She didn't even send me a PM. I don't think I'll ever get used to being famous. Even if it's only virtually.

**SakurAssassin**: Yeah. Weird. Fame is weird.

**SakurAssassin**: For some reason, I thought you liked girls who looked like that...

**UltimateHeroEric**: WHAT?! Why would you think something like that?

**SakurAssassin**: You like Kiki Nihonda. You like her because of the way she looks, right?

There really could have been no other reason. "Kiki Nihonda" was just a person full of appearances according to the media.

**UltimateHeroEric**: -.- ... yeah. I guess it's kind of hard to explain. It's not necessarily the way she looks, but more of the way she wears her look. She's hot through and through. It radiates from her. She can't help it. Kiki is like a giant red hot sun. That player, she...she focused too much on what was skin deep? That sounds weird...

**SakurAssassin**: No, I guess that sort of makes sense.

What didn't make sense was why my heart felt like it was caught in my throat. Why my brain felt like it was squished against the top of my skull. I'm pretty sure if a person had symptoms like this, they were already dead. Or really, dangerously close to dying.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Just another Kiki rant. I'm sure I'll make you a Kiki fan someday :)

**SakurAssassin**: Maybe

* * *

**SakurAssassin**: You doing okay back there, Eric?

We began our infiltration into Paris the next day. To avoid an incident like with Damsel, we had to sneak in underground.

The catacombs of Paris weren't exactly the most pleasant thing. The walls of the dark tunnels were "decorated" you could say with human remains. Skulls and various other bones lined the structure like fine ivory.

**UltimateHeroEric**: And I though the sewers in the hero New York were bad...this is just plain morbid.

**SakurAssassin**: Don't worry. We're almost out of here.

In one of the enclaves, there was a shiny bronze ladder. Little detailing of roses lined the pipe-like structure. I climbed up step by step. When I got to the top, I had to push up the heavy tile blocking the way.

The room above the ladder was strange, as you would expect. But not the sort of strange. It was one of those refrigerated rooms. You know, the ones florists have. Dozens of precut flowers were sitting in vases and bundles, just waiting to be shipped out.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Oh cool, a flower shop. Why would someone have a path straight to hell in a flower shop?

**SakurAssassin**: Who knows. You think someone would be normal, and then bam! The local florist is part of a crazy religious occult.

**UltimateHeroEric**: There really is no such thing as normal in this game, is there?

**SakurAssassin**: Nope. Not unless you consider the completely unexpected the norm.

**UltimateHeroEric**: -.- I think I just might be heading that direction. Hey, isn't the first part of your username a flower or something? Could we find it in here?

**SakurAssassin**: I highly doubt it. Sakura is a tree. Not exactly something you can call in and order in twenty-four hours.

The door to the refrigeration room was left slightly ajar. We were lucky we weren't locked in. The shop was closed by the looks of it. I had to get around the front corner in order to get the window. White paint advertised the shop in a great floral display. I peered through the white swirls to catch a glimpse outside.

**UltimateHeroEric**: We gonna have to go back out there?

**SakurAssassin**: Yeah, but we're not too far away from one of the bosses. I think he's usually around here at this time.

**UltimateHeroEric**: He moves? That sounds inconvenient.

**SakurAssassin**: Yeah, it can be a bit troublesome to catch him sometimes.

**SalurAssassin**: There he is!

I bolted out of the shop and into the Parisian streets. Players were just strolling along, admiring the various boutiques. The boss knew I was on to him. He was fast and knew the streets of Paris far too well.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Where? I can't see him?

**SakurAssassin**: We've got to get him cornered. I need you to hide right under the Eiffel Tower. Wait for me there and follow my lead.

**UltimateHeroEric**: 10-4, sassy pants.

Eric fell away, and I stayed hot on the boss' trail. There were only so many ways he could go with all the people and incomplete road work. Thank god for French strikes. He wouldn't get far now. We were nearing the Seine River. The red sunshine from the sunset reflected on the river from the Parisian sky. My plan was working! The boss was headed straight for Paris' trademark. I prayed that Eric hadn't been locked away by a sea of horny fangirls.

**SakurAssassin**: Eric! Come out and block him!

Eric stepped out from behind one of the legs of the tower and rushed towards the middle. Obviously, nothing had stopped him. He was really getting good at the sneakiness. The boss slowed when he saw the intimidating player.

One by one I held up my hands in front of me. Eric mirrored my movements. The boss realized what we were doing and panicked. He tried to run off to one side to get away from my partner and me.

But I was already there. I redid the movements, and Eric did the same from behind.  
His pale face blanched. He was trapped by four invisible walls. A noticeable "O" of shock lined the boss' lips. A single finger traced down his face from the corner of his left eye, right by the black, painted-on teardrop. His lower lip stuck out before he buried his head in his hands. His body heaved with silent sobbing.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Is...is that a mime? Are you serious?

The mime fell to his knees. He clasped his hands together and squeezed his eyes shut. With his fingers intertwined, he shook his hands back and forth, begging for us to set him free.

**SakurAssassin**: Get ready for the single greatest game of charades ever.


	24. Charades

The mime had given up on the begging. He went into the corner of the invisible room and rolled himself up in a ball. I went to the opposite wall and held out my hand like I was holding a doorknob.

**SakurAssassin**: I hope you're ready for this.

I started to open the door.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Ready for what? It's not like he can fire a bazooka at us. He's just a mime. Not exactly very intimidating.

I had to close the door immediately.

**SakurAssassin**: Don't give him any ideas.

**UltimateHeroEric**: O.o What's the problem?

**SakurAssassin**: He's a mime. We're not the only ones who create things from our imagination.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Oh. So why aren't we going in? If he could read what we were saying, wouldn't he already know? We'd already be dead.

**SakurAssassin**: He can't read what we're saying from this side of the wall. I'd rather not get hit with heavy artillery in such a confined space, so if there is anything else dangerous you want to talk about, say it now.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Napalm. Tanks. Death rays. Scorpions. Sharks. Snowball. Calling women fat. My brother's cooking. Especially his scones.

**SakurAssassin**: You good?

**UltimateHeroEric**: Yeah. Let's do this.

I grabbed the doorknob again and swung the door into the invisible room. The mime scrambled to his feet.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Alright, mime give it up!

The mime held up his hands in innocence. He shook his head and made a cross on his chest, indicating that he hadn't done anything.

**SakurAssassin**: It's no use. We already know you're a boss.

The mime's mouth popped open in realization when he figured out what we wanted. He held his finger up. His face went deadly serious. He rushed back towards the wall and squatted down like he was sitting in a chair. He held a bent arm against his torso and used the other to stroke the air like he was petting a cat. He indicated for us to proceed.

**UltimateHeroEric**: That's right, mime. It's time to fight!

The mime quit the Godfather act. He stood up and showed off his vaudeville boxing stance. His clenched fists circled around each other, and he jumped around as if it were some sort of weird dance.

**SakurAssassin**: No, it's not. We're here for something else. We want your challenge.

The mime went into deep thought. He came to a realization and searched for something behind his red suspenders. He couldn't find what he was looking for, so he continued his search in his other articles clothing.

He suddenly remembered and clapped his gloved hands together. Two business cards magically appeared. He handed one to each of us. It read:

* * *

"Salût, players! You've managed to find me and accept my challenge! That's pretty impressive, but are you as impressive as me?"

* * *

**UltimateHeroEric**: O.o looks like we found ourselves a pretty arrogant mime-boss.  
The letters on the card shifted.

* * *

"I communicate purely by my actions."

* * *

**UltimateHeroEric**: If that was true, why would he need these cards in the first place?

The mime stomped his foot.

* * *

"Alright, smart-ass. You better shut up. I've had just about enough of you. Either be quiet, or I'm out of here."

* * *

The mime waited a bit before he changed the letters.

* * *

"Here's the deal. Each of your cards will display a word or phrase you'll have to act out. An extra set of controls will be available to you at this time to allow for specific actions. While you're doing this, your messaging will be deactivated. You won't be able to communicate verbally with the other. Got it?"

* * *

**SakurAssassin**: Yes.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Yep!

My card went blank indicating that Eric was going to go first. He stared at his card before he actually started.

His hands went to his chest. At first, I was really confused of what he was trying to do. Then, his hands went down his body curving inward and outward again. He popped his hip to the side focusing all on his weight on one leg, placing his hands on his hips.

I laughed at his representation. It was funny to see someone of Eric's character act like a woman. He placed his hand out and leaned closer to something I wasn't quite sure of yet. He held something small in his other hand. His lips puckered, and he brought the invisible object to his mouth. Lipstick. Eric was applying lipstick. I couldn't stop laughing.

He went over to the side. He lifted his arms over his head. He did some sort of wriggling move, then he pulled the rest of his invisible clothing down. He reached awkwardly to the back to reach the invisible zipper.

Something caught his attention, so he shuffled to the middle of the room. He straightened up and flipped his long invisible hair over his shoulder. He pursed his lips.

He walked toward me in a straight line. His strides were long and graceful. Well, as graceful as a bulky cowboy with a bazooka on his back can get. He turned and struck a pose when he got to where I was.

**SakurAssassin**: Fashion model

Eric held his fingers close together. So I hadn't quite gotten it. I thought back to think of any adjective I might have missed in his acting.

Suddenly, Eric's hands were on my face. His face went down to either side of my cheek.

**SakurAssassin**: A French fashion model!

**UltimateHeroEric**: Mais oui, mon ami!

**UltimateHeroEric**: Ah, looks like I can't do the frenchie action again.

**SakurAssassin**: Yeah, since I guessed correctly, you don't have to pretend to be French anymore. Those actions were only there for the charade sketch.

**UltimateHeroEric**: So, what did you think of my invisible cross-dressing? Pretty sexy, right? ;)

**SakurAssassin**: You were fabulous, darling :)

My card began to flash. It would be my turn soon. I sort of wondered what I would have to act out. It couldn't always be predictable. The game was designed to pick out something that was popular or recently searched on the Internet.

The game decided. I looked down and read the words: Kiki Nihonda. Great. Just great. Wasn't this just fabulous.

* * *

How in the world was I supposed to act like myself? No, I was supposed to act as how the world saw me.

I thought back to what they had recently seen me doing. How they saw me. The first thing I did was draw a giant question mark over my body.

**UltimateHeroEric**: The Riddler!

I shook my head and took a step back. I brought a rectangle to my face and clicked an invisible button. I moved around a bunch, but had my invisible cameras aimed at the same general place. I pretended to be another person as I rolled out a long invisible red carpet.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Is this some sort of premiere or something?

I nodded my head. I went to the end of the carpet and opened up an invisible door for myself. I ran and dodged across the carpet just like I had done the last time the press saw me. I pointed to myself when I got to the end.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Uh, was it some sort of racing movie?

I shook my head. Maybe I needed to make it a bit more personal. I pointed to Eric.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Me...

I drew a heart in front of me slowly.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Heart...

Finally, I pointed to myself.

**UltimateHeroEric**:...Huh?

It wasn't working. I couldn't think of the way Eric saw Kiki. It wasn't quite something I could understand. I guess what I should be focussing on was how I saw myself. How I saw Kiki. Everyday.

I waved my arms out in front of me to indicate that he needed to clear out everything I had tried to tell him before.

I sat down at my invisible desk. I traced out the invisible computer and screen in front of me. I pushed the computer on and quickly turned myself around so I was in the screen I had indicated before. I tilted my head to the side and smiled like Kiki did in the opening sequence.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Oh my gosh, Kiki! You're Kiki Nihonda!

**SakurAssassin**: Yes! You finally got it! We won!

"UltimateHeroEric would like to shake your hand."

I happily accepted and we went through the motions.

**UltimateHeroEric**: I can't believe I didn't guess that before!

**SakurAssassin**: Yeah, I would have thought that you would have gotten it at the heart thing. Unless you have some other crush besides Kiki, of course.

**UltimateHeroEric**: I must have been out of it or something.

**UltimateHeroEric**: So...what now.

We both looked to the mime. He smiled and waved to us from across the invisible room under the Eiffel Tower. He walked for a bit, his upper body going lower. Eventually his whole body disappeared into the ground.

**UltimateHeroEric**: What the...

**SakurAssassin**: It's a mime thing. Invisible descending staircase and all that.

**UltimateHeroEric**: So did that whole thing even count? It's not just invisible mime-boss joke, is it?

**SakurAssassin**: It's as real as you want it to be. You've just got to believe :)

**UltimateHeroEric**: :P So. Paris. Anything else we've got to do here or are we moving on?

**SakurAssassin**: I think there's something here that might be rather...interesting.

**UltimateHeroEric**: -.- ... Your interesting scares me. Should I be scared?

**SakurAssassin**: This is France. How intimidating are you thinking this is going to be?

**UltimateHeroEric**: I don't know. There could be a giant escargot monster ravaging the city.

The was highly unlikely, considering the serenity of Paris at sunset. I grabbed his hand so I could lead him through the streets of Paris.

**SakurAssassin**: Come on! Let's go draw out some giant snails!

**AN: Sorry this was out a little late again. These past few days have been really rough for me. Still are rough. But hey, at least the update is back on the weekend again! I hope you enjoyed!**


	25. Way Too Far

**UltimateHeroEric**: You know, when you said we were going to draw out some giant snails, this isn't exactly what I thought you meant.

I couldn't exactly see Eric at the moment. We had opened the art application in the game. Just one of the steps of getting to the next boss. I was finishing up the shading as my giant snail took a calm stroll down the Champs Élysées, a trail of slime glittering in the sunset.

**SakurAssassin**: You technically could have drawn something else. I just thought it might be fun. I haven't done this in a while.

**UltimateHeroEric**: You like to draw giant snails? O.o

**SakurAssassin**: On occasion :)

**UltimateHeroEric**: That explains a lot

**SakurAssassin**: :P

**UltimateHeroEric**: Okay. I submitted mine. You done yet?

**SakurAssassin**: Almost. I've just got to finish up one last requirement.

**UltimateHeroEric**: ...requirement? We didn't just have to draw a picture?

**SakurAssassin**: -.- You skipped through the instructions, didn't you. It's okay. My drawing should be enough to get to the boss.

As soon as I submitted, the museum curator and owner of the studio came to look over my shoulder.

"C'est magnifique! You two are angels for helping me out. With these masterpieces, we'll be sure to catch the art thief this time!"

**UltimateHeroEric**: You know, you probably wouldn't get all of those paintings stolen if you stopped labeling that room as "priceless masterpieces."

The guy looked over mine with a satisfied glance. When he got to Eric's, he made a face. Oh God, what did Eric make? The possibilities were endless with him.

"Well, I guess I'll take anything at this point. It's not like I have anything else to display," the curator said under his breath. He gathered up our paintings and headed over to the museum ahead of us.

**UltimateHeroEric**: What's his problem?

**SakurAssassin**: What exactly did you draw, Eric?

**UltimateHeroEric**: Giant snails. Same as you. Why?

**SakurAssassin**: I don't know. I guess I'll just have to see it when we get there.

* * *

The curator happened to be in charge of the most prestigious art museum in Paris. In there, you could find the greatest works of art. Some of them were actually classics: Da Vinci and Van Gogh. Others were just really good pieces of fan art. I'd have to steer us clear of the UltimateHerossasssin section. I don't think I'd be able to handle that.

There was a special room for the art made in the game. They were literally "priceless masterpieces" because you really couldn't sell them for anything in the game.

Now, the boss in this area was kind of strange. He was a masked thief named Mirage who liked to take these "priceless masterpieces". He was helpful in the way it cleared out all the old drawings to make room for the new ones. Drawings in the game could only be displayed for about twenty-four hours. He happens to be crazy fast. He's french, so he was naturally good at running away. He had alluded all the people who tried to catch him before. He stole the art in a blink of an eye. The only time he could be caught was when he saw something truly extraordinary. He'd pause for a moment. Just long enough to get caught in the trap.

Eric and I were waiting in the museum behind the corner. It was only a matter of time before he showed up.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Seriously, why would they label this place "priceless masterpieces?"

**SakurAssassin**: I think he's coming.

He appeared as a blur. He'd be there for one minute and then be gone the next. Drawing after drawing disappeared from the walls and displays. He came to Eric's before he got to mine. He paused. Seriously, he paused. He picked up the drawing from the display.

"What the f-" the thief said.

Eric pressed the button, and the cage in front of his painting fell over the boss.

"Son of a..." The thief took off his mask and flipped his long blond silky hair. "I'm too pretty to be captured this early. And over that piece of merde?"

**UltimateHeroEric**: Dude, I actually did it!

Eric and I approached the room with all the paintings. I was more than a little bit surprised. I finally got a good look at Eric's drawing.

**SakurAssassin**: Is that supposed to be Ultimate Hero Man?

**UltimateHeroEric**: Yeah! If Paris is getting attacked by giant escargot, it needs a hero! No one better for the job than Ultimate Hero Man!

Technically, Eric did manage get the art requirements. The obscure ones at least. I think the game thought that Eric's drawing was some sort of abstract comic-style masterpiece. There was a giant snail with sharp teeth, mounted on the Eiffel Tower King Kong style. The snail was swiping down planes with his enormous eyes. Flying off to the side was Ultimate Hero Man in his star spangled macabre outfit. He busted through the snail's iron like shell with a single punch.

"Ha! That's supposed to be Paris? How dare you say that about my beautiful city!" the thief said.

**UltimateHeroEric**: No hate, Mirage dude. You're the one who stopped to admire the drawing.

"I stopped," Mirage said slowly. "Because I've never seen a worse drawing in my life. Just look! Look!" Mirage pointed to the drawing. "That outfit is atrocious! The only good thing about the stupid drawing is the pretty little thing blowing the loser kisses from the top of the building."

Someone was on the building? I did a double check. All I could see was a black speck. Where was Mirage getting this? He wasn't supposed to comment on things that weren't there. Maybe Eric had drawn a French damsel in distress. Just you know, really zoomed in...

"She's too good for him. Or he. You know, it's not entirely clear at this point... Whatever it is, it has the hots for the striped douche-bag, and it's not fair," he continued.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Well...talk about looking too far into things...heh heh heh

**UltimateHeroEric**: What do we do now? We caught him, so what next? Do we kill him?

"Kill me?!" Mirage exclaimed. Tears formed in his eyes. "Oh no, I'm too gorgeous to die! I'll do anything! I surrender! You can have all the paintings back! Even the idiotic one!"

**UltimateHeroEric**: Ha! He surrenders and insults in the same breath. I don't know if I like these French bosses.

**SakurAssassin**: I wouldn't worry about him. We already beat him. He'll escape in a minute or two.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Escape? Ah...there he goes. And I believe we should thank my masterpiece for this victory. Definitely a keeper. Saving it as my wallpaper as we speak.

**SakurAssassin**: You do have excellent drawing control of your mouse. It's actually pretty impressive in that perspective.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Oh yeah, I never saw what yours was like. I better go check it out.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Holy schnike! How did you learn to draw like that? On a computer no less...It's amazing!

**SakurAssassin**: It's really nothing, and I learned from YouTube videos.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Can I... It wouldn't be too creepy if I saved this picture, too, would it? Do you mind?

**UltimateHeroEric**: Sorry. Stalker question. No wonder you're on edge all the time.

**SakurAssassin**: You can have it if you really want. Have fun with your snails.

**UltimateHeroEric**: You can find me at the bottom of the ocean. Where I obviously belong.

**SakurAssassin**: With a pineapple?

**UltimateHeroEric**: Most likely

"It's not like I'm ungrateful or anything," the curator said to us suddenly. "But the museum is closed, so get out."

* * *

We were pretty much pushed out and onto the streets of Paris. I hadn't realized how late it had gotten. What time was it for Eric?

**UltimateHeroEric**: Talk about pardon my French. The sooner we get out of this place the better. France gives me the crepes.

**SakurAssassin**:...typo?

**UltimateHeroEric**:...no. I know it won't be real, but is there any way we can get some crepes? I've always wanted to try one.

**SakurAssassin**: You really can be ridiculous sometimes.

There was a little crepe stall set up near the Eiffel Tower. I treated both of us to a couple of crepes. I handed one to Eric. He consumed it immediately. UltimateHeroEric gained a measly three HP.

**SakurAssassin**: Well? Was it everything you dreamed it would be?

The lights on the Eiffel Tower started glittering. Midnight. For me at least. That was three AM for Eric.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Better. Aren't you going to eat that?

**SakurAssassin**: Saving it for later. Hey, isn't it pretty late over there? You have school in the morning, don't you?

**UltimateHeroEric**: Yeah, it's not really a big deal. Not much going on.

**UltimateHeroEric**: You know the girls in my class always go on and on about Paris. How romantic it is and stuff.

I looked up to all the glittering lights and star that filled the Paris nightlife. The ideal of any teenage girl. Who wouldn't want to get swept off their feet in a place like this?

**SakurAssassin**: Really?

I remember those days, dreaming in class of a better place and time. Wanting more than anything to find someone to share my world with. Silly preteen stuff really. I got over it like any other phase. It was better to just get away. I guess Eric was still around people like that, though.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Yeah, I really don't get all the allure either. Women are strange.

**SakurAssassin**: No argument there.

Women are strange, really. We couldn't even understand ourselves sometimes. Just random things could send us over the edge. Like this exact moment. For some reason, I was feeling really really weird. And I had no idea why. I couldn't even tell if I liked it or not.

"UltimateHeroEric would like to shake your hand."

I was only feeling even weirder after the sequence. What in the world was going on?

**UltimateHeroEric**: Yeah, so...goodnight, sassy pants.

* * *

We both logged off, and I shut my computer down. My glasses and headphones clattered to my desk. My hands went to my chest, and I rolled myself back from the computer. I closed my eyes and tried to push my fast pumping heart back where it belonged.

Maybe I had made Paris far too much like my imagination. That had to be the reason I was reacting in this silly way. I was thinking too far into things. It really wasn't that big of deal. It was just Eric and me there. It shouldn't be a big deal.

But somehow, it was. I sighed and got up. It was a big deal, and I didn't know why. It was late. I really should get some sleep.

**AN: So guys...guess what :) We're five reviews away from 200 on this baby. Seriously. I've done many a happy dance for this occasion. I really wish I could do something special for you guys. I could give away spoilers? But only to the 200th. But then again, most people don't like spoilers. It ruins the magic. So yeah, I can only really offer spoilers for now. They could ask for spoilers for this one or one of my other fics. Heck, you could ask for a spoiler on one of the stories in my mind that I haven't written yet. Other than that, I've got nothing. But seriously, you guys are amazing :P**


	26. Procrastination

Well, so much for sleeping. I couldn't stand just twisting around in my sheets any longer. It was too early for me to want to get up, but I did anyway. I shuffled my way over to the kitchen and made myself some tea. Maybe that would calm my nerves.

I looked around my dark apartment as I sipped my tea, trying to find something to take my mind off things. I wasn't quite ready to get back on my computer again. I knew there were things to do, but I just couldn't face it yet.

I guess there was one thing I could do in situations like this. A little bit of cleaning never hurt anyone. I got to the supply closet. I had to stand on my tip toes to reach the cleaning supplies on the top shelf.

Most of my apartment was relatively clean. I had fallen behind a little bit in some areas though. It gave me at least a little bit of work to do. There were a few dishes piled up in the sink. I filled the sink up with soapy water. I worked until the suds reached all the way past my elbows. I left the dishes to dry and moved on.

The parts of the apartment that I didn't use very often basically just got a light dusting. I made up my bed with extra care. I wiped down the surfaces in my bathroom. I cleaned until everything was shining like it was supposed to. I had gone through my apartment from the room of least use to the rooms used more often, but I knew there was one room I had to go to.

It got the point where I couldn't delay it any longer. I took a breath and brought my supplies to my gaming room. I still avoided my computer. Instead, I went to the shelves lining the little room. I smiled a bit at the memories that were manifested in front of me.

At the very top of the shelf was my very first gaming system. It was covered in dust and barely workable, but I still loved it. I wiped off the dust layer and put it back. I did that to all of the systems and computers. I ran my fingers across my hundreds of games. Not all of them were from Nihonda, but they were all very precious to me. Each one had unique story lines and styles. I don't know where I'd be without each and every single one of them. It was pretty interesting to see how far everything had come. How far I had come.

To the right of my games were all my concepts. Some of the papers were out of line, so I took them out. I had to laugh. There was a drawing that I had made when I was four. A drawing I never showed my Dad to put in his games like I had done with so many others. I had saved this one for myself. This particular concept never quite made it into World of Warcraft III, but it is what sort of started it. Mr. Independence. He was the leader of America and went around saving people. He and his other country comrades would lead the player through various wonderful experiences. On closer inspection, it almost looked like Eric's Ultimate Hero Man.

I sighed. I realized what I'd have to do. I had been denying myself and pushing this out of my mind for far too long. It was plain and simple. I was scared. Mortified really. I had never done something like this before. If I had, there really would be no point to the whole thing.

I'd just have to tell him. That wouldn't be too hard. I'd just have to tell him how I feel. No more dilly dallying. I started up my computer and made the connection.

* * *

"Hey sweetie! You're up early!" I had caught my dad on Skype right as he got to his office. He still hadn't loosened the tie around his neck. "I'm glad that you called!"

"I've got something to tell you," I said. I was going to do it. I was going to go through with it.

"Oh? This must be pretty important. What is it, cutie pie?" he asked.

"The convention. I think it's a good idea. I want to do it," I said.

My father's face lit up. "That's great! I'll just call up another conference..."

"Dad. If we're going to do it, I want to do it on my terms. Please? Could you let me take care of it?" I asked.

He looked dubious at first, but he finally let up. "Alright, pumpkin. We'll do it your way. It's going to be a lot of work. I'm proud of you, you know."

I sighed in relief and gave him a half smile. "I know, and thanks."

"No problem. Hey, we should meet up for lunch some time! What do you say? Want to spend some quality time with your old man?"

I laughed. "Maybe sometime." I yawned.

"You look like you could use some more sleep. Love you, honey!" my dad said.

"Love you too, Dad," I said before I logged off.

Well, with that out of the way, I was sure I would be able to sleep a lot better. I went back to my bedroom and crawled under the covers of my neatly made bed.

* * *

Well, at least I slept for a few hours. That was a weird dream. I couldn't quite remember it, but it left me really uncomfortable. And hot.

I threw my covers off of me. This was a good of time of gaming as any time. I got up and made myself a quick lunch before I went to my gaming room, without any hesitation this time. I only had to wait a few minutes before Eric logged back online.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Hey sassy pants!

**SakurAssassin**: Hey yourself.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Hope you at least had a good day.

**SakurAssassin**: It was alright I guess. Couldn't sleep last night, so I mostly just slept today.

Minus one very important meeting with my dad and a semi-vigorous cleaning of my apartment.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Lucky.

**SakurAssassin**: The perks of being old. I'm guessing your day didn't go so well?

**UltimateHeroEric**: I didn't exactly get much sleep :(

**SakurAssassin**: I'm sorry. I didn't mean to keep you up. Maybe if I had drawn a little faster, you could have gotten more sleep.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Don't pin this on yourself, silly butt. I'm the one who had to stop for virtual crepes. Besides, what time I did spend in bed I couldn't get to sleep no matter how hard I tried.

**SakurAssassin**: Silly butt? Whatever happened to sassy pants?

**UltimateHeroEric**: You know what? I'm tired. You were being silly and a butt to yourself. You earned the name silly butt, so now, you're just going to have to earn the name sassy pants back :P

**SakurAssassin**: -.- maybe we should just call it quits for today. You're obviously not functioning very well, so I'll give you time to refresh.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Aw, don't leave me, sassy pants! I'm okay! I even gave you your name back!

**SakurAssassin**: Okay then. It's not like we'll be doing anything that will require your full attention anyway.

**UltimateHeroEric**: :P We finished up in France, right? Where are we headed next?

**SakurAssassin**: Italy. We'll start walking there.

We started heading away from the Eiffel Tower. Away from Paris. Away from whatever happened there.

**UltimateHeroEric**: You know what I find odd? About France, I mean?

**SakurAssassin**: Lots of things? It is France afterall...

**UltimateHeroEric**: No...Yes...I mean, France is supposed to be a really romantic country, right? How come we didn't run into the romance part of the game? Capturing hearts and whatnot. There should be a boss for that, right?

**SakurAssassin**: That is a very good question, Eric.

**UltimateHeroEric**: ...and?

**SakurAssassin**: Truth is I've kind of been avoiding it. France had some romance bosses, but I skipped over them all.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Why?

**SakurAssassin**: I find it all extremely awkward. Little info on me: I'm not exactly a Casanova.

**UltimateHeroEric**: That's okay. I've gotten used to defeating all these bosses. I'll capture the heart of the next romance boss.

**SakurAssassin**: Sorry to ruin your streak, but it's going to have to be me.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Why? I've got the moves :) Plus, no woman can resist a cowboy.

**SakurAssassin**: You already have Tony. Your one true alien bromance. We'll probably need him for a quick get away soon, so you can't just get rid of him. And I never said that the romance boss was going to be a woman.

**UltimateHeroEric**: And your probably means pretty much definitely. Ooh, that is awkward.

**SakurAssassin**: You have no idea.

**UltimateHeroEric**: If you could choose between a male romance boss and a female romance boss, which would you choose?

**SakurAssassin**: You are headed right into confidential area. Plus, I don't really have much of a choice anymore. We're going to need a romance boss to get to the final boss, and there's only one romance boss left.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Cutting it kind of close, huh? You really do avoid this stuff.

**SakurAssassin**: Like the plague.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Might as well get it out of the way now I guess. Who knows. It might actually be pretty entertaining ;)

**SakurAssassin**: -.- No way. I'm going to push that away until the last minute. We'll get some other boss first and then make one hell of a getaway.

**UltimateHeroEric**: :P Never really pictured you as a procrastinator but whatever. We'll do it your way.


	27. The Greatest Thing

The mountains to get to Italy weren't nearly as intense as what we had to get through to get to Russia. There was a nice little pass that weaved through the valleys. The closer we got to the border, the sunnier and clearer the sky became.

The mountains slowly turned to green hills, and we were starting to get back into signs of civilizations.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Wow, these buildings are really old.

The buildings that we came across were falling apart at best.

**SakurAssassin**: Well, they were designed to have been built in ancient times.

**UltimateHeroEric**: It's a little creepy to walk through all these abandoned buildings. Like there's going to be something to jump out at us at anytime. Of course, I'll be here to rescue you as always ;)

**SakurAssassin**: Right 'cause I really need you

**UltimateHeroEric**: :P Sarcasm?

**SakurAssassin**: Maybe. Maybe not. You'll just have to wait and find out :P

"H-halt! Who goes there?" a voice called out.

Eric head whipped around trying to look for the potential attacker.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Dude, where did that come from?

"D-don't try to find us! You never will. Look, if you want to cross the border you've got to follow my instructions! You won't cross any other way. We've got you completely surrounded."

**UltimateHeroEric**: If they have us completely surrounded, how are they so sure we won't be able to find them? O.o

"Th-this doesn't have to be difficult. You see that building over there? You'll see a receptor. Deposit 20 dollars, and you can go on your way."

There was really one thing in the area that could be classified as a building per se. Everything else was a wreck. Eric and I walked over there. Nestled in the ground was a slot like receptor to accept money. Next to the slot was a black speaker with a light that glowed red.

The money manifested in Eric's hand. He bounced it lightly in his palm and dropped it in. The light on the speaker turned green.

"Grazie! Thank you so much for coming! We really hope you enjoy yourself in Italy! There's lots of pretty sights and pretty ladies..."

We walked further along the road.

**UltimateHeroEric**: There wasn't anybody out here, was there.

**SakurAssassin**: I guess we'll never know...

**UltimateHeroEric**: Man, the game designers must have gotten lazy on this or something.

I could feel myself bristle a bit at that.

**SakurAssassin**: I wouldn't exactly say they're lazy.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Oh, I'm sure they worked very hard in some aspects. But seriously? A speaker for a guard?

**SakurAssassin**: I'm sure there's a very good back story to their characters.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Okay... What do you think their deal is?

**SakurAssassin**: I don't know. Maybe they're a bunch of scaredy cats. The guards might not be the strongest fighters. Maybe they're intimidated by players. Maybe in order to save face they keep surveillance and put up a front to make you believe that they have everything under control.

**UltimateHeroEric**: That's one theory, I guess.

**SakurAssassin**: All right, wise guy. What do you think?

**UltimateHeroEric**: Check it out!

Eric's character pointed at crumbling walls and columns standing alone throughout the ruins.

**UltimateHeroEric**: These are Italians. The mafia, sassy pants! They only want you think that they're weak. That way, you won't expect it when they ambush you. I'm thinking...twenty...maybe thirty snipers laying in wait. Not to mention all the families of assassins in stealth mode waiting to jump from the columns and walls. You're lucky that I was here, sassy pants. You almost fell for their trap.

**SakurAssassin**: Uh huh, I think you already fell for their trick. That's quite an imagination you have there. If there are assassins I should probably tell them hi. It's always nice to meet others in the same profession.

**UltimateHeroEric**: An imagination that saved your butt. Although, I did expect their surveillance to be a bit more impressive given all the eyes on this place. They didn't even charge you for crossing the border.

**SakurAssassin**: I guess neither security cameras here nor the trained assassin eyes can pick up on my invisibility.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Guess that means we could have taken them. I can see you just fine ;)

**SakurAssassin**: Special circumstances

**UltimateHeroEric**: Special circumstances warrant special handshakes, right?

**SakurAssassin**: Why not

* * *

The ruins gave way to actual structure. Once we saw more players, we took a different route into the city. We scaled the walls and went from roof to roof. A bit of a different entrance from the last country when we made it through underground. I stopped on one of the roofs and lifted up a panel. I turned my invisibility off before we dropped down into a white, steam filled kitchen.

**UltimateHeroEric**: It's food again. God, it looks so good. Wouldn't it be perfect if you could actually taste things in games?

**SakurAssassin**: I think we're quite a bit of a ways away from that development.

The players in the kitchen looked at us. They seemed astounded that we had fallen into the kitchen like that but went back to work anyway.

**UltimateHeroEric**: A guy can dream. So are we going street level?

**SakurAssassin**: Nope. We've got a boss to beat.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Awesome. Want me to beat up these people for you?

**SakurAssassin**: That won't be necessary. They're just trapped here same as you and me.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Trapped? But we just got here :(

**SakurAssassin**: It won't be for long. We've just got to get things cooking.

There was one open cooking station. It was a good thing we wouldn't have to deal with overflow. Then we probably would have to fight off some players.

**UltimateHeroEric**: I've got to admit. I don't really have a lot of experience in the kitchen area.

I laughed a bit to myself.

**SakurAssassin**: You can't cook?

**UltimateHeroEric**: I wouldn't go that far. My brother is the one who can't and shouldn't ever cook, so I've kind of gotten in the habit of eating out all the time. I can make a mean grilled cheese sandwich though.

**SakurAssassin**: I don't think you should have that much of a problem. There will be instructions that are pretty straight forward and pop up whenever you want to make something.

There was a cook book on the middle of the counter. I flipped it open. It looked like the ingredient of the day was tomatoes.

**SakurAssassin**: Looks like we have a good chance of getting through on the first go.

**UltimateHeroEric**: What kind of recipes are in there?

**SakurAssassin**: Pretty much anything and there's always room for freestyle.

**UltimateHeroEric**: I say we make an MLT!

**SakurAssassin**: ...was that a Princess Bride reference?

**UltimateHeroEric**: Nothing can top a nice mutton, lettuce, and tomato sandwich, sassy pants! We'll beat the boss for sure!

**SakurAssassin**: Alright...if that's really what you want to make...

I inputted the ingredients that we would need: lamb, lettuce, tomatoes, and bread.

**SakurAssassin**: The lamb's going to take a while, so we've got to get it started first.

I rubbed down the meat with various herbs and spices like rosemary and thyme and stuck the lamb leg in the oven. A little timer appeared on my window that indicated an hour and a half.

**UltimateHeroEric**: What now?

**SakurAssassin**: You could try cutting the bread.

**UltimateHeroEric**: I can do that.

He went over to the knife holder and pulled out a butcher's knife.

**SakurAssassin**: Not that one. You need a bread knife. It will look kind of like a saw.

Eric put the butcher knife back and pulled out the long blade with the jagged teeth.

**UltimateHeroEric**: This it?

**SakurAssassin**: Yeah. You'll probably want a cutting board as well.

He got it out and placed the bread on the board. He held the knife out in front of him. It wriggled a bit in his hand.

**SakurAssassin**: Performance issues, partner?

**UltimateHeroEric**: This is a lot harder to control than it looks. I don't know how you do it all the time.

**SakurAssassin**: Weapons and these cooking knives are a bit different. It's programmed that I have a somewhat solid grip on my blade.

Eric dropped the knife on the counter. He picked it back up quickly.

**UltimateHeroEric**: You didn't see that.

**SakurAssassin**: If it makes you feel better, I dropped the cooking knives a few times before I got the hang of it.

**UltimateHeroEric**: It does a little, actually.

The knife straightened out, and he went towards the bread. He cut off the butt end of the loaf and held the slice in front of his face. One edge was about an inch thick; the other was a millimeter.

**UltimateHeroEric**: I'm guessing this doesn't quite cut it.

**SakurAssassin**: Not quite, but you do have a whole loaf to try.

Trial after trial, Eric's slices got better. It was pretty amusing how hard he tried just slicing bread. He was nearly at the end of the loaf when he was finally satisfied.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Look at them, sassy pants! Aren't these the most perfect, awesome slices of bread that you have ever seen?!

He showed the slices of the white bread to me.

**SakurAssassin**: Magnificent, Eric. No words describe how proud I am of your bread slicing abilities. It's very nice. Perfect for our sandwich.

**UltimateHeroEric**: :P

There was a beep in my headphones. The lamb was finally done. I slipped on some oven mitts and pulled that baby out of the oven.

**SakurAssassin**: While this is resting, you can tear apart the lettuce.

Eric enthusiastically tore the leaves of lettuce apart. The plant made satisfying ripping sounds.

**UltimateHeroEric**: lol, this is much easier than the bread!

I slid the cutting board towards myself. I wiped off the remaining bread crumbs and placed the bread off to the side. I got out a carving knife and quickly started slicing the tomatoes.

**UltimateHeroEric**: -.- You are a lot better at that than I am.

**SakurAssassin**: I've had a bit more practice :P

I wiped the tomato juices from the knife and went toward the lamb. I sliced the meat and placed it on a plate. After I had done a few slices, Eric grabbed the plate from.

**UltimateHeroEric**: I think I can handle making the sandwich part.

**SakurAssassin**: Don't mess up the order :P

**UltimateHeroEric**: :P

He carefully layered the mutton on the bread. He tucked the meat in with ruffled blankets of lettuce. The green fields were then adorned with ruby red tomato slices. He topped it all off with another piece of bread.

**UltimateHeroEric**: There!

I then took Eric's sandwich and sliced it in half.

**UltimateHeroEric**: :O You killed it!

**SakurAssassin**: It's fine. There are two judges. We need two sandwiches, so unless you want to slice up some more bread...

**UltimateHeroEric**: No. No, this is fine. No need to slice more bread. You just made the sandwich more perfect, that's all.

**SakurAssassin**: That's what I thought B|

There was a loud blaring of an alarm. The judging was about to begin.

* * *

The players wanting to beat the bosses lined up on the stage. In the empty auditorium, there was one desk with two bosses sitting there, waiting to eat and judge. Together, they looked like one of those drama masks. One was incredibly happy. The other was incredibly grumpy.

"Alright, you jerks. If you want to get out of here, give us your mediocre food," the grumpy one said.

"Sneer, you could try to be a little nicer. They did make food for us," the happy one said.

"Be quiet, Smiley. I don't want to hear any crap. I'll be tasting enough already. Let's just get this over with," Sneer said.

There was about ten other teams in front of us. The results were all roughly the same. Smiley would taste it first and give it a thumbs up. Then, Sneer would eat it and thoroughly reject it. The teams had to head back to the kitchen and try to make something else that would meet Sneer's standards. There was only room for like a 5 percent mistake margin. Very few teams could make it on the first go.

It got to the pair ahead of us. I almost hadn't noticed the food they prepared. Oh, this was going to end badly.

Smiley took a bite and began to choke.

"What the f-" Sneer started, shocked from Smiley's reaction.

"Did you seriously make a tomato scone? What kind of maniac does that? Are you trying to kill me?" Smiley exclaimed once he spat out his food.

True, there was a recipe for a tomato scone at the back of the recipe book, but that was the reaction you didn't want to get.

"Why the hell would you want to kill Smiley? He didn't even do a thing to you!" Sneer was becoming just as upset.

"You'll find I don't react too kindly to people who try to kill me." Smiley had his death glare fixed on the cooks of the tomato scones. Lasers shot out of his eyes and fried the pair to bits. They pixeled away and out of the auditorium.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Wow. A tomato scone? that doesn't even sound good. Think they did it on purpose?

**SakurAssassin**: That's one way to get out, I suppose. Suicide by scones.

"Who are these jerks?" Sneer said once we were up. "I don't remember letting them in."

"I think they just sort of 'dropped' in!" Smiley's mood was immediately alleviated.

Sneer shook his head. "Stop making jokes, Smiley. Bring us the food already."

Eric went up and placed the sandwich on the desk while I waited on the stage.

As usual, Smiley tasted first and grinned. "Sneer, you've got to try this!"

"Yeah, yeah," Sneer said indifferently. He took a bite of the sandwich and tasted critically.

"Hmm...the lamb is nice and lean. The tomato is ripe. It all tastes rather...perky." Sneer frowned.

"So, you like it?" Smiley asked enthusiastically.

"It's fine," Sneer said grumpily. He looked up at us. "Why are you still here? Get out already!" he shouted.

A door opened on stage right, so we made our dramatic exit.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Looks like I wasn't the only Princess Bride fan in the game.

**SakurAssassin**: I guess not.

**UltimateHeroEric**: But you knows what closely follows a good MLT sandwich? The second greatest thing in the whole wide world?

**SakurAssassin**: Oh God, don't remind me.

I really didn't want to do the next boss. I had no choice, and Eric knew it.

**UltimateHeroEric**: It's love, sassy pants. True love ;)

**AN: Thanks for your patience! If you aren't already aware, I have made a tumblr. It's basically like the special features section to the stories I write, including Critical Hit. If you want to check it out and try to figure out what I'm thinking, my username is sarahtonin411.**


	28. Equipped for Battle

**AN: This is it people! The moment I've been waiting the whole story for! I hope you enjoy it as much as I did!**

**SakurAssassin**: -.- Would you stop looking at me like that?

**UltimateHeroEric**: What makes you think that I'm looking at you any differently? All you can see is my character.

**SakurAssassin**: I can just tell. So stop, please?

**UltimateHeroEric**: I'm looking at you the way I always look you.

**SakurAssassin**: That didn't make me feel any more comfortable.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Well, I'm not comfortable with the fact that you can know what I look like :P You probably used secret Nihonda company information to send spies to watch me.

**SakurAssassin**: That would be against company policy as well as a bit ridiculous.

**UltimateHeroEric**: You're the one being ridiculous :P You don't have to be the one to beat the boss if you're that uncomfortable, you know. I could handle it you know.

**SakurAssassin**: I've told you. You already have Tony. You can't have his heart and this boss'. Plus, we need Tony to get away.

**UltimateHeroEric**: I'm sure we could find some other way to escape. True, Tony is my BFF, but he isn't, you know? He doesn't actually exist. I could give him up if you wanted me to. You're a bit more important to me than he is. Don't tell him I said that. He gets jealous.

Eric was willing to do that for me? I was touched. A little more than touched. There was like a fluttering aching in my chest. The delicate wavering feeling permeated through my body like every fiber of my being was doing the wave. Especially in my head. While everywhere else was relatively calm, my brain was having a freakin rave. Blind darkness followed by equally blinding colorful light. Just a mosh pit of wild dancing confusion. I'd have to figure out what the hell kind of feeling that was later.

**SakurAssassin**: You don't have to do that. Thanks for the offer, but I really can handle it.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Good. Because if you're this paranoid about the boss, it'll probably be hilarious to watch XD

**SakurAssassin**: ...you're a butt -.-

**UltimateHeroEric**: Work that sassy ass! XD

**SakurAssassin**: *sigh*

The gondola stopped there. The roads in the city were all waterways. We stepped onto the narrow walkway. Along the little strip were a few little shops. The center of most of the attention was a little café not far from where we were.

**UltimateHeroEric**: I wonder what the big deal is...

**SakurAssassin**: Looks like we're not the only ones trying to get the boss today.

We got closer to the commotion. I would have to assess the situation carefully. So far, it looked far from the most ideal situation.

**LoveKillStreak**: Hey there, beautiful.

"Um...Hello..."

The NPC was in the form of a young blonde girl. Her hair was cropped short, and there was a soft pink ribbon tied on one of her locks. The player LoveKillStreak approached her and played with the ribbon between his fingers.

**LoveKillStreak**: Tell me, did it hurt when you fell all that way from heaven?

There was the distinct sound of a cocked rifle. The barrel whipped up and pressed against the side of the player's head.

"Touch my sister again, and we'll see who the one hurting is."

The other NPC had short blond cropped hair like the girl. He wasn't nearly as sweet. The player backed away slowly.

**LoveKillStreak**: Look man! I wasn't looking for trouble.

"Then you better leave right now! That goes for the rest of you, too! No one is getting near my sister, so just back off!"

His greens eyes darted around the scene, personally challenging every player there. Nobody moved.

**LoveKillStreak**: I didn't want to have to do this in front of her...

The player sidestepped ad pulled out a gun of his own. He was fast. He obviously hadn't spent all of his time skirt chasing.

However, the NPC was faster. He shifted his rifle by the appropriate angle and fired. LoveKillStreak dissolved before the crowd's eyes.

Players were scrambling out of the way now.

"Come on, Bait. Let's go." The NPC slipped the rifle back on his back and grabbed his sister's hand.

"But, Switch..."

"I know a better place anyway. The food is tastier."

"Okay, whatever you say."

**UltimateHeroEric**: Her name is Bait! Ha! More like jail bait. Good luck with her, sassy pants! No wonder she's the boss when she's got her big brother protecting her heart or whatever. You must know some special trick or something.

**SakurAssassin**: Or something.

We followed them inconspicuously to the next café and got a table. It was a bit more rundown and shady than the other, but they really didn't have to worry about it. That was a good thing. Not as many witnesses.

"Switch, I'm wasn't programmed as a child."

"I know, Bait, but you wouldn't want to go with them anyway. It wouldn't be fun. You'd be their puppet. Their slave. They'd use you and then drop you like a hot potato."

"Oh."

"Oh is right missy. You're lucky you have me to protect you."

"You're right. I am lucky."

Bait reached across the table and grabbed her brother's hand.

**UltimateHeroEric**: O.O Looks like you have some competition.

**SakurAssassin**: Could you keep surveillance for me? Don't let them out and don't let anyone in besides me.

We needed to keep things at a minimum. Things were about to get ugly.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Where are you going?

**SakurAssassin**: Doesn't matter. I'll be right back. Just stay down and be quiet. We wouldn't want him to freak out.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Okay, but you better not be running away.

**SakurAssassin**: If only.

I slipped out. A few stores down was a little shop. It was full of different types of equipment. Their specialty was pretty, detailed armor and other clothes. I went in and straight to the back. The outfit I needed was tucked under stacks if clothes. It was far from being a hot ticket item. For good reason, too.

I was grateful that the store clerk NPC couldn't tell what I was buying. All she needed to know was that I was buying clothes. She rung me up, and I paid for the outfit begrudgingly.

The outfit stayed securely in my inventory. I paused once I got to the café. I really didn't want to do this. This was going to be embarrassing. Eric was going to laugh at me. There's no denying that fact. He was probably laughing right now, and he didn't even know what was going to happen. I might as well get this over with.

I equipped myself in the bright green lederhosen. Without any more hesitation, I made a double door entrance into the little restaurant.

**UltimateHeroEric**: qwerasdzxciophjklnm,.

As I thought. He probably fell off his chair laughing and tried to catch himself on his keyboard.

Switch got up from his seat.

"Oh hell no!"

He would try to get away. I couldn't him blame. I wouldn't want to do this either. I was really tired when I thought this up. No one was supposed to ever beat this boss. Nobody would want to. Still, I couldn't let him get away. I held out my hands to him.

**SakurAssassin**: O Vrenelli, my pretty one, pray tell me, where's your home?

Switch spun around unbelievably fast. His green military jacket and rifle were gone. Instead he was outfitted in a red and white dress. He still wore the same infuriated frown, though.

"My home it is in Switzerland. It's made of wood and stone. My home it is in Switzerland. It's made of wood and snow," he sang through his teeth. He grabbed my hands. "Yo!"

**SakurAssassin**: Ho!

The next part played out on its own. Switch and I danced around ridiculously in little circles. We finished with a last "Ya Ho Ho!

Switch's chest started to glow. A bright red heart appeared from his chest and rushed into mine. When that happened, a soft sweet smile came on Switch's face.

"Big...sister?" Bait said. She looked really freaked out about all of this. "You're scaring me. What just happened?"

**SakurAssassin**: Eric, get it together. You need to call Tony.

**SakurAssassin**: Eric, come on now.

Bait looked like she was going to start crying. Since I had her big brother's heart, Switch would have to come with me. There would be no one there to protect her. I unequipped my lederhosen.

Without a message from Eric, Tony's spaceship appeared in front of the café.

I released Switch's heart. I only needed to obtain it. I didn't need to keep it. After all, it would be kind of awkward if Switch followed us all the time. He'd probably just remind me of this embarrassing memory.

The heart floated back to his chest. With a swirl of colors, his clothes went back to normal. So did his face.

"What the hell! I'm going to kill you! I'm going to kill you until you're dead! And when you regenerate, I'll kill you some more!" he shouted.

I turned on my invisibility. That only discouraged him slightly before shooting at the exit in general. In his moment of hesitation, I ran out the doors and onto the ship.

Eric had gone on ahead of me in all the confusion. He still hadn't typed anything.

**SakurAssassin**: Would you stop laughing already? I'm embarrassed enough as it is.

**UltimateHeroEric**: How would you know what I look like?

**SakurAssassin**: Because I know you. And you're laughing your butt off. It really wasn't that funny, you know.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Yes, it was! XD And I thought seducing an alien was bad! You got a violent cross-dresser!

**UltimateHeroEric**: Switch and sassy pants, sitting in a tree. D-A-N-C-I-N-G!

**SakurAssassin**: He's not my type :P

**UltimateHeroEric**: What is your type? Just for, you know, curiosity reasons.

**SakurAssassin**: I don't know. I'd have to have at least something in common with them. I'm pretty sure Switch doesn't play video games.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Is that the only quality you look for? Affinity for video games?

**SakurAssassin**: It'd also help if they weren't a total jerk. Why are we on this subject again?

**UltimateHeroEric**: Right, well, moving on. Those game designers, huh? To think that Switch was the boss instead of Bait. I guess it works. If he cross-dressed, both genders could try to seduce him. If they were crazy enough to dress up in lederhosen and yodel for him of course. I wonder where they come up with stuff like that...

Sound of Music closely followed by Heidi when I had been staying up for far too long.

**SakurAssassin**: Who knows. Where are we headed by the way?

**UltimateHeroEric**: I think Tony is just using the coordinates from last time which would be...right outside New York. That's alright, isn't it?

**SakurAssassin**: Yeah, that's good. It'll be a good time to see if anyone else is getting close to catching us. We can get a plane to England from there tomorrow.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Sounds like a plan!

**SakurAssassin**: Good. I've had enough excitement for today. I think I'll log off.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Wait, sassy pants!

**SakurAssassin**: Yeah? What is it?

**UltimateHeroEric**: Handshake?

**SakurAssassin**: I don't know. You did tease me an awful lot today.

**UltimateHeroEric**: I'll dress up in lederhosen and seduce you if you want ;)

**SakurAssassin**: I think I'll pass

**UltimateHeroEric**: :( On the lederhosen or the handshake?

I rolled my eyes and initiated the handshake. I didn't do this very often. I always felt a bit weird from this side of the virtual ritual.

**SakurAssassin**: Goodnight, Eric.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Goodnight, sassy pants :)


	29. Number One Curveball

I guess I had logged on a bit early. Eric wasn't in the game yet. It was just me and Tony right outside of his spaceship. Tony stared at me awkwardly. I guess Eric had forgotten to send him away before he logged off. We were a bit of a ways away from the city. I'm sure we hadn't attracted too much attention.

My eyes wandered across the landscape. I could see the skyscrapers a bit off in the distance. There was something off though. Like I had skipped over something. I looked back, and it happened again. I went back and forth for a while. I couldn't see it, but I had a pretty good idea I knew what it was. Or who it was.

I squinted my eyes, and my suspicions were confirmed. I had too really focus to be able to see him. But why was he here? Birdie was waiting patiently a few feet from where we were for something. I didn't know what. There was nothing newsworthy or exciting out here. We had been sure to park the UFO well outside New York City. Was he just following us in general? I hadn't programmed him for anything like that. I could log off again to check his coding...

"Excuse me, SakurAssassin?" he said. Birdie got a few steps closer. I don't think he knew where to look. How could he even tell where I was? I should still be invisible. "This may be rather sudden, but on behalf of the Nihonda company, I've been programmed to interview you and ask a few questions."

I turned my invisibility off.

**SakurAssassin**: What are you talking about? I've never heard of anything like this.

"That's why I'm informing you now. It's all rather new, so if you'd just come with me..." Birdie said gently.

**SakurAssassin**: Who programmed this? I didn't approve this. Why did no one tell me?

"Huh?" Birdie said.

**SakurAssassin**: Forget it. I'll just get to the bottom of this myself.

Somebody was messing with my game. If this was a hacker I had to deal with it right away. It might be too late. Who knows how far this glitch error went back. Birdie said it was new. I needed to deal with this ASAP.

"Wait..." Birdie pleaded.

UltimateHeroEric logged on.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Hey, sassy pants. What's up?

**SakurAssassin**: I've got to log off really fast. I need to ask my higher-ups about something. I think someone is hacking the game.

"UltimateHeroEric? This may be rather sudden, but on behalf of the Nihonda company, I've been programmed to interview you and ask a few questions," Birdie said again.

**SakurAssassin**: Wait, him too?

**UltimateHeroEric**: What's going on?

"The Nihonda company is making a special announcement in the game tonight. I was programmed to find the top players in the game and interview them."

**UltimateHeroEric**: Ooh, a special announcement?

**UltimateHeroEric**: Hey sassy pants, do you know what it is?

You have got to be kidding me. Whose idea was this? This better not be what I thought it was. Everything like this was supposed to go through me.

**SakurAssassin**: Surprisingly, I did not know that they'd be announcing things today.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Must be a pretty epic surprise if they didn't let their employees know.

They didn't even let their employer know. Surprise!

"So if you to would come with me, we can get everything going," Birdie said.

**SakurAssassin**: I guess we could afford a little detour if we have to...

"Great!" Birdie said. He put his hands on both of us and we were transported to a newsroom. We were all sitting down on couches in the interview room. There was a wall filled with TVs in front of us as well as a TV camera. Most of the screens were either playing scenes of Eric or me.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Whoa

Eric indicated to the screens.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Hey, looks like I'm beating you by a boss B|

**SakurAssassin**: It doesn't really matter. We're a team.

**UltimateHeroEric**: That's what the losers say B|

**SakurAssassin**: The game's not over yet :P

**UltimateHeroEric**: Right. Then, I'll be a winner and a hero!

"This is the moment you've all been patiently waiting for!" a voice from one of the screens said. It looked and sounded like Maple. "My correspondent, Birdie, has managed to track down UltimateHeroEric and the ever elusive SakurAssassin. You've been watching them for weeks, and now, you'll finally hear what they have to say. Birdie, take it away!"

Wait, we were Internet live? This really was short notice. I felt myself tense up.

"So, uh," Birdie started off casually. "You guys have been all over the place, huh?"

**SakurAssassin**: Yes.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Yeah. We've been practically everywhere.

"You two happen to be the players who have defeated the most bosses. Did you know you are ranked number one and number two in the game?"

**SakurAssassin**: Yes

**UltimateHeroEric**: Still? Awesome! Which one's which?

"Uh..." Birdie flipped through his papers. "Looks like SakurAssassin is number one based on skill."

**SakurAssassin**: Yes

**UltimateHeroEric**: Oh come on! I'm never going to live that down...

"There have been suspicions for some time that you two are acting as a team. Is that true?"

I slapped my hand against my face. Who programmed these questions?

**SakurAssassin**: Yes.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Yes. Yes, we are :)

"Have you ever wanted to meet other players? Each other even? Maybe learn a bit more about the game?"

No no no no no no no! Not this!

**UltimateHeroEric**: O.O Are you serious? Of course!

They waited a while for my response.

**SakurAssassin**: Could you just get to the point, please?

"R-right, well because..."

"Because the Nihonda Gaming Company is holding a convention!" Maple interrupted on her screen. "The top three players will get an all expense paid trip to Los Angeles to participate in the convention July fifth through the eighth. All players and fans are invited to attend!"

We had just decided the dates and location today. Everything was completely chaotic. I just wanted to crawl under my desk. This wasn't supposed to happen.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Wow, that's fantastic! Is this really happening?

"The Nihonda company is very grateful to all the participants. As part of the game appreciation, there's going to be a panel for strategies and the best way to enjoy the game. The top players would be part of the panel of game experts as honorary guests."

I shoved my hands over my eyes and took my headphones off. I didn't want to hear or read anymore. Why hadn't this come to me first? I could have stopped this. I could have prevented this.

It was no use. I couldn't undo it at this point. I just had to think this through rationally. From the time Birdie came over, I had seen this coming. It was a surprise, yes, but nothing unmanageable. I'd just have to be calm and deal with the repercussions.

**SakurAssassin**: I'll be there.

I cut in the middle of Birdie explaining more things about the convention.

**UltimateHeroEric**: This just keeps getting better and better! :D Of course I'll be there!

"You two sure are confident. There's no guarantee that you'll keep the top spots though. Already, there are players inching closer to your rank," Birdie said.

Wait, exactly how close were they getting? There's no possible way someone could get to the end boss before us...

**UltimateHeroEric**: Really?

Bride nodded. "A player named FlyingBlueTurtle joined the game quite recently and has been beating bosses left and right. Most people speculate he's come to knock you guys off of the top spots."

**UltimateHeroEric**: Pssh, I'm not worried.

**SakurAssassin**: We should probably go.

There was something odd about all of this.

"Looks like that's it folks..." Maple trailed off from the screen.

"Thank you for your time," Birdie said.

**SakurAssassin**: Could you get us to the airport? We're kind of in a hurry.

"Uh, sure thing," Birdie said. He grabbed us again, and we were in the terminal.  
I headed off to one of the gates.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Thanks man!

**UltimateHeroEric**: Sassy pants, slow down! What's the rush?

**UltimateHeroEric**: Do you want to talk about it? You were acting kind of weird back there. Weirder than usual.

**SakurAssassin**: I got a little thrown off, that's all. I'll be better once we're back to our usual.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Sassy pants :(

Eric picked me up, so I stopped zooming through the walkways.

**SakurAssassin**: Eric, put me down.

**UltimateHeroEric**: You know, it's okay if you don't want to meet me in real life.

What? Where was this coming from?

**UltimateHeroEric**: I'm happy enough knowing you just from this game. I don't think they'll force you to go to the convention if you don't want to go. I mean, I'd really like to meet you, but I don't want to make you feel uncomfortable.

**SakurAssassin**: Eric, being with you at the convention isn't what would make me uncomfortable. In fact, you're probably the most comfortable thing about this whole ordeal. I have to be there at the convention anyway. I didn't know they'd tie me up in this way as well. It might just go better if I knew you were there too.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Oh?

**SakurAssassin**: There's just...a lot of stuff going on. I have to deal with a lot more things than I bargained for, and I feel like I've just been thrown another curveball.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Well, you know I'm here if you want to talk :)

**SakurAssassin**: Yeah, could you put me down already? I think I've had enough attention for today.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Right.

He put me down.

**UltimateHeroEric**: So what are we going to do next? Beat up the turtle guy?

**SakurAssassin**: I thought that you weren't worried about turtle guy?

**UltimateHeroEric**: I'm not. I just thought it might be appropriate. Send a message to those who want to take our top spots. And hey, it might relieve some of that frustration you've been building up.

**SakurAssassin**: I was only planning on getting to England to beat the next boss...

**UltimateHeroEric**: That works too :)

**SakurAssassin**: Of course it works. I am number one player in the game after all B|

**UltimateHeroEric**: -.- I should have seen that coming.


	30. Between a Rock and a Hard Place

**SakurAssassin**: I wouldn't do that if I were you.

**UltimateHeroEric**: But it's free. You can't expect me not to eat it. Not after how much this flight cost. Are you sure we couldn't have just stowed away again?

**SakurAssassin**: About as sure as that you shouldn't eat that. Do you even know what that is?

**UltimateHeroEric**: The packaging says it's food...

All of our attention was held by that inflight snack as we continued our plane ride to England. We were just staring at it really. It only took one click to bring about the action for Eric to eat that thing. -15 HP

**UltimateHeroEric**: Oh

**UltimateHeroEric**: I...I actually lost HP :(

**SakurAssassin**: I told you not to do that.

**UltimateHeroEric**: SakurAssassin: I told you not to... Can't you be wrong just once?

**SakurAssassin**: ...were you mocking me?

**UltimateHeroEric**: Yes

**SakurAssassin**: -.- Anyway, you've got to be careful with these sorts of things. They aren't always the way they appear. Especially when it comes to England.

**UltimateHeroEric**: But we're not even in England yet. What kind of sick person poisons food? :(

We heard a giggle then. Our flight attendant walked past our row. She turned to us and giggled. As she smiled, her face morphed to show her true form. Her teeth and ears became pointed. Her skin became light blue with wispy white tattoos. Her dark blue eyes became practically neon.

"Enjoy your flight," she said. Her voice was high and breathy. As she walked away, her disguise went back.

**UltimateHeroEric**: She did it. She totally did it. I'll make her pay.

Unlike a regular flight, guns and weapons were allowed to be in the main cabin. Eric reached for his and started to get up to crawl over me to the aisle.

**SakurAssassin**: Hey, not so fast. We need those fairies.

**UltimateHeroEric**: O.o Do you really expect me to believe that?

**SakurAssassin**: I know they're not bottles of sunshine and rainbows, but yes, we actually do need them. How do you think we're getting to England so fast? It's only been like two hours.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Fine. Whatever. Weird magic game stuff...

He sat back down in his chair as the fasten seatbelt light came back on.

"Fasten your seatbelts. We will be landing in London in about five minutes. We hope you enjoyed your flight!" the voice said over the intercom.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Good. It's almost over.

**SakurAssassin**: Yep. After we land, you can beat up all the magical beings you want.

* * *

**SakurAssassin**: Feel better?

**UltimateHeroEric**: Yes. Much.

Once we got to London, we tried our best to get out of the city as soon as possible. Unfortunately, things didn't exactly work out that way. We got misdirected into a horde of fanatic players before we finally found ourselves in the magical forest. From there, Eric quickly found and shot the dark green elf that had been causing that bout of mischief.

This forest, of course, was nothing like the last. The Black Forest in Germany was grim and dreadful, until you got to the candy of course. The thick forest here was saturated with colorful floating lights. Will-o'-wisps and pixies danced amongst the leaves. It was night, but you couldn't really tell. The forest was timeless.

**UltimateHeroEric**: So, there's a boss back here, right?

**SakurAssassin**: Yes. There are several, but they can be really hard to find. Some are available only at certain times of the year after many long and arduous trials.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Uh huh. Right. And you have a trick up your sleeve like you always do, right?

**SakurAssassin**: Oh, I have my tricks :)

* * *

**UltimateHeroEric**: Best. Trick. Ever.

Eric was occupying himself in our little ruse by shooting the colorful lights from the sky. As much as I enjoyed watching him have fun, I wondered what was taking so long. The boss should be here by now.

**UltimateHeroEric**: It reminds me of one of those shooting rides at those amusement parks.

Each color would disappear in a puff of smoke which would drift up above the trees.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Sure you don't want in on this action? It's really fun.

**SakurAssassin**: It'd be a hassle to try to find all of my knives back, and if I used my sword, I'd just be swinging it around above my head like a blindfolded idiot after an invisible piñata.

**UltimateHeroEric**: I'd like to see that :)

**SakurAssassin**: :P

Finally the leaves on the trees began to rustle a bit more. They'd be here soon. I switched my invisibility back on.

Pretty soon after I did that, a large gray hand wrapped around Eric's character. Three large trolls suddenly appeared from the forest.

"You think that's fun, do you?" the one that grabbed Eric said.

"He killed him, but he didn't eat them," said another.

"Stupid, people can't eat lights, George," said the last.

"Shows what you know, William. These aren't lights. They're those...those um...pixie things, right? King Charles uses them to send messages around the..." George said.

"Will both of you idiots just shut up!" the one holding Eric said. "It doesn't matter what he killed. They were mine. Everything's mine, and he's stealing from me."

"So, what are we going to do about him, Boss?" the one called William asked.

The boss troll smiled. His crooked teeth were twisted into his grin. "I think it's about time for us to have a little fun."

They laughed loudly as they ventured back to their hideout.

"Struggle all you want, little player. You're not going to hurt me. I'm the Troll King of the forest."

After they were a ways away. I followed suit.

* * *

**UltimateHeroEric**: Oh there you are, sassy pants.

**UltimateHeroEric**: I changed my mind. I don't like this trick.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Did you seriously just use me as bait?

Eric was tied up in the center of their small camp near a roaring bonfire. I was still invisible to the trolls as they drank alcohol in their merriment of finding something to cure their boredom.

**UltimateHeroEric**: You could have at least told me I was going to be bait.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Now, can you help me out? The only action I can do here is struggle, and trust me, it's not helping.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Hey, are you reading me?

**SakurAssassin**: We just need to buy a bit more time.

"I could go for a snack about now," George said. "What do you chaps say? Split him up into threesies?"

"Ooh, but how should we cook him?" William said.

**SakurAssassin**: You know a stew could be really nice.

"Who said that?" King Charles whipped his giant head around, trying to find where my player was.

**SakurAssassin**: Keep him on a slow simmer with lots of spices.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Hey, whose side are you on?

"I don't know about spices. My stomach has been acting up lately..." William said.

I smiled to myself. This was all going by the book.

**SakurAssassin**: Okay, maybe you could just grind his bones into bread. He would make nice comforting food.

"You know, I was kind of in the mood for muffins," George said.

"Would you both just shut up and concentrate! The invisible player is trying to deceive us! Don't you remember what happened last time? They're just trying to keep us out until the sun rises, and then we turn to stone."

George and William both frowned.

"I hate players," George said. "I almost forgot about the last time. I got the worst cramps in my legs."

Well, this was unexpected. Trolls aren't very known for having a great memory. Some player must have beaten them on the last sunrise. I'd have to change my tactics quick.

**SakurAssassin**: But you're such a handsome troll. I'm not like other players. I want to devote my life to serving you and only you.

"Wait, which one of us are they talking about?" William said.

"I hope they taste as sweet as their lies!" Charles said. He picked up his club and blindly swung at the tree I was sitting in. I jumped to the ground to avoid getting crushed by the falling tree. Looks like I was going to have to do this the hard way. I ran over to Eric to cut off the ropes. I'd need his extra fire power.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Thanks, sassy pants.

Eric started shooting at the trolls and grabbed their attention. His bullets didn't do a whole lot of damage in their huge bodies, but it was enough to help.

I climbed up the trees on the east side. When I got to the top, I hacked off what limbs and leaves I could find to try to reveal more light when the sun came. I winced at every swing. This wasn't good for my sword. I could feel the cheap blade coming loose.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Sassy pants look out!

George reached up towards the tree I was slashing apart. I jumped down and ran across his arm. Before he could register what was going on, I sliced at his neck. Thick orange blood oozed out from his wound, and he fell to his knees.

Eric finished off another round into William as the troll fell to the ground.

He was a little too late though. He was paying so much attention to the troll after me that he didn't notice Charles coming up behind William's falling corpse. Charles grabbed Eric and raised him to his mouth. Eric shot at him, but the bullets weren't doing much damage against him.

Charles cried out in pain as I jumped from troll to troll. I sunk my knives into his back to catch my fall. My blades were slicing through his slick skin. I'd have to do this quickly.

It sounded much easier in theory than it actually was. Charles swatted at me while I was climbing as Eric continued to fire at him. Thankfully, Charles' blows towards me were becoming less and less frequent. Unthankfully, Eric was practically inside Charles' mouth. I stood upon the trolls shoulder and held my sword high. Charles dropped Eric into his mouth, and I stabbed though Charles' head. I saw a bright flash from the corner of my eye, and I knew it was too late. Charles the Troll King of the forest was turned to stone. With my sword stuck inside him.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Hey, sassy pants, I'm in kind of a tight spot. Do you think you could get me out of here?

I carefully climbed my way over to Charles' face. There were lots of stone warts and moles to use as footholds. When Charles died, his mouth had closed slightly. Not enough to kill Eric, thank goodness, but enough to keep him trapped there.

**SakurAssassin**: Try logging out and in again. The game should put you in a place where you aren't stuck.

Eric's character disappeared and reappeared a few seconds later on Charles' shoulder where I had been.

**UltimateHeroEric**: You know, things would have probably gone a lot smoother if you had told me what you were thinking -.- I don't enjoy being troll food.

**SakurAssassin**: I'm sorry. Things weren't supposed to be that rough. It was too close of a call, and I apologize.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Oh geez, you don't have to apologize like that. We're alright. It's just... I wish you would let me in on what's going on. I mean, what if that turtle guy had shown up?

**SakurAssassin**: The turtle guy? I thought you weren't concerned about him.

**UltimateHeroEric**: I'm not. It's just... Flying blue turtles traditionally go after and knock out the people in first place, right? I just want to be sure that I've got your back. I don't like being so trapped as I was back there.

**SakurAssassin**: I guess I do see your point. I kept a bit too much to myself. It's always hard to know just how much I should share.

I ran my fingers through my hair. I could have cost us the game. We weren't usually like this. I was just feeling so pent up and antsy ever since the interview. I was doing everything in a rush and my work was becoming sloppy.

**SakurAssassin**: You really did have my back though. I think I'm just a bit off today.

**UltimateHeroEric**: You're not sick, are you?

**SakurAssassin**: Nah, I think I'm just ready to move on.

I looked at my sword.

**SakurAssassin**: I guess I'll need a new weapon. Again.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Huh? Oh this? I can get it out for you.

Eric's hands gripped my sword.

**SakurAssassin**: That's really not necessary.

Eric pulled hard. The handle broke apart from the blade. He fell back and landed on the troll's shoulder.

**UltimateHeroEric**: Whoops. Yeah, I think you need a new sword.

**SakurAssassin**: :P Nice try.

**AN: Oh wow. 30 chapters already. Thank you everybody for your support! :D  
**


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